• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Ever feel like you want someone elses life?

M

Mary on the hill

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 22, 2020
Messages
60
Location
Batavia NY
I look around at people like the few friends i have, and see their happy life, no stress. I see people in the stores holding hands and enjoying their company, and i want to BE those people. I don't want MY life! I want someone elses life. Do any of you ever feel this way? I am new here and this is my first post. I am a senior citizen living all alone in the isolated country and hating it.
 
CupofJay

CupofJay

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 19, 2020
Messages
227
Location
India
I've felt this way for a very long time, or maybe all my life. Sometimes it's guys have it better, sometimes it's extroverts are happier etc etc. The no. of times I've thought if this didn't happen at that point in time, if I had a better family, if I had the support I've always wanted, then I could be like those people is countless. I guess I am jealous of people who're carefree and happy, I want that sooo bad.
But this is me I guess.
Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side and sometimes it's not but you still crave it. That's just how we work I guess, the "what if.." is ever present.
But everybody has their share of stress and anxiety, maybe we don't see it but they too look at someone and think what if I had their life. So this is just a never ending story, jumping on to the next thing that makes you think yeah they'll fix me.
 
R_Sxo

R_Sxo

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2017
Messages
2,930
Location
Pyongyang, DPRK
When you want to be other people's lives, it means you want the good things from their life. Everyone has issues and problems, some just hide it better than others. There are others who've seen you at some point in life and wished they were you too. But all we can be is ourselves! Appreciate whatever good is in your life, and do the best with the cards you're dealt :)
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
1,273
I think perception has a lot to do with things too. If possible look to the positives in your life, and try and build/develop from them...
 
Lizaje

Lizaje

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 20, 2020
Messages
389
Location
Idk
No. Never. It's a useless wish anyway.
 
T

Thiswaythatway

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 26, 2019
Messages
117
Location
Uk
Yes. Always. I think of every person i know and am convinced that if there was a big button i could press which was a randomiser to give me any one of their lives i would press it. However, in my case it isn't really about wanting their life, its about desperately not wanting to be ME. To rid myself of myself.

It is ultimately fruitless to think like this but it's a means of expressing displeasure with one's circumstances which guess what? Is totally fine despite the current societal obsession with being grateful etc etc. Its fine to be appalled by your circumstances because i guess it could be a motivator to change.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
1,273
It's one thing to not be happy with your circumstances/life, another to be unhappy with the core of who you are...
 
S

sallimae76

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 18, 2019
Messages
533
Location
USA
I wish everyone was like me. I wish everyone was a virgin. I am asexual, and sex repulsed. I wish the stork brought babies.
 
M

Mary on the hill

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 22, 2020
Messages
60
Location
Batavia NY
I've felt this way for a very long time, or maybe all my life. Sometimes it's guys have it better, sometimes it's extroverts are happier etc etc. The no. of times I've thought if this didn't happen at that point in time, if I had a better family, if I had the support I've always wanted, then I could be like those people is countless. I guess I am jealous of people who're carefree and happy, I want that sooo bad.
But this is me I guess.
Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side and sometimes it's not but you still crave it. That's just how we work I guess, the "what if.." is ever present.
But everybody has their share of stress and anxiety, maybe we don't see it but they too look at someone and think what if I had their life. So this is just a never ending story, jumping on to the next thing that makes you think yeah they'll fix me.
Your post made me feel better. I thought i was the only one who wanted someone elses life. I don't feel "normal" and so i envy "normal" people. I too wish i could be carefree and happy. I don't understand how people can enjoy life and have no stress or little stress. My whole life has been stress and i am past 60 now.
 
Ramson mash

Ramson mash

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 1, 2019
Messages
5,417
Location
U.K
I often thought 'what if my life took a different path at crucial moments'i may have gone to university, pursued my interests, had some money, drank beer with friends in an outdoor pub at the head of the river.
Whats sureal is that you would be in the same town but you might visit different areas depending how your life turned out. You would have different friends but same family. Who's to say they are better friends if you are rich and sucessful? . But its a depressing thought cuz you only get one chance really.
 
M

Mary on the hill

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 22, 2020
Messages
60
Location
Batavia NY
When you want to be other people's lives, it means you want the good things from their life. Everyone has issues and problems, some just hide it better than others. There are others who've seen you at some point in life and wished they were you too. But all we can be is ourselves! Appreciate whatever good is in your life, and do the best with the cards you're dealt :)
Your reply made me feel better. Thanks.
 
M

Mary on the hill

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 22, 2020
Messages
60
Location
Batavia NY
Yes. Always. I think of every person i know and am convinced that if there was a big button i could press which was a randomiser to give me any one of their lives i would press it. However, in my case it isn't really about wanting their life, its about desperately not wanting to be ME. To rid myself of myself.

It is ultimately fruitless to think like this but it's a means of expressing displeasure with one's circumstances which guess what? Is totally fine despite the current societal obsession with being grateful etc etc. Its fine to be appalled by your circumstances because i guess it could be a motivator to change.
I can see that. I wish i could be someone else too and have another life. I hate my life.
 
M

Mary on the hill

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 22, 2020
Messages
60
Location
Batavia NY
I wish everyone was like me. I wish everyone was a virgin. I am asexual, and sex repulsed. I wish the stork brought babies.
I had a girl friend many yrs ago. One day when she was 35 she admitted to me that she was still a virgin! When she was a teen she was so pretty and her father kept telling her she better not ever bring a baby home so it pushed her into being a lesbian and away from men. She is 70 now and i don't see her anymore.
 
Lunar Lady

Lunar Lady

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Mar 19, 2019
Messages
7,994
Location
UK
I see life as one of the early video games when you had to go on a quest.

The better the player you are, the harder the quest needs to be to challenge you. Harder quests are progress.

It's not about the demons or dragons you encounter or the amount of times you have to restart the game - it's about collecting the necessary tools. You slay the dragon to collect the diamond - kill the troll to get the golden sword ....(and now you all think I'm nuts or on drugs :redface:)

My point is - nothing worth having comes easy. Nothing of any value comes easy. Keep fighting and collecting the tools that will ultimately make you a winner. x
 
S

sallimae76

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 18, 2019
Messages
533
Location
USA
I had a girl friend many yrs ago. One day when she was 35 she admitted to me that she was still a virgin! When she was a teen she was so pretty and her father kept telling her she better not ever bring a baby home so it pushed her into being a lesbian and away from men. She is 70 now and i don't see her anymore.
I'm not a lesbian. I am asexual. THERE IS A BIG DIFFERENCE!!!
 
Top