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EVENT 1,THE BIKER poss/trigger

J

JETBOY

Guest
THIS EVENT TOOK PLACE SHORTLY AFTER THE VISITOR (MY DEPRESSION )
HAD ENTERED MY LIFE ,AN INNOCENT BOY OF SEVEN YEARS OLD.

i was seven at the time roughly when the visitor arrived when this took place. I heard the motorbike revving up behind the shops near my home ,so i went to look at the fence ,i could see a man with a beard ,messing with the bike ,he would ride them up and down ,he would glance at me now and then as he went by ,i loved bikes ,i went in the shop and bought a mars bar ,wwoow the guy with the bikes was serving me behind the counter ,do you like bikes he asked ,i nodded ,well next time you see me come around and have a look ,again i nodded ,and skipped home ,
the bike guy hand spoke to me ,cool ,next day i heard the bikes and went
round to the back of the shop ,i stood away a little ,he noticed me stood there and came over to me ,put his hand on my shoulder and ushered me to his big shed ,he had many bikes ,and bits all over ,during the coming days he would have me cleaning parts and show me how things worked ,i
never said much ,but he did not seem to mind .it was great i was an hells angel ,one day i was needing a pee and got up to go home ,were you going he asked ,toilet i said ,here you go ,took me to a small outhouse
with a toilet ,i wouldnt go in ,theres no light i said ,he flicked on the light and i went in ,i left the door unlocked ,i have a morbid fear of dark small spaces ,i was just starting to relieve myself ,the door clicked shut as the light went out ,i went crazy pissed allover mysef ,screaming ,kiicking ,the door crying for my mother ,he entered as the light went on ,the door held shut behind him ,sshhh,sshhh he said ,be quiet ,if you make a niose i,ll turn out the light ,he touched me in my private place ,were only i had ever touched ,as he did things to he told me if i told anyone he would shut me in here and turn out the light and no one would hear ,and if i did not come back he would come and find me ,and tell the police i had stolen sweets from the shop ,each time i went round he would take his pleasure with me
i was young ,frightend ,i still loved the bikes ,i didnt know what he was doing or how it wasnt supposed to be this way ,,weeks passed and one day ,he pushed me over a bike saddle and he ,well he raped me ,,it hurt so much i cryed ,he offered me sweets ,told me he would take me out riding ,i knew this was very wrong and was very confused,i didnt want to go back but fear made me ,the next day i went round all was quiet and the bike shed locked ,days went by nothing after a few weeks i knew he had gone ,i know now ,he probably had reliesed he had committed a great atrocity and had made good his escape ,i was and still am afraid of small spaces i can still feel him touching me and smell his grubby little oily hands ,and the bikes i hear often ,its taken a great deal of courage to write this,i still wonder if hell come back ,maybe the visitor will bring him to me ,this was the first big event in my life ,and in a few years ,after this brutal attack had taken place i would indeed become a true rebel and would ultimatly destroy my youngself forever.
ive only spoken of this once ,but never to anyone in real life ,if you will pardon that expression there was never any point ,i was so young and did not know what was happening to me ,or maybe i was just a dirty little boy
this event would set me on the path to destruction a roller coaster of ,
drunkeness ,a string of suicide attempts ,and a catrophic event wicth would
destroy my life forever ,this i may or may not tell,ive said enough for now

to those of you who suffer now ,and see no end ,ive walked the same path
you walk ,for so many years dont pray or ask for death ,it will not come ,and
you know nothing of death it may not be peace and rest ,fluffy clouds and a
happy face to greet you ,unless you know someone who has been to this
mysterious place called death ,and have returned to tell you about it ,then it
remains a mystery to all mankind ,but what you live with now ,you know well
and if your clever and look further than the darkness would like you to see,
then you can learn lessons from the very thing that holds you in its grip,
it will give you gifts ,you just need to reach deep within yourselves to find them ,and when you doubt yourself ,look behind you and see how far you have travelled ,and what of your freinds here ,do you not see them ,look a
little harder ,for they are within your very heart carried there by the kind words they send to you ,i know only one here so far ,but my gift is giving i
never came here to take ,but i know there is love and caring here ,and this is a warm place to be ,when your in that dark pit ,and you become blind just
reach out ,and through the darkness you will feel so many hands reaching back to lift you into the light you seek so badly ,stay safe,,,,,,JETBOY
 
KP1

KP1

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Apr 4, 2008
Messages
1,500
Jetboy you are very brave for posting that.
Take care
KP:hug:
 
J

jamesdean

Guest
I am pleased to meet you jet boy I hope that you can stay strong such a heart felt post best wishes JD
 
L

Lady Summer Isles

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 13, 2009
Messages
923
Location
NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE
Thank you for posting this Jetboy. I don't know how you found the strength, all i can say is i've had experiences of this kind also but am not stong and brave enough to talk openly as you have. I hope you will continue to stay on the site as this post has helped me today. Many thanks
Tannith
 
J

JETBOY

Guest
it pleases me here

thanks for your kind comments ,i have found this site pleaseing and easy to
use ,sapphire,was very helpful ,thankyou ,but as for today i fly on the wings of demons ,and this journey that im forced to endure is to a very dark place
indeed ,but ive made this flight many times ,and when they have finished with my broken soul ,they will set me down on earth once more were i may rest ,JETBOY
 
S

*Sapphire*

Guest
That was a very brave step you took for sharing that after keeping it to yourself for so long. I hope you found the process cathartic, and that in return you find some support and understanding from others here.:hug:

I also hope that the demons presence in your life somewhat lessens their grip on you.
 
J

JETBOY

Guest
gifts

your words are welcome ,and as i lay in this baron land the warrior within me
clawed in the dust of battle ,tired and lonely ,he found these words ,the very
gifts i have spoken of before .and he will use them now ,the very weapons
he needed to find ,to carry on against this prolonged attack when will it end ,or will it be me that must end ,JETBOY,,,,,,((((((THANKYOU))))))
 
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