Erotomanic Delusions and Establishing Reality

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freyjafiore

New member
Joined
Jun 8, 2018
Messages
2
Hi everyone.
28.f, diagnosed with drug induced psychosis which was changed to paranoid schizophrenia after a period of sobriety and no dissipation of hallucinations and delusions. there was a lot of stress and emotional trauma that led to my first episode that seriously skewed my perception of reality and then the psychosis hit. fast forward 10 years. i have been sober for 6 and just recently came off of anti psychotics (worked closely with a dr and medical team, as well as AA sponsors and spiritual advisors). i have so much more mental energy now but its going right back into the erotomania (i feel like someone famous is in love with me, and no matter how much i try to rationalize it, i cant beat the feeling that i am being talked to through cameras, mics, and speakers hidden in my walls). i have a pretty good grip on reality, or at least "being present", i can work (extremely high stress cause the voices follow me everywhere i go at my workplace), but this is a fricking barrier that has dogged me for 10 years. i admit that i am so lonely and vulnerable that i create these romantic fantasies in my head and a lot of the people that i crush on usually end up playing a part in my "who are the voices" delusion.

i want to step out of it. i have done so much work and introspection and no matter what i seem to do, my brain wiring sends me back into listening to the voices and falling in love with a romantic fantasy.

does anyone have any experience with something similar , or any tips on how to "ground"?

i use a lot of art and physical activity but when im depressed and lethargic i just... reel.

thank you <3
 
Mr.NiceGuy

Mr.NiceGuy

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 12, 2016
Messages
442
believing your voices are living human beings can be painful. Remember that it is impossible to act as a voice onto another's thought. This won't stifle the voices but help distance yourself from believing they are real living people you may know. I believe voices are actual beings or ghosts. The common take on them is that they only criticize your thoughts, they never have thought of there own that they bring up, unless it pertains to your surroundings. A ghost can do certain things for you that a living human cannot. They can see and hear what is going on around you, a simple test that they are ghosts. A lot of times they go completely silent for me for days. I summon them back by creating voices in white noise or singing songs into white noise. And don't forget wagging your tailbone makes your ears dizzy. A ghost generally doesn't know this and can fuel hallucinations you may have from this dizzyness. If a ghost makes me too paranoid I might talk out loud to it until I talk it down to size, but sometimes that just pisses me off.
 
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