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End Up Doing Drugs Again

MagicJay

MagicJay

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 23, 2011
Messages
298
Location
Konoha
Been struggling really bad lately the war inside got so much harder again, locked away in my room feeling so lonely but don't want be around anyone, blaming myself for all the bad stuff I've done how things could of been different if I didn't do the thing if I wasn't me if I didn't have these stupid god damn problems why am I like this why does it have be so hard.

So last night I went a brought some drugs for the escape, didn't get back home till 7 this morning, now the guilt is killing me and my emotions are so shit. I went 8 months or longer without them now I've come back to this again.

Why can't I know what I want and not change every freaking 5 mins.
 
Spit_it_out

Spit_it_out

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
59
Location
Aberdeen
I am sorry to hear you've had a relapse, but it ok. I used to take a lot of drugs for the escape and sometimes it is still really tempting, however I convinced myself that if I take drugs again then that's going to make my bpd worse. Its not easy tho cause sometimes you just don't care. I dont know id you've heard of him but there's this comedian Bill Hicks (well, hes dead now) but there was one line that he said that always makes me feel better when I'm down or freaking out or angry "life is just a ride". And I tell myself this all the time. No matter what happens, what people think, who pisses you off, how many f**ked up things are going on inside.... Who cares, cause life is just a ride. And one day it will come to an end. So make the most of it n scr*ew everyone n everything. Do what makes you happy. Cause .. Life is just a ride.

I hope this helps, as it has done for me. I've not taken drugs in over a year now.
 
chazxxx

chazxxx

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 1, 2015
Messages
744
Don't beat yourself up about it. Its happened now. Sometimes the crap we go through is just too much and we need a release. Shit happens. We slip. We end up where we didnt want to be. But you know you dont want to keep doing this. So just count it as a blip and carry on.
 
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