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End-of-the-year holidays coming

tnelis

tnelis

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Nov 15, 2019
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Hungary
...and all things are a bit worse than normally. I dont know if Christmas or New Years Eve is worse but the end of the year is always hard for me (birthday too in November). I know exactly that its just like the same as like another parts of the year, but still feel loneliness, emptyness harder. My rational mind and my feelings doesnt match. How "get used to it"? I am kinda afraid, my last New Years Eve were the worst.
 
TulipIceCream

TulipIceCream

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Sep 5, 2019
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On The Train
I feel the same way. I was completely alone last year for the holidays and boy did I feel bad. Everyone goes to a fun New Years Eve party and has a person to be flirty with but I had no invitation in the first place. It's like I was totally forgotten. I don't think you should "get used to it". Since your reaction is loneliness, can you go out with people during these times? You want to say it's like any other time of the year but part of you feels like its a time to be with people. Is there a fun social place nearby you can hang out? Your peers, what are they doing? This is advice I wish I had gotten when I was younger. :) I hope you are able to find people or if you do want to stay home then I hope that you are ok with the results of that too. All the best!
 
L

Livebythesea

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Nov 29, 2019
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East Coast
I know how you feel! When I am 'well' I enjoy the holidays and New Years...but last year and this year it's just more reminders of all that I've lost due to depression.
 
tnelis

tnelis

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Joined
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Messages
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Hungary
Thanks for your kind words! The truth is, i dont really want to go and have fun at parties. I am deeply an introvert, i prefer a company of a few people who are quiet and respect each other and has similar interests and temper like me. But lately i started to realise i cant find anyone like this.
My "close family" only contains my dad who has a girlfriend who hates me (although i really tried to change her feeling, i helped them a lot, always were kind and respectful) and he has his own group of friends.
I dont think i have friends too. I had a few guys who did the same sport than me and spent a few New Years Eve with them but things changed, the got older. Not old but old enough to spend holidays with their families. Last year my "girlfriend" went to a big loud party with her arrogant, unrespectful and intolerant friend, but i was at the deepest part of my depression so i couldnt go and left alone at home in an other town.
I am thinking about going to work this New Years Eve. I am lucky that i can go there anytime. I may feel bad again but i think the enviroment will help avoid selfharm 🙂
 
tnelis

tnelis

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Nov 15, 2019
Messages
20
Location
Hungary
I know how you feel! When I am 'well' I enjoy the holidays and New Years...but last year and this year it's just more reminders of all that I've lost due to depression.
Thank for your reply and your solidarity! I wish you feel better! There is still time until these days for you to get better a bit. I enjoyed them few years ago too.
 
TulipIceCream

TulipIceCream

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Well, Tnelis, if you have no friends currently, are you sure? This is an opportunity for casual acquaintance and workmates to becomes friends for you. If it is important to you, make one step, not all the steps (unless you want to), just one step towards a social circle. It could be great for you. If you want to work, I encourage you to look around at the others who are also working, and see that they are maybe, in the situation you are also in. I hope it works out for you, tbnelis, if you want it to work, it will :) All the bests, and happy new year to you!
 
tnelis

tnelis

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This is actually a really great idea, thanks! I think if i go down to the garden i can look up to the windows and check if some of them has a light switched on behind it at the workplace.
I tried to befriend them and i think in a way they like me because i alwasy listen them carefully and dont want to overcome on anybody, but they just stopped to invite me anywhere. I think noone wants to invite a depressed person who hardly lough and not so entertaining.
 
tnelis

tnelis

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Messages
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Location
Hungary
Well, Tnelis, if you have no friends currently, are you sure? This is an opportunity for casual acquaintance and workmates to becomes friends for you. If it is important to you, make one step, not all the steps (unless you want to), just one step towards a social circle. It could be great for you. If you want to work, I encourage you to look around at the others who are also working, and see that they are maybe, in the situation you are also in. I hope it works out for you, tbnelis, if you want it to work, it will :) All the bests, and happy new year to you!
Also, happy new year to you too! ☺ How about your plans for the holidays?
 
TulipIceCream

TulipIceCream

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New Years I will be at my fiancees place, hopefully we will drink some booze and have a good laugh :)

1575489492599.png
 
tnelis

tnelis

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Sound great, i wish you a lot of fun! 🙂 (I had to google the word craic 😀)
 
Lady in Blue

Lady in Blue

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Nov 9, 2019
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63
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Toronto, Ontario, Canada
I don't like Christmas and New Years, either. It's the prelude to increased rent, prices going up. There's usually some environmental disaster or terrorist attack, fireworks, parties, crime and two weeks of disruption in routine. I find the artificial decorations unappealing and the rituals meaningless, except for the religious celebration. On the one hand I crave peace, quiet, sensory decompression; on the other hand, I'm so lonely and the emptiness can be palpable.
 
tnelis

tnelis

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Hungary
I feel almost the same, except the disruption in routine. Sometimes it can be good because i can focus on other things then bad feelings.
 
Zig Zag

Zig Zag

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Mar 29, 2019
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Hi thewlis You are right being busy especially doing new things CAN really ease depression quite a lot May I wish you a Happy Christmas for this year.😂😂🐯
 
tnelis

tnelis

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Hungary
Thank you Zig Zag, i wish you a happy Christmas (and happy all other part of the year) too 😊
 
Zig Zag

Zig Zag

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Thankyou thewlis I am retired now so l suppose I could say I am experiencing Christmas every day May God especialy bless you :havingfun:
 
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