• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Emptiness, but better (BPD help)

Q

quantum1connect

Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2014
Messages
7
So, I still feel empty and confused but I'm better off.

In the past 4 months I have been hospitalized twice, finished DBT, CBT, and have followed through with a new therapist.

I quit all my meds three months ago. I hate them. They make me feel worse and take more of me than it gives.

I recently tried medical marijuana. After using it six times, I know it is not for me. It makes things worse. And CBD oil? I don't know if that works either. So that's another idea gone.

It has been 7 weeks since my last cig.

I only have about 2-3 beers a month.

What works best is exercise, writing, and playing music. But I've lost confidence to do anything.

I'm always confused, angry, dissociating, anxious and angry. I think about death a lot. But I no longer have any active plans.

I feel disfunctional, I have no identity, and I feel alone despite the objective reality.

I want to be happy. I'm easily and almost always angry.

I'm trying to fix my codependent marriage.

I'm afraid of being alone.

I don't know. I feel like I'm in a mess.

My plan of action right now:
1) take one day at a time and focus on work.
2) take care of my diabetes.
3) start meditating regularly.
4) eat right.
5) go back and use my skills learnt in CBT and DBT.
6) just start studying for my certs
7) just write
8) just play piano
9) just enjoy some time playing some video games


Am I on the right track?

Or am I going crazy?

I just want to find my self, be happy, and have a good grounding in reality. I feel like I'm just cruising through and if I don't stabalize, I might crash again.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,529
Location
The West Country
It sounds like you've done really well so far, and your plan of action sounds really sensible and hopefully might help you feel a bit more stable.

I would try to give advice, but honestly, it sounds like you're very wise and know what will be good for you.
Mind you, knowing what is helpful is just one step - the real battle is actually doing it! x
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
B What makes you feel better? Getting Your Life Back! 24
S Deleting social media made my life better Getting Your Life Back! 10
W Maybe procrastination feels better Getting Your Life Back! 1
gt86 Wish there was better times Getting Your Life Back! 1
gt86 Do things get better or worse? Getting Your Life Back! 13
K what books or websites would you recommend if you want to understand people better Getting Your Life Back! 11
R recovery better what does it mean to people Getting Your Life Back! 28
Hello513 Do you believe severe mental illness, like psychosis, can be treated better with therapy, and mental techniques rather than medications. Getting Your Life Back! 4
Screechout Things are getting better (1 year on from my breakdown) Getting Your Life Back! 2
R First steps to a better life? Getting Your Life Back! 5
Macka Recovery made me better equipped to avoid life - reality bites! Getting Your Life Back! 26
M Working to better myself Getting Your Life Back! 5
E How to get better when you don't want to get better...? Getting Your Life Back! 18
L Mixed feelings about feeling better Getting Your Life Back! 1
cpuusage Release the Walls Around Your Heart for Better Health and Happiness Getting Your Life Back! 1
J It's Starting to Get Better Getting Your Life Back! 2
W Hi, I've just joined. Getting to better Getting Your Life Back! 4
LoneKnight Feeling better Getting Your Life Back! 2
SarahD Does anybody ever get better? Getting Your Life Back! 28
Gajolene 20 Signs You’re Doing Better Than You Think You Are Getting Your Life Back! 5
Françoise I thought I was better but then... Getting Your Life Back! 2
N What are your 'getting better' NY resolutions? Getting Your Life Back! 14
W Appointment with NHS due? Better miss it! Getting Your Life Back! 4
Gajolene Progressive Relaxation for Better Sleep Getting Your Life Back! 2
LORD BURT Coping better. Getting Your Life Back! 3
amathus 'Could do better'... Getting Your Life Back! 5
K I believe I am now going to be better off Getting Your Life Back! 4
Anime-Alchemy Moving Forward and Getting Better as a Person Getting Your Life Back! 6
L Everyone wants me to get "better" Getting Your Life Back! 9
coldwater00 Medication free at last, and doing much better Getting Your Life Back! 21
R Doing much much better. Feeling positive again Getting Your Life Back! 7
P my plan for WHEN (not if) WHEN ii get better Getting Your Life Back! 1
Brian01 The Long Road for a Better Life, the Highs & the Lows Getting Your Life Back! 187
L Trying to get better! Getting Your Life Back! 6
L I can't recover with a bpd diagnosis Getting Your Life Back! 2
J Living with BPD! And my road to diagnosis and getting my life back! Getting Your Life Back! 2

Similar threads

Top