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Employability

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AmisulprideJunkie

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 24, 2012
Messages
46
Location
UK
I have a long history of abuse (since childhood) and related anxiety problems.

I recently been diagnosed with life-long physical health condition (disability) which can be quite debilitating. My health deteriorated rapidly in the last few months I am unable to drive as these make me drowsy.

I'm now anxious, feeling concerned about my employability and reliability.

I find out tomorrow what the future is for me at work, having asked for a part-time role in an environment where the tasks do not worsen my health. I am also applying for PIP - the forms arrived today (dated 4th November!) tsk tsk! :(

Advice would be appreciated ...

:panic:
 
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volnash

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2014
Messages
566
Im glad that your current working doesnt deter your health, i have a disability too which is not obvious to people but i am going back to school next year, this has been a personal choice and though everyone told me to not work or study i am now realising that these things in your life actually supports good health, id say in your case a part time work tells me that you have self insight and that you are possibly headed in the right direction.

I dont really know what adwice to give you here, other then this.

Try to do what you can do when you are able, try not to overreach id say with you going part-time you are not doing this.

Also try to take some steps back and figure out what you want to do with your life, maybe you are past this phase? i dont know your age and i wont ask but sometimes we should step back a bit and consider what we want out of life.

I am also sorry that your health has deteroriated, im assuming you're taking medicine that makes you drowsy or is this the condition itself? you neednt mention it here by the way.

As to your abuse problems, ive had some abuse too in the form of mental abuse mostly id suggest you take that up with your current doctor, who can refer you to trauma specialists, psychiatrist, psychologist, or etc also judging by your name id suggest you are being ironic here and that you dont really consider yourself to be what your name entails, but let's not focus there at all.

Id adwice you to put health first, especially mental health id say you just get some good sleep tonight and dont stay up here all night, try to wind down a bit before the day where you get some information on your work, as for the rest im sceptical now due to some experience about talking too much of these things to non-professionals as i believe even though i have tried my best in giving adwice with good intentions, that i have failed a bit which is why im reluctant to give too much adwice to you at this point.

As for anxiety i believe i get that though with me it's based on fear of recurring events, and the general anxiety has more paranoid aspects to it but i guess it's anxiety nevertheless, for those things id suggest exercise, getting enough fresh air, maybe taking some walk to clear your mind a bit and gets you at ease, this is whatever you enjoy to do.

Judging that you are gonna be getting PIP id assume you are in the UK, if money isnt an issue i wouldnt stress too much with working at this time, i dont know your condition so i cant say much, but i believe in eliminating unneccesary stress in periods of hardship, this is no defeat and it can be the right step, you however mentioned that your part time work doesnt make things worse, so only consider this if things are too much to handle, just as a future reference.

Hope i have atleast helped a little, i wish you the best of luck with your work and your disability and anxiety and uncovering some of that tangled pain from your childhood abuse.

Take care -Andre-
 
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AmisulprideJunkie

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 24, 2012
Messages
46
Location
UK
Hi Andre

I'm middle-aged and heading for the classic midlife crisis. My physical health is leading to me questioning my worth in the workplace and even my femininity. My health condition has troubled me since the mid 1990s but has worsened in the last couple of years. As a consequence, I am overweight, using a walking stick, hearing aid, flat shoes and easy care hair when, a few years ago, I was glamorous and wore make up and stylish clothing in small sizes.

I've been off work for a month now and unable to return to the workplace setting as it has triggers for my physical problems. I'm also trying to settle into the new drugs regime and considering the travel implications. I am also wondering why I'm still paying my employer for parking when I can no longer drive ...

I dealt with the abuse (childhood and first marriage) through counselling and don't blame myself for any of it. However, the long term consequence is my tendency to become anxious and go on full alert.

The anxiety and fatigue are known symptoms of my condition but the prescription medications also cause drowsiness. If I don't take the meds, I've got vertigo. Either way I cannot safely drive.

Great suggestion. I have been down the education route and have a Master's degree and Bachelors with first class honours. I cannot afford more education as I'm still paying £173 pcm for the MA. I have a secretarial diploma but am hypersensitised to certain noises which cause physical discomfort - don't forget the hearing impairment and aid. Ho hum! If I didn't laugh, I'd cry.

I have been trying to think what I CAN DO but there are not many options. So many jobs ask that you do filing and lifting of heavy files/boxes, driving or good communication skills etc.

I was advised by the Job Centre Disability Employment Advisor to apply for PIP and think about my quality of life. I have done so much thinking lately.

I may go part-time self-employed but in a crafting way so that I do not have the phone ringing all times of the day and night and can grandma nap and/or work when necessary - I tend to be OK outside normal office hours (evenings). Crafting wouldn't bring in much money but it would be therapeutic, cover the costs (not time) and make me feel worthwhile. I am very good at embroidery and sewing.

Thank you, I will try to chill this evening

PS I call myself Amisulpride Junkie as a psychiatrist prescribed this for my 'resistant clinical depression' but it seems that the issues were actually caused by my history of abuse and the current condition which was formally diagnosed recently. This condition has rapidly deteriorated and my drugs make me drowsy but help prevent vertigo.
 
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volnash

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2014
Messages
566
I think you should try to chill this evening as you said yourself, im sure you have many fine qualities, embroidery, sewing, i will not say that i am sad to hear that you are overweight people have probably told you that before, and people have probably told you to get to the gym, or eat healthier or whatever bullshit people give to someone in distress, i will disregard this and tell you rather to try and treat yourself kindly, this can be whatever you enjoy to do, and do more of that and eliminate anything you dont like from your life, such as friends or people who bring you down, in whatever way they do this, maybe they tell you hurtful things or look at you in a bad way? these things are just how most people are and it does not represent all the people in the world, fortunately.

It's also good to hear that you have been getting some counselling and therapy for your childhood, i can understand that such things is hard to elaborate on, even in a forum where you can remain anonymous, something ive opted to not do but i dont give out my full address and name, andre is one of my names, i avoided first name and will avoid last name.

As for the travel complications i very much get your concern here, unfortunately some medicine does have that effect, aswell as vertigo, and i guess you are resulting to public transportation in this case? also about your condition may i ask if it's permanent or does it have a good outcome as a possibility? as in returning to your old self, wearing nice clothes being feminine etc, i can see that this could give you alot of headache and some feelings of sadness as im quite sure that you desperately want to be back to your old self, as for weight there are steps you could take, have you tried swimming? it works perfectly for me and doesnt put as much weight and pressure on your joints, and is good for those who are a little bit overweight.

Also i get that your anxiety can be triggered from time to time, as this happens to me also quite frequently unfortunately but atleast there are ways to cope when it kicks in, as im sure someone has already described, have you tried taking a warm shower and washing away some of your pain? just imagine you brushing your hands across your body and taking away any pain you are experiencing at the time, and i believe it to be also good medicine for anxiety in general.

Also judging by your master's and bachelor id say you are quite intelligent and articulate and nobody can take that away from you, even if your health deteroriates/has already, id say hold onto the fact that you have accomplished alot in life and in no way should you feel any shame or other negative feelings towards your own accomplishments or what you have achieved, this tells me that you are willfull and smart and someone who doesnt give up easily, especially as you are trying to work even with the hardships it gives you, my personal opinion is that you have to feel on it a bit and decide whether it's worth it or not in the end, id say physical exercise is important as it may help with some of your self esteem issues when it comes to your weight and also give you a better physical health which translates very well to mind.

A short adwice here first, try swimming really just try it you can do water aerobics aswell, even if you can only do it with one leg or your arms in general, have you been to a physical rehabilitation center? i bet you have and maybe you did swimming there, if you havent tried that i would definetely reccomend it, i had some weeks of it myself.

Im not sure about the secretarial diploma as i have no education past 10th grade myself, due to some personal reasons, but i hope i have helped a little with my writing here.

Also you are adjusting to a new medicine regime at the time, and this can take time and you need to put some patience into this matter, speaking from personal experience, let mental health be your first priority here im not saying you are struggling deeply in that matter, but it applies to everyday things aswell.

Additionally i thought id mention some natural things that have helped people with dizzyness, this is adding more vegetables to your diet, these can be made in a juicer or a smoothie machine, different purposes but both are great.

I hope and know that this can only get better, especially if you follow some of my adwice such as swimming, this will help with some of your physical issues which will ultimately lead to a better mental functioning aswell.

As to your vertigo what i found online tells me that it's dizzyness which makes me relate more to what you wrote earlier about driving.

Hope i have helped a little bit here too, and that you continue to talk to me:)
 
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A

AmisulprideJunkie

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 24, 2012
Messages
46
Location
UK
Hi

Yes, I've had lots of criticism about the weight gain having increased from a UK size 10 to an 18. My friends have never criticised me - it it those who are supposed to be loving and supportive who have. However, my husband has never been insulting and always tells me that I am lovely - not just physically but as a person.

I probably sound vain but it's hard seeing myself change so quickly and I guess I'm at an age where the hormones change and I'm over sensitive.

My health condition is permanent, it's called Meniere's Syndrome/Disease. It is now bilateral and very active. I do hope that it will settle and become less debilitating. The condition has no cure but treatments can help. I am so drowsy though so wonder if I'd be better off with vertigo? I'll ask my GP.

After decades of anxiety issues I am recognising symptoms and actions to take to limit it. The vertigo attacks (in public) do add to the anxiety.

I have been off work for a month and planning to swim as my therapy. However, I'm concerned about going swimming when signed off work and being seen as a shirker. I do see swimming as my best option but will need to let the life guard know that I'm disabled - don't want to have a vertigo attack and drown LOL!

Yes, I am seeing my mental health as most important. If I have good mental health then the physical problems won't be as much of an issue.

As for diet, I have to avoid salt, alcohol and coffee. Well, I used to like having salt on food but have got used to not taking it. I have gone off alcohol and my body rejected coffee last year. So, that is good. Smoothies would be a great plan - I guess the green vegies would be best. I do have a Vit B12 deficiency and low Vit D - injections for the former and daily drugs for the latter.

Not having an education beyond 10th grade (age 16 in the UK?) has done you no harm. Not having the opportunity is awful and there are many highly intelligent people who are wasted in everyday jobs and some educated people who only have wealth behind them. Believe me, I used to work as an academic writer and was paid to write 'model answers' for wealthy students.

You are very helpful and provide wise counsel. :)
 
V

volnash

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2014
Messages
566
I have gone off alcohol aswell, permanently which has helped me tons in life, and thank god that you have such an supportive husband, it gives me alot of joy to know that you have someone that gives you positive reinforcement in life, this makes me glad:)

I also avoid salt alcohol and sugar in my diet completely, for physical and mental reasons and ive taught myself to not self comfort for other reasons.

And even though your health condition is permanent i do believe you can take certain steps, you are already gonna swim as i adwiced, so after that comes diet i guess and you are already doing that, try to make sure you get enough of vegetables, and id reccomend taking olive oil and omega 3 as it affects your joints in a positive way.

I was lead on a different path, so school beyond 10th grade was not an option, i am however going back to school now that my path has led me somewhere i didnt want to be, and that ive realised the extent of that.

I dont know if im wise, but ive been through alot despite a young age so i feel as if i can contribute in some areas and aspects, where i feel uncomfortable giving adwice i simply dont proceed, and in some cases i even take on too much, but magically find some newfound strength to try and tackle it even then.

Thank you however for saying that i have been supportive, that gives me alot personally:)

Take care of yourself, and i mean that and i wish you the best of luck with everything.
 
A

AmisulprideJunkie

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 24, 2012
Messages
46
Location
UK
You have wisdom - that it gained from life experience and having empathy. Returning to education will be good for you and I do wonder whether you could be a social worker/counsellor or similar.

My husband takes care of my diet. I do have deficiencies but these were possibly caused by years of self-neglect and binge drinking to give me the courage to socialise when I was between marriages. I was also a vegetarian for 15 years - big mistake as I have had arthritis since I was 20 but it was only diagnosed when I was 30. Yes, supplements would be good for me.

My daughter is also a good support and I have a few close friends - quality rather than quantity :)

Thank you again for your support and kindness :hug1:

The Polar Express ticket states "believe" ...
 
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volnash

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 16, 2014
Messages
566
I totally agree with quality over quantity, thank you for that im actually considering working as a vernepleier in the future, in the psychiatric field to be specific but right now i am not in the position to debate and discuss so much on it, simply because it's too much debating it with a friend who has schizophrenia anyway.

And do continue to take supplements, i believe diet and exercise to be key in our mental well being, i can see the being a vegeterian thing, it's not always healthy and for everyone, but people seem to forget adding enough protein which is essential for normal bodily function, liver organs brain, and heart.

It's good that you have your daughter, and dont worry about it ive enjoyed our chat as much as handing out adwice which i was comfortable with giving:)

Do take care of yourself and your family, and we can talk again no problem im on here quite alot so.

Nothing to thank me for, thank you too for being open and allowing me to try and help im still learning and this forum provides alot of useful information to me, in my path to being a caregiver someday.

:)
 
V

Verity

Guest
Hi Ami,

Volnash has given you great advice :)

Try to focus on your well being for now as that always has to be priority. When the time comes for you to fill out your PIP application this website will be of great help to you:

Home

I wish you the very best :)
 
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