Emotional disconnection/intensity and self harm



I'm still doing lots of things now to hurt and harm myself. I know the forum rules dictate I can't say what. I continue to have suicidal thoughts and have strong urges to kill myself..... but importantly, I don't want to die.. I'm not sad. I'm not depressed. I'm just obsessed with harming myself. I saw my psychiatrist last week. He believes I have full capacity to keep myself safe. I think I do too. Sometimes my urges are so intense, but once they reach 100% (within minutes), I then shut off emotionally and the risk is gone. The only real risk is in those moments of 100%. It's a contradiction I don't understand because....I mainly want to harm myself because I'm so disconnected from my emotions.

And, I'm disconnected from my emotions because of my antidepressants.....but if I stop my antidepressants I become overwhelmed with my emotions....and get suicidal.

All I can do now is laugh and accept the predicament I find myself in. I could do with a holiday from my head.
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Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Apr 9, 2011
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
hi ,i understand the need to self harm only to well
if you ever want to talk in detail and can't do so on the forum
please message me if you would like i will do my best to listen and support
love lu xx
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