S
shelly33
Member
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2009
- Messages
- 18
Hi,
I have bipolar disorder and an anxiety disorder. I'm also emetophobic. I'm terrified of the prospect of someone being sick near me, or of being sick myself. I eat a restricted diet (I'm really paranoid about certain foods eg meat and eating out). Normally my fear is low level and manageable, but it's always there to some extent. When my depression and anxiety are severe like now though, my emetophobia goes crazy if triggered.
At the moment my partner is pretty much my sole means of social support, because of my depression/anxiety issues. He had the symptoms of a stomach bug yesterday, and now I'm afraid to see him. I'm scared that we will fall out now, because I can't communicate to anybody how strong my fear of vomiting or seeing anyone else do so is. I ruined a holiday with my family because they chose to travel by boat and my fear became so acute on the boat that I sat alone with my eyes shut and fingers in my ears, so of course they were upset because I couldn't explain it to them.
I've never told my dr or anyone else about this, because I think that they will think that I am ridiculous. I know that it sounds totally irrational. Most people feel unwell, they are sick, it is unpleasant at the time, and they get better (similarly, if someone is sick near them). But to me, it is a paralysing fear. I feel like I'd rather die. When I hear of gastric flu doing the rounds (especially norovirus type illnesses), I feel suicidal with fear. To me it seems like it would be better to die than experience that.
I don't know why this is as I don't remember ever having a traumatic event, but ever since childhood I have reacted like this.
Please help with any support or advice you may be able to offer. And if you just want to offload, I understand, and I'll listen.
Shelly x
I have bipolar disorder and an anxiety disorder. I'm also emetophobic. I'm terrified of the prospect of someone being sick near me, or of being sick myself. I eat a restricted diet (I'm really paranoid about certain foods eg meat and eating out). Normally my fear is low level and manageable, but it's always there to some extent. When my depression and anxiety are severe like now though, my emetophobia goes crazy if triggered.
At the moment my partner is pretty much my sole means of social support, because of my depression/anxiety issues. He had the symptoms of a stomach bug yesterday, and now I'm afraid to see him. I'm scared that we will fall out now, because I can't communicate to anybody how strong my fear of vomiting or seeing anyone else do so is. I ruined a holiday with my family because they chose to travel by boat and my fear became so acute on the boat that I sat alone with my eyes shut and fingers in my ears, so of course they were upset because I couldn't explain it to them.
I've never told my dr or anyone else about this, because I think that they will think that I am ridiculous. I know that it sounds totally irrational. Most people feel unwell, they are sick, it is unpleasant at the time, and they get better (similarly, if someone is sick near them). But to me, it is a paralysing fear. I feel like I'd rather die. When I hear of gastric flu doing the rounds (especially norovirus type illnesses), I feel suicidal with fear. To me it seems like it would be better to die than experience that.
I don't know why this is as I don't remember ever having a traumatic event, but ever since childhood I have reacted like this.
Please help with any support or advice you may be able to offer. And if you just want to offload, I understand, and I'll listen.
Shelly x