- Jan 31, 2019
I had to move my 82 year old mother in with me 2 years ago. She was not able to stay in her home 2000 miles away any longer and blew most of her retirement money on jewelry and general crap. At the time I did that, I was taking care of my husband and adult son who both had Huntington's Disease. In 2017 my husband and son passed away in the same week. Since then my mother thinks I am free to be her best friend. She has pushed her way into my social circle. She invites herself to activities I do with my friends. She copies everything about me. She has changed what she wears, the purses she carries, the activities she wants to do so she's exactly like me. When she lived on her own, she did her own thing and had her own style but now she wants to be my twin. If I do an activity without her, she expects me to do something with her the following day. She has spent the last 20 years doing nothing but going to beauty appointments, watching tv, and eating. Because of choices she made back then, she now has heart failure and mobility problems. Yet she thinks she can do much more than she's capable of doing and expects me to figure out "how" to work things out so she can do things that she's physically not capable of doing (i.e. going to Disneyland, going to concerts or sporting events with me that require lots of walking). She won't make any decisions anymore and asks me nonstop what she should do and gets mad if I encourage her to do what she wants. I'm still grieving the loss of my husband and son, trying to get my life back after taking care of them 24/7 but she wants to be with me constantly. She's so much work to take places because of her mobility problems and it's exhausting. I'm going crazy. YES, I've tried telling her I need space but she believes she is giving me lots of space which isn't true.