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Ego-dystonic sexual orientation disorder

C

cj.hamilton

Member
Joined
Aug 18, 2011
Messages
15
Location
Wimbledon, London (GB)
How could I have forgot this diagnosis given to me a fair few years ago?! It's having a sexual orientation or sexual attractions which go against one's idealized sexual orientation, causing severe anxiety and a desire to change one's sexual preferences, or repress them. Was diagnosed in 2008, and whilst I haven't officially been given the 'no you don't have this problem anymore' from a psychiatrist, I'm pretty sure I'm not bothered in the slightest about being a gay man anymore. Has anyone else ever been give this diagnosis or think they had/have it? I'd love to hear what you think about it. Personally, CBT helped a lot with this as well as making some new friends that did accept me for who I was.
 
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A

Apollon

Guest
Me... Welcome to the club.
One therapist considered me ego dystonic in views of sexual attraction...
In my case, whole thing was observed very superficial...
I'm asexual, that's my real orientation (or lack of orientation :) ), but I fall in love with guys often... So it's called gayromantic asexual orientation...
I feel anxiety, depression and anger whenever I fall in love with guys. Why's that happening, I don't want to elaborate here, because that's not the topic...
I think best way to deal with that diagnosis is to just let it go, to accept the facts...
That can be achieved through CBT...
In my country treatment of that diagnosis is conversion therapy - making you to be str8, not gay anymore... Pretty disappointing, so I stopped any work in that way... It's pretty useless in my case, since it really doesn't matter whether I'll fall in love with a guy or girl... It's not sexuality in it's real sense...
However, I'll never accept myself as feeling anything toward males, since I hate them all with whole my heart...
 
M

mrkmsn

New member
Joined
Dec 18, 2011
Messages
2
my phyc's tried but failed, tried this tacked when i was 14, it like i knew i was gay, but i didnt want my folks to know, as the doctors would tell them at this age, so i played the game as best i could till i was 19, and boy was that a good year lol

now bloody 31 ands it just down hill...
 
pentagram

pentagram

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 1, 2010
Messages
2,110
Location
Lake District
try being 58 and having a fucked up mind. I thought they (DSM111) had done away with all that sort of stuff in 1987.

but there you go, us gays are always there for some misguided psychiatrist to get their hands on and fuck us up some more.

if you want to read about what happened to gays in 1972 have a dip in either of my journals.
 
pentagram

pentagram

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 1, 2010
Messages
2,110
Location
Lake District
"the American Psychiatric Association finally agreed to depathologize homosexuality in 1973. Until that year, the association was relatively sanguine in representing homosexuality as a mental illness. The move to depathologize was fiercely resisted. Indeed, the outcome was only considered acceptable because Robert Spitzer, later made editor of the association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders in part for this act, came up with a compromise term that seemed to appease both sides: "Sexual Orientation Disturbance." Though the term wasn't formally adopted, it helped pave the way for subsequent discussion about "ego-dystonic homosexuality," which in turn struck many as pathologizing "homosexual arousal." In moving still later to an emphasis on "Gender Identity Disorder," the APA shifted the focus of attention (and supposed pathology) onto transsexualism, without losing much, if any, of the underlying, normalizing prejudice of its thinking."

from psychology today, http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/side-effects/201108/curing-homosexuality
 
E

Ego-Dystonic

New member
Joined
Sep 14, 2012
Messages
1
My sexuality is currently a mess. I'm pretty sure I was a heavy ego-dystonic around my 13 to 17 years old. I would try any way to change my sexuality. Since I've believed in homosexuality as being unpleasant in God's eyes, and that I would go to the hell if I didn't change it until mt death, I became depressed, tormented. But I was really young back then, and I had suddenly discoreved a bit of attraction for the opposite gender. However, I was still sexually attracted to the male physical no matter what, yet I've insisted on fighting against my sexuality in any possible way. In facts, the fight has brought me really torment times even though I was mostly fine, since I was convicted about my beliefs. The problem is that I was going crazy at times, and even my family whose never has suspected my sexuality has being concerned about my mental health, since I could easily get lost or inattentive when fighting against my own thoughts.
Since 2011, I started bit by bit, getting knowledge about my sexuality - I used to hardly believe that I was straight - it was rough, pretty rough. I was being highly tormented by my own feelings, being disgusted of myself but at the same time desiring to manifest my sexuality somehow.
I think I get completely aware that I wasn't straight in this year (2012). But when I started accepting the fact that I wasn't straight, strange things has happened in my mind. I feel sexually attracted to the male physical, but I'm not really attracted to its genital organ, but mostly for the female genitalia. I've been fantasied men with the female genital organ instead of their natural organ. I've find myself to be mostly attracted to guys with pussy than biological men or women. There are some FTMs (female to male transgender) whose are sexually attracted to biological guys, but they're mostly rare, since a FTM is supposed to be primarily attracted for women, but you can still find "gay FTMs" around the world.
However, this is a very rare taste. I'm a rare kind of person as much as those gay FTMs. I've been feeling better about my sexuality since I've been accepting it, but I have no idea if I'm suffering from another kind of sexual disorder. Plus I still don't idealize myself as a gay. I can't accept that. I will probably back fighting against my sexuality.
Does everyone knows about those rare kinds of sexual attraction? Do I still suffer from ego-dystonic sexual disorder?
 
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