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ED Thoughts Tumbling Around Inside My Head

prairiechick

prairiechick

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How many calories are enough? How many calories are too much? How low can I go without slowing down my metabolism? How many pounds can I lose in a week? How many pounds can I lose before my therapist comes back from holidays? How much exercise is enough? How much can I do? And today is cloudy, gloomy, and cold, and I don't even want to step outside. I am feeling really low, don't want to do anything, eat anything, but I have 3 days until my weigh day, and I need to exercise and get off my big fat ass if I want to lose enough weight.
 
prairiechick

prairiechick

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Blisters on my heels are the only thing keeping me from over-exercising at the moment.
 
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Mastiff mom

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As far as I know around 1500 calories is a good number, eat a small amount every 2-3 hours. This will keep your metabolism moving and your hunger in check. Choose a lean protein, veggies, nuts and don't eliminate them but take it easy on the carbs. If you're unable to walk right now do a chair workout -- checheck you tube. Best of luck, I know it's tough!
 
prairiechick

prairiechick

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I think I am having really distorted thoughts about food and calories. Starting to get scared of food.
 
prairiechick

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I am obsessed. All I can think about is losing weight, and how much I can lose.
 
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Helena1

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Does your therapist know of your eating issues?
Do you think your restrictive raw vegan diet has spiraled and caused this? i think this as i used to be vegan when i had a restrictive ED and they said it was a way to restrict and that i needed to give it up to get better.
 
prairiechick

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My therapist doesn't know that I've become a raw vegan, but she does know that I have body image issues. I think that my raw vegan diet may be part of this, but I feel like the stress of not seeing my therapist for 3 weeks has escalated this. When I first started the raw vegan thing I still would go over to my parents place for dinner about once a week and eat whatever they served. I was also eating quite a lot of nuts, so I was getting a decent amount of fat in my diet. I thought I was doing really well. The neurotherapy was going well and I wasn't feeling depressed, but now that I have all this free time before classes start (Jan. 6) I kind of went into free-fall.

I don't think I am in a place yet where I want to give up my raw vegan diet. It's like a bit of a security blanket, because I can refuse my typical binge foods on the grounds that I am a raw vegan. It's like having those parameters makes me feel safe, and strong enough to resist the binge foods. I can't just have one cookie. If I eat one, I'll eat the whole bloody package in one sitting. It's just easier to say no flat out.
 
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Helena1

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hopefully when you start classes and therapy again it will resolve itself.
 
prairiechick

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Yeah, I hope so. But I'm not giving up being raw vegan.
 
prairiechick

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Not in a good space with food again today. I went for a 3 1/2 hour walk in the snow/freezing rain, missed lunch, and at 5:45 pm I still don't even feel hungry. I feel a bit hyper and giddy knowing that I have had so little to eat today.
 
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