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EDrecovery05
New member
(TW: Numbers, in case it triggers you)
Hey guys,
so I'm currently trying to recover on my own. I can't get professional help right now and I feel like I'm more comfortable taking matters into my own hands. I suffered from anorexia only a couple of months and I think I'm not too deep into my ED to help myself. Yesterday was when I actively tried to stop restricting and it was extremly emotional for me, but not really in a negative way, I was just overwhelmed because of how nice it felt that food was a taste instead of a number in that moment.
Now, I've read that it's completely normal but I've been experiencing a lot of mental hunger now and I find myself snacking on chocolate and candy quite often throughout the day. I decided to stop stepping onto the scale for now and I don't really have a specific goal weight for weight gain, but I remember being content with my weight considering my height when I first got into weight loss before I developed an eating disorder. Last time I checked my weight a few days ago, it was down a little. Maybe it's still my disordered way of thinking but I absolutely want to avoid going back to my pre ED weight because I was way way unhappier with my body than I am now.
Well, my problem is that I want to gain a bit and then maintain without falling into my ED spiral again. I'm sorry if this post is a bit everywhere, but I don't know how to approach it. I don't want to go from depriving my body of nutrients to stuffing myself at the slightest craving like I'm doing it now. I want to find a healthy balance and maybe build muscles, but I've lost my gut feeling telling me when I should be eating and how much is disordered or healthy or too much. I want to cut back on candy and late night snacking, but isn't that restriction too? Should I even count calories again? How much do you think is fine? How much snacking is too much? Is it okay to actively avoid eating after 7/8 pm?
Hey guys,
so I'm currently trying to recover on my own. I can't get professional help right now and I feel like I'm more comfortable taking matters into my own hands. I suffered from anorexia only a couple of months and I think I'm not too deep into my ED to help myself. Yesterday was when I actively tried to stop restricting and it was extremly emotional for me, but not really in a negative way, I was just overwhelmed because of how nice it felt that food was a taste instead of a number in that moment.
Now, I've read that it's completely normal but I've been experiencing a lot of mental hunger now and I find myself snacking on chocolate and candy quite often throughout the day. I decided to stop stepping onto the scale for now and I don't really have a specific goal weight for weight gain, but I remember being content with my weight considering my height when I first got into weight loss before I developed an eating disorder. Last time I checked my weight a few days ago, it was down a little. Maybe it's still my disordered way of thinking but I absolutely want to avoid going back to my pre ED weight because I was way way unhappier with my body than I am now.
Well, my problem is that I want to gain a bit and then maintain without falling into my ED spiral again. I'm sorry if this post is a bit everywhere, but I don't know how to approach it. I don't want to go from depriving my body of nutrients to stuffing myself at the slightest craving like I'm doing it now. I want to find a healthy balance and maybe build muscles, but I've lost my gut feeling telling me when I should be eating and how much is disordered or healthy or too much. I want to cut back on candy and late night snacking, but isn't that restriction too? Should I even count calories again? How much do you think is fine? How much snacking is too much? Is it okay to actively avoid eating after 7/8 pm?
