- Apr 29, 2018
So, today I drove away my only friend who was patient with me. I had one of my episodes and became angry with him about social media. Then I find I can no longer see his Twitter page. I panicked and thought he is angry with me. Then I finally confessed to him that I suffer from BPD. Then I went ahead and told him that I don't want to ever hurt him again (I am secretly in love with him) and hence I am deleting my WhatsApp account. I also framed my mail as if to hint obliquely that we should perhaps stop talking. Well he was all fine and said he isn't angry with me and told me to take care. But I don't know how to ask him about his deleted Twitter account without appearing like a stalker. Already I can see he has become formal. I intensely regret the fallout that has happened. I have lost the close friendship that we had. He will never trust me again and he will look at me differently. I have lost him and life doesn't seem worth living. If I could take a sleeping pill, I would take it hoping to never wake up again.