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Driving phobia

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violetmarisa

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Dec 12, 2017
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I am 25 and have never got my drivers license due to an unexplained fear I've had since I was very young. It severely impacts my life because I am a mom of a kindergartner and just makes everything I do 10x harder. I do get help from my family and bf but I always feel very guilty that they have to plan their lives around me. I really want the freedom of driving but I have never been able to take that first step, mostly in fear of faI lure or conflict. Does anyone have suggestions for overcoming phobias?
 
calypso

calypso

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I can drive and I am getting more and more wary of doing it. Its the fear that I will have an accident. I think you talk to many instructors and get one who understands you and can take it very slowly with you. Can your boyfriend take you to an industrial site on a Sunday where you can't possibly do any harm and just get used to sitting in the driving seat without doing any driving initially. If that is too much then start with just sitting quietly and imagining you are in a car's driving seat and feel your fear and face it slowly. I think with fears we tend to jump too far too fast and that sets up anxiety. So just take it VERY slowly getting used to being in the drivers seat initially.
 
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violetmarisa

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thank you! that's great advice, I do put a lot of pressure on myself which builds anxiety. Maybe if I try even smaller steps they will seem more achievable. I have an overwhelming fear of judgement which is partly why I don't want to drive, it puts me in a position where I can't predict how much control I will have. I am also terrified of causing an accident or being pulled over.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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i think you are very brave to even think about driving-i say that because i would be just to scared
just realised that last sentence probably didn't help much!

i just truly hope you overcome your fear and feel happy driving
you will get loads of support here
im really really glad you joined the forum

lots of love Lu xx
 
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violetmarisa

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thank you! sometimes I don't feel brave because it's such a normal easy thing for so many people, but i guess it would really be better for me to acknowledge my strengths and take driving one baby step at a time. I got my permit last year but honestly haven't driven since I got it and it's almost expired. I'm just frustrated with the lack in progress.
 
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calamityjen

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Oct 25, 2015
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I would suggest trying out a few instructors to find someone you gel with, someone who's good with nervous drivers and will help build your confidence. I speak as someone who has only just got their licence a couple of months ago, at age 34. I had a fear of driving for a long time, but it's something I need in a rural area. Just take things at your own pace :)
 
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violetmarisa

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Dec 12, 2017
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how did you find an instructor?
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Hi,
My dad taught me to drive, can your bf help you learn. You can do it it will take time.
We all make mistakes, don't worry.
I tried an AA driving instructor as well, they were good.
Hope you pass really soon.
Take care
 
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violetmarisa

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Dec 12, 2017
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thank you! I have had trouble finding instructors in my area. I need to make a more concrete plan with my bf I feel like, we always find reasons not to do it or he seems in such a bad mood sometimes I don't want to burden him any further.
 
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calamityjen

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Oct 25, 2015
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I googled 'driving instructor nervous driver' and where I lived, and someone came up. I guess I was lucky that there's a lot of instructors in my area (Somerset).
 
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