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Drinking Again

ninarose

ninarose

Active member
Joined
May 14, 2019
Messages
28
Location
North Carolina
I’ve been stuck lately. I went through a binge drinking phase after i was sexually assaulted and i haven’t let myself drink in excess since then. I discovered that I drank so much so I didn’t have to deal with the assault and the issues it brought back. I drank yesterday. I got drunk yesterday. I tried absinthe and i didn’t like it. I hate alcohol but I can’t say no when it’s offered to me. I want to self destruct I want to get drunk, I want to be oblivious to the world around me and to have an excuse for feeling so sad and empty. Sorry this is sad but I am stuck and lonely even though I have people in my life I know love me. I don’t want their love.
 
R_Sxo

R_Sxo

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2017
Messages
2,264
Hey :)

What stuck out to me here is that you "want to self-destruct". That sounds like you feel like you deserve this? That's not true at all! You can't blame yourself for what happened, because it's not your fault. You might be embarrassed, but what happened was something done to you against your will, and that cannot be your fault. Drinking might repress the issues, but they'll remain there until you counter them head on - going on like this isn't the best way of dealing with things, and the best thing you can do is talk to someone you trust about what happened. I know it might feel embarrassing, but it's far better than what you're doing now. And as much as you say you don't want your friends love, deep down you definitely do, and that's okay! Good friends won't judge you for what happened, they'll support you through this! Please don't keep punishing yourself for what happened!x

Much love <3
 
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