Dream of isolation

M

Muco

New member
Joined
May 30, 2019
Messages
2
Location
Norway
#1
Hello. At the time of writing this, I am at a psychiatric hospital, which is what lead me to these thoughts.

I am not used to being close to other people, as I tend to isolate myself and only really go out for a haircut once a year. I have been at this psychosis clinic for a few days now, and it's really difficult for me to be so close to others. Just knowing that there are others around makes me feel unwell. Not only is this situation quite difficult, but the psychologists want me to start taking it even further and stop isolating myself completely.

Thinking about a future with other people around me makes me both worried and sad. I just want to be alone, yet the professionals say it's bad for my mental health. In my opinion, being around others is bad for my mental health. The sheer stress alone is bad for my mind and body.

I also can't let go of how immeasurably bleek my future is going to be if I have to act in a way that's so unnatural for me. I feel very unmotivated to live a life that's completely out of line with my nature. I guess my main, reoccurring thought would be "can I ever be happy like this?"

I really don't know what to do. Should I go with what the psychologists are saying? Should I stand my ground about living differently from others? How do I even cope?

It's all just a mess really..