Dreading the anxiety

R

Raidy

Member
Joined
May 10, 2019
Messages
21
Location
Wicklow, Ireland
#1
Hi everyone,

Im not sure if I'm even posting in the right place. Im having a lot of anxiety over the last few days. I have a general anxiety disorder with agorophobia. I have had this for many years and am in a much better place than Ive ever been with the anxiety now. However there is another issue that comes along with it that is ruining everything for me, mostly my self esteem.

I developed a dependency on my parents. Mostly on my mother meaning that anytime they go out of town i experience intense anxiety. It's the kind of anxiety that is very hard to distract myself from. I feel horrible that everyone has to change their plans sometimes for me and I often feel like a little child who has to be looked after. When my parents go away my husband has to take time off work just so i won't be on my own.I think it's the fear of having anxiety when I'm on my own and not being able to cope ! Anyway, my mam and dad are going away for a few days and they're leaving tomorrow. I can't stop thinking about it and how i'm going to feel when they're gone.

This is a first for me, as i never discuss this with anyone else. I feel ashamed of how dependent I am on others. I'm not even sure what I'm looking for from this post, i suppose it would be nice to know that there are other people out there that are going through this.

Sorry for the really long post
x
 
C

Confusedandanxious

Well-known member
Joined
May 5, 2019
Messages
176
Location
Uk
#2
Hey. Just want you to know you are not alone. I used to panic when my were parents away incase I freaked out and needed them, or incase something happens with them and I'm not there.

When my mam was still here they started going out more and for longer periods (not for me). There were times I did freak out and could only phone them. This helped me massively as I was able to see that i could manage on my own and they were only on the other end of the phone.
My dad goes away on holiday on his own now and I manage it well. I still call him if I'm having an anxiety attack and that helps.

The worst thing they could have done was to cater to my needs. Which would have been for them to never leave our hometown so that I would feel safe.

If you never allow yourself to see that you can and will be okay on your own (even if a panic attack does happen), then you will never push past it. It really helped me.

So you could maybe try and have one day where your husband doesnt take a day off work when your parents are away? You could even rely heavily on this forum on that specific day to try and help you through it.
 
R

Raidy

Member
Joined
May 10, 2019
Messages
21
Location
Wicklow, Ireland
#3
Thanks for your reply, it's so helpful to know that I'm not the only one who feels /has felt like this. I totally agree with what you're saying, if my parents' enabled me then I would never know but then of coarse my husband stepped in. At one point i was trying to deal with this in therapy but felt like i just kept hitting a blank wall.I know that just doing it is the only way forward but i just can't bring myself to do it. When i was younger my mother was the only one i could really rely on to get rid of my anxiety. As a child it felt like she was majic but as i get older and realise it's only me who can fix it, it feels a lot scarier.
 

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