Downward spiral since wife diagnosed with Cyclothymia

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Pablo123

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Apr 8, 2018
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#1
Hi guys, I made a post a few months back regarding my situation with my wife. Basically she was diagnosed late last year with cyclothymia (possibly bipolar 2) after pushing for answers for years. She had noticed herself that she was manic. After some digging I found out that she’s bought a horse, wasn’t paying the rent on our property or tax etc. She’d even considered admitting herself to the hospital, but everything that occurred was kept from me.

She changed suddenly and decided she wanted to ‘do it on her own’ and I was basically shut off from her. She’d met a group of younger people around 17/18 year old and they became her new social group. We just turned 30. There’s one lad particularly she’s spent a lot of time with every single day and still does to this day. She even openly admits being with him at the moment but doesn’t express it to our children or others that I know of. We obviously live separately now and the last few months have been hell with a lot of back and forth between us. There’s even been confusion as to her feelings for me. We both brought up personality disorder in a conversation where she was approachable and she agreed that she fit the description but wasn’t interested in another diagnosis as it would just be another title.

There’s a whole load more to the story of events but generally I am just eager to see if anyone has had similar experiences or knows of any ‘answers’ that would be useful. I’m the only one who’s foolish enough to engage in serious conversations about things with her and time to time it works but we’re still in the same scenario. I thought maybe hypersexuality was playing a part but she can recognise her symptoms? So BDP seemed a more likely avenue to pursue, however from what I’ve read about it, it doesn’t fare well for the likes of me who have spent my whole life with her and have such huge feelings for her only to be dropped in a flash.

I look forward to any thoughts or opinions whatever they are....

Many thanks in advance
 
calypso

calypso

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#2
Hiya Pablo. I have no answers for you but your description sounds quite severe bipolar to me but we can't diagnose on a forum obviously. No awareness of symptoms is classic in the manic phase and if there were people would often try to prevent the more wacky situations we get into.

Does she get any help with her situation? I have a good pdoc (psychiatrist) who gives me meds on as low a dose as I can get away with and also recommended therapy to me which hwlped immeasurably.
 
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Pablo123

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Apr 8, 2018
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#3
Hi calypso.
She seeked help when she knew she was out of control before Christmas. This lead to the diagnosis and she started medication. As far as I know she is still taking the meds and only recently got them to a stable level where she seems more herself personality wise. Before then she seemed really phased out and was unapproachable. She had shut everyone off including family and friends. Only after a conversation I had with her explaining that she wasn’t herself she spoke to doctor and agreed that this doseage should be reduced a bit.
The confusing part for me is that she has answers for everything as if she can pinpoint all of her behaviour, however she has mentioned on occasions that she feels trapped at an age where she had her first major episode which would be 18/19 thinking back. And she keeps saying she feels like she’s two people, there’s two versions of herself and she doesn’t know which way to go with it. That said I keep telling her to seek further help but as we live in the UK our docs seem useless. She was prescribed meds and sent on her way. No explanation of the diagnosis or follow up meetings with her psychiatrist or therapy, to my knowledge anyway. Of course a lot of lies have been involved so I can only go by what she’s told me.
I’m still trying to get her to speak to someone and she says she will but I’m convinced this is only to suit what I want to hear at the time. Feels like she’s never going to really see sense until she speaks to someone qualified. It is a frustrating scenario!