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Door slammers give me violent thoughts

T

The_Sun_Shines

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 20, 2020
Messages
84
Location
United Kingdom
Hi
I grew in a disfunctional family and my siblings would frequently fight with our parents. There was a lot of banging cupboards and slamming doors etc.
On a few occasions in my teens my older brother kicked my door to splinters to get to me. It was a real mad house.

I have realised over the years a repeating issue I have with neighbours.
As much as I’d like to have my own detached house I never have. And there’s always been a next door neighbour beside my flat, or above or below, in every place I’ve been in, who slams doors.

When this happens, I have extreme thoughts of violence. It’s an immediate reaction and I often say out loud “F**k up!” or “Shut the f**k up!” or “Stop f**king slamming doors!” etc.

In the past I have retaliated by slamming my own doors to return the annoyance.

One of my more recent neighbours took the hump at me just because I didn’t say hello to his relative. This stupid little man got it into his head to purposely annoy me as an act of revenge.

One morning he started repeatedly slamming a door in the landing area very loudly. When I opened my door to see who it was he was outside my door staring at me. He was clearly trying to provoke me into a fight.

The most irritating thing about this, is that the only reason this stupid little man was testing me, was because he was tight with neighbours all around and figured me for a loner, after about a year and a half of eves dropping every time he passed my door.
I’m a trained martial artist and I could literally mop the floor with his face in an instant, but because of the circumstances, with his “connections” and me being alone, I just stood my ground and decided against beating him to a bloody pulp.

I’m now in another place and as usual new neighbours have moved in and just like the ones before them they are slamming doors loudly and often.

When I hear this sound my brain takes it as a threat, or as a sign of aggression, even though they may just be thoughtless in doing it, I see it as a provocation - all the more now after the last neighbour.

As soon as I hear a door banging, especially more than once in a short space of time, I start having violent thoughts, such as wanting to sink a claw hammer into the person skull, or wanting to blast them in the face with a shotgun, or just wanting to beat them with my bare hands.

I would feel extremely uncomfortable having to ask someone to stop slamming doors when it literally takes like 1 brain cell to not do it in the first place. So I dont want to talk to such people about their stupidity.

Any tips on how I can not feel this way when morons slam doors?

Thanks
 
E

EclipticNight

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2020
Messages
408
Location
Orleans vermont.
That my friend is PTSD. I have it as well. I've never been able to control the violent thoughts, only do my best to ignore the person or ask them to stop. If it gets to bad you could always call the police.
 
ht46

ht46

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
2,349
Location
Kokomo
Door slamming triggers my paranoia I think it's a sign people are aware of my thoughts and are trying to start a fight, I have some proof of this I have watched neighbours stand beside their car slamming the door one time he was putting a lot of force into it was aggression, my best technique for dealing with is put on head phones or earmuffs or go some where. It's important to not retaliate I have when agitated gone outside to see whos slamming, slammed doors myself aswel or when it catches me off guard it just makes aggressive start swearing and looking out the curtains but don't if you instigate anything even if you win the fight it can open up a world of legal issues and involving your landlord if you rent. Some quotes which get me through these situations ill say "hatred, the only thing that lasts" in my head and try and brush it off, mutter swear words to myself, also a lot of the time I start feeling on edge before a door slams so I can sort of predict it it feels like so once they it seems know they cant catch me off guard they slam out of frustration when I predict it. But thats kind of delusional schizo stuff feels real for me though. One tip that gets me through these confrontations is "its never over until you say it is" which means to me I choose the end of our dispute not them slamming the door then I acknowledge and distract myself. Its hard to explain.
 
R

RayHendrix

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 21, 2021
Messages
128
Location
Austria
I get angry by a variety of sounds as part of misophonia I guess. Maybe talking to a therapist is a good idea or exposure therapy. I think trying it by yourself might be difficult but you could give it a try if going to a professional is not an option. But I am sure there are many people with the same problem who overcame it, so I think you will find many experiences sooner or later when you keep searching ;)
 
T

The_Sun_Shines

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 20, 2020
Messages
84
Location
United Kingdom
I get angry by a variety of sounds as part of misophonia I guess. Maybe talking to a therapist is a good idea or exposure therapy. I think trying it by yourself might be difficult but you could give it a try if going to a professional is not an option. But I am sure there are many people with the same problem who overcame it, so I think you will find many experiences sooner or later when you keep searching ;)
I also remember there was a scumbag screw in prison who took a dislike to me because he heard me call another (officer) a “screw”. He was a short fat headed toad faced little scumbag with stupid grey haircut in a middle parting.

He would open my cell door, give me a dirty look and then slam it.

Because it was a steel door, it made a very loud noise. He would also open and slam shut the door viewer slide too.

He’s one my top list in my head of people I’d like to end.

So yeah that was another slamming memory that triggers me too.
 
T

The_Sun_Shines

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 20, 2020
Messages
84
Location
United Kingdom
Door slamming triggers my paranoia I think it's a sign people are aware of my thoughts and are trying to start a fight, I have some proof of this I have watched neighbours stand beside their car slamming the door one time he was putting a lot of force into it was aggression, my best technique for dealing with is put on head phones or earmuffs or go some where. It's important to not retaliate I have when agitated gone outside to see whos slamming, slammed doors myself aswel or when it catches me off guard it just makes aggressive start swearing and looking out the curtains but don't if you instigate anything even if you win the fight it can open up a world of legal issues and involving your landlord if you rent. Some quotes which get me through these situations ill say "hatred, the only thing that lasts" in my head and try and brush it off, mutter swear words to myself, also a lot of the time I start feeling on edge before a door slams so I can sort of predict it it feels like so once they it seems know they cant catch me off guard they slam out of frustration when I predict it. But thats kind of delusional schizo stuff feels real for me though. One tip that gets me through these confrontations is "its never over until you say it is" which means to me I choose the end of our dispute not them slamming the door then I acknowledge and distract myself. Its hard to explain.
Yeah my brother would be quite like that. My situation as a young teenager was always walking on eggshells or my brother would interpret any action as a hostile provocation. My sister was the worst door slammer on earth.
 
T

The_Sun_Shines

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 20, 2020
Messages
84
Location
United Kingdom
That my friend is PTSD. I have it as well. I've never been able to control the violent thoughts, only do my best to ignore the person or ask them to stop. If it gets to bad you could always call the police.
Hi
No I wouldn’t call the police. I don’t like police.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
18,993
Location
England
I have a neighbour who slams doors, when I was in hospital I couldn't sleep because nurses slammed doors.
I do sympathise, it is very triggering.
I try to listen to music to calm me and if very bad call your crisis team.
 
A

Alexander Ypsilantis

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 3, 2020
Messages
1,120
Location
USA
Hi
I grew in a disfunctional family and my siblings would frequently fight with our parents. There was a lot of banging cupboards and slamming doors etc.
On a few occasions in my teens my older brother kicked my door to splinters to get to me. It was a real mad house.

I have realised over the years a repeating issue I have with neighbours.
As much as I’d like to have my own detached house I never have. And there’s always been a next door neighbour beside my flat, or above or below, in every place I’ve been in, who slams doors.

When this happens, I have extreme thoughts of violence. It’s an immediate reaction and I often say out loud “F**k up!” or “Shut the f**k up!” or “Stop f**king slamming doors!” etc.

In the past I have retaliated by slamming my own doors to return the annoyance.

One of my more recent neighbours took the hump at me just because I didn’t say hello to his relative. This stupid little man got it into his head to purposely annoy me as an act of revenge.

One morning he started repeatedly slamming a door in the landing area very loudly. When I opened my door to see who it was he was outside my door staring at me. He was clearly trying to provoke me into a fight.

The most irritating thing about this, is that the only reason this stupid little man was testing me, was because he was tight with neighbours all around and figured me for a loner, after about a year and a half of eves dropping every time he passed my door.
I’m a trained martial artist and I could literally mop the floor with his face in an instant, but because of the circumstances, with his “connections” and me being alone, I just stood my ground and decided against beating him to a bloody pulp.

I’m now in another place and as usual new neighbours have moved in and just like the ones before them they are slamming doors loudly and often.

When I hear this sound my brain takes it as a threat, or as a sign of aggression, even though they may just be thoughtless in doing it, I see it as a provocation - all the more now after the last neighbour.

As soon as I hear a door banging, especially more than once in a short space of time, I start having violent thoughts, such as wanting to sink a claw hammer into the person skull, or wanting to blast them in the face with a shotgun, or just wanting to beat them with my bare hands.

I would feel extremely uncomfortable having to ask someone to stop slamming doors when it literally takes like 1 brain cell to not do it in the first place. So I dont want to talk to such people about their stupidity.

Any tips on how I can not feel this way when morons slam doors?

Thanks
I hated living in apartments for this reason. In the USA we have a lot of apartments with thin walls and floors. I don't like loud noises for the same reason you don't, I came from a dysfunctional family with a lot of quarreling and fighting. Loud noises still make me jumpy and nervous.

I'd look for a new place if I were you. I was never able to get around it until I rented a house. Since then, I have peace. If you stay there, sooner or later you'll have a confrontation or an emotional breakdown of some sort. I know people who that happened to who were also sensitive about loud noises.
 
E

EclipticNight

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2020
Messages
408
Location
Orleans vermont.
Hi
No I wouldn’t call the police. I don’t like police.
After you said this I read the prison story lol. Honestly I cant blaim ya one bit. Slamming the cell door would drive me insane, i have no idea how you didn't mess him up at all. You have some serious self discipline. I'd of flipped out like 3 times in. Question if i may? What's a screw mean in the context you used?

Only one solution really comes to mind and that's live somewhere remote. Easy to say and nearly impossible to just get up and do. Maybe have something you can take violence out on? I shoot a bow at styrofoam coolers, it can be relaxing. Claw hammer a piece of firewood? Just tossing ideas.
 
Ladyfair

Ladyfair

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 12, 2020
Messages
1,687
Location
USA
I feel for you, people that slam doors and make noise upset me as well. My friend lives in an apartment and her neighbors do the same thing. She can't move and has mental health problems. Having your own home is great but expensive too. Im sorry you have to deal with this crap.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
20,847
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
After you said this I read the prison story lol. Honestly I cant blaim ya one bit. Slamming the cell door would drive me insane, i have no idea how you didn't mess him up at all. You have some serious self discipline. I'd of flipped out like 3 times in. Question if i may? What's a screw mean in the context you used?

Only one solution really comes to mind and that's live somewhere remote. Easy to say and nearly impossible to just get up and do. Maybe have something you can take violence out on? I shoot a bow at styrofoam coolers, it can be relaxing. Claw hammer a piece of firewood? Just tossing ideas.
i can answer this

prison officer

historically prison officers would tighten screw on things prisoners used to have to turn, which made it harder for them to turn the thing

that earned them the nickname screws
 
Talula67

Talula67

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 23, 2020
Messages
117
Location
United Kingdom
Hi
I grew in a disfunctional family and my siblings would frequently fight with our parents. There was a lot of banging cupboards and slamming doors etc.
On a few occasions in my teens my older brother kicked my door to splinters to get to me. It was a real mad house.

I have realised over the years a repeating issue I have with neighbours.
As much as I’d like to have my own detached house I never have. And there’s always been a next door neighbour beside my flat, or above or below, in every place I’ve been in, who slams doors.

When this happens, I have extreme thoughts of violence. It’s an immediate reaction and I often say out loud “F**k up!” or “Shut the f**k up!” or “Stop f**king slamming doors!” etc.

In the past I have retaliated by slamming my own doors to return the annoyance.

One of my more recent neighbours took the hump at me just because I didn’t say hello to his relative. This stupid little man got it into his head to purposely annoy me as an act of revenge.

One morning he started repeatedly slamming a door in the landing area very loudly. When I opened my door to see who it was he was outside my door staring at me. He was clearly trying to provoke me into a fight.

The most irritating thing about this, is that the only reason this stupid little man was testing me, was because he was tight with neighbours all around and figured me for a loner, after about a year and a half of eves dropping every time he passed my door.
I’m a trained martial artist and I could literally mop the floor with his face in an instant, but because of the circumstances, with his “connections” and me being alone, I just stood my ground and decided against beating him to a bloody pulp.

I’m now in another place and as usual new neighbours have moved in and just like the ones before them they are slamming doors loudly and often.

When I hear this sound my brain takes it as a threat, or as a sign of aggression, even though they may just be thoughtless in doing it, I see it as a provocation - all the more now after the last neighbour.

As soon as I hear a door banging, especially more than once in a short space of time, I start having violent thoughts, such as wanting to sink a claw hammer into the person skull, or wanting to blast them in the face with a shotgun, or just wanting to beat them with my bare hands.

I would feel extremely uncomfortable having to ask someone to stop slamming doors when it literally takes like 1 brain cell to not do it in the first place. So I dont want to talk to such people about their stupidity.

Any tips on how I can not feel this way when morons slam doors?

Thanks
Hi Sunshine
Whilst reading this I realised it could be me writing this , I related to it so much.
I too have PTSD and slamming doors (amongst other things) can trigger violent thoughts and I do believe it stems from my upbringing and the relationship with my father and ultimately with men right throughout my life.

I live in an apartment and my bedroom /headboard backs on to the landing.

I managed to buy some draft excluder foam that cushions the door when people are in and out and helps abit!

Thanks for sharing 😊
 
I

itsmeagain

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 25, 2010
Messages
902
Location
england
Hi
I grew in a disfunctional family and my siblings would frequently fight with our parents. There was a lot of banging cupboards and slamming doors etc.
On a few occasions in my teens my older brother kicked my door to splinters to get to me. It was a real mad house.

I have realised over the years a repeating issue I have with neighbours.
As much as I’d like to have my own detached house I never have. And there’s always been a next door neighbour beside my flat, or above or below, in every place I’ve been in, who slams doors.

When this happens, I have extreme thoughts of violence. It’s an immediate reaction and I often say out loud “F**k up!” or “Shut the f**k up!” or “Stop f**king slamming doors!” etc.

In the past I have retaliated by slamming my own doors to return the annoyance.

One of my more recent neighbours took the hump at me just because I didn’t say hello to his relative. This stupid little man got it into his head to purposely annoy me as an act of revenge.

One morning he started repeatedly slamming a door in the landing area very loudly. When I opened my door to see who it was he was outside my door staring at me. He was clearly trying to provoke me into a fight.

The most irritating thing about this, is that the only reason this stupid little man was testing me, was because he was tight with neighbours all around and figured me for a loner, after about a year and a half of eves dropping every time he passed my door.
I’m a trained martial artist and I could literally mop the floor with his face in an instant, but because of the circumstances, with his “connections” and me being alone, I just stood my ground and decided against beating him to a bloody pulp.

I’m now in another place and as usual new neighbours have moved in and just like the ones before them they are slamming doors loudly and often.

When I hear this sound my brain takes it as a threat, or as a sign of aggression, even though they may just be thoughtless in doing it, I see it as a provocation - all the more now after the last neighbour.

As soon as I hear a door banging, especially more than once in a short space of time, I start having violent thoughts, such as wanting to sink a claw hammer into the person skull, or wanting to blast them in the face with a shotgun, or just wanting to beat them with my bare hands.

I would feel extremely uncomfortable having to ask someone to stop slamming doors when it literally takes like 1 brain cell to not do it in the first place. So I dont want to talk to such people about their stupidity.

Any tips on how I can not feel this way when morons slam doors?

Thanks
Just move house. Away from the vile cretins.
 
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