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Don't want to be alone anymore

D

Drippity

New member
Joined
Feb 28, 2021
Messages
4
Location
London
Hi,

I've been feeling alone for almost 4 years. I have friends but I don't know how I can talk to them about mental health without sounding like a huge loser, I don't mean to offend anyone with this but this is how I feel.

Last time I talked to my friends about mental health a lot of them suggested I try and find a girlfriend or get into a relationship. I've tried, but I've failed. I feel as though it's out of my capability to get into a relationship.

A lot of people don't know how depressed I am, I'm good at hiding it, i always make sure I look good before leaving the house, I never mention mental health in conversation.

Can anybody at all relate to this.

If it wasn't for lockdown I wouldn't be using this forum, I feel sick as im writing this.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
2,323
I think a lot of people just don't understand what it is to struggle with their Mental Health. Others may think they have all the answers and as such everyone should follow their advice blindly. I think everyone's struggles are unique, being able to talk about them without fear of judgement etc. can be beneficial in itself. What does everyone else think :)
 
D

Drippity

New member
Joined
Feb 28, 2021
Messages
4
Location
London
At this point I can only accept what I am. It's over for me. Thank you for reading this.
 
Book addict

Book addict

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Mar 20, 2020
Messages
121
Location
Leicester
Just because your friends don't understand what you are going through, doesn't mean no one else will. There's plenty of people on here for example, that can relate to what you are feeling. I wouldn't write yourself off just yet. :hug:
 
C

celticlass

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May 7, 2011
Messages
1,445
Location
Scotland
Well you don't say how old you are or, for example, if you are taking any treatment for your mental health. When we are on our own and not very well at times it is a lonely path. I feel it at times too and more so because of the pandemic and how it has restricted us. Please don't think it is over. You will find people here who are very willing to talk about mental health and life in general. I know it is helping me cope at the moment. So please stay and talk to us. Amongst ourselves we may be able to help you cope and get a bit better.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Messages
21,881
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Hi Drippity,
Please seek help, talking to your dr will help.




If you’re thinking about suicide and are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number (i.e. in the UK call 999, in the USA or Canada call 911, in Australia call 000 and in New Zealand call 111) or call the international emergency number of 112.

If you have been affected by the contents of this thread and would like to speak to someone about your feelings you can call one of the following helplines:

In the UK and Ireland, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123.
In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14.
In New Zealand, the Need to Talk service is on 1737 or 080017371737.
Other international helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org.
 
C

Cl0uds

Active member
Joined
Feb 25, 2021
Messages
32
Location
Scotland
I relate. Having to put up a façade for the sake of your family and friends is exhausting and unhelpful. Being open is challenging but useful. Even if it's telling your feelings on a random online forum to a bunch of strangers :)

It's incredible how many people are secretly suffering, yet it creates a community greater than what we're aware of, so we can't possibly be alone although our minds tell us we are. There's someone for everyone, and there's plenty of people here who are with you.
 
D

Drippity

New member
Joined
Feb 28, 2021
Messages
4
Location
London
It's essentially the shame of it all. At 22 I feel like I'm too old too have these problems. I was never depressed during my teens or childhood. When I went to uni I felt powerful.

The people around me know me to be strong and if I'm not I can't bare to think how they'll look at me.

This is me admitting how I feel for the first time and it honestly doesn't feel right.

After going scouring through websites and learning more about the world I know it's a dire situation, you can't change destiny. Some people aren't meant to be happy.

The world a glorious place for those who are chosen to be blessed with success. For me it's an uphill battle, all the odds stacked against me. It's unbearable
 
A

Alexander Ypsilantis

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 3, 2020
Messages
1,653
Location
USA
Hi,

I've been feeling alone for almost 4 years. I have friends but I don't know how I can talk to them about mental health without sounding like a huge loser, I don't mean to offend anyone with this but this is how I feel.

Last time I talked to my friends about mental health a lot of them suggested I try and find a girlfriend or get into a relationship. I've tried, but I've failed. I feel as though it's out of my capability to get into a relationship.

A lot of people don't know how depressed I am, I'm good at hiding it, i always make sure I look good before leaving the house, I never mention mental health in conversation.

Can anybody at all relate to this.

If it wasn't for lockdown I wouldn't be using this forum, I feel sick as im writing this.
On the other hand, look at it this way-the lockdown has forced you to network online and find a group of people who share your affliction. What better way to share your frustrations than with a group of people who understand where you are coming from?

When you get lemons, make lemonaide. You are here among people who understand what Depression is, they deal with it every day. You can share your experiences here and people will respond with experience and knowledge. That's a good thing.
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

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Feb 6, 2021
Messages
1,341
Location
Punta Gorda, Florida, USA
"You can't change destiny. Some people aren't meant to be happy."

"For me it's an uphill battle, all the odds stacked against me."


For you, I try to figure out what cognitive distortion this is--mainly to help myself in catching myself from having these negative thoughts.

Here's the link I use: Cognitive Distortions

This might be the cognitive distortion of Polarized Thinking (or “Black and White” Thinking):

In polarized thinking, things are either “black-or-white” — all or nothing. We have to be perfect or we’re a complete and abject failure — there is no middle ground. A person with polarized thinking places people or situations in “either/or” categories, with no shades of gray or allowing for the complexity of most people and most situations. A person with black-and-white thinking sees things only in extremes.
 
C

Cl0uds

Active member
Joined
Feb 25, 2021
Messages
32
Location
Scotland
There's nothing to be ashamed of. Issues like this tackle everyone, at any age, it's a part of being human. I've learned that it doesn't weaken who we are. It makes us more empathetic, understanding, it opens our minds and hearts to the world, and that's pretty wonderful.
I offend older people by complaining that I'll be 23 this year and how old that is. But it's not!
There's still more time ahead of you, you're not expected to have everything together by this age (unless you're a Kardashian) or there won't be room for much else to do. And that's the fun part, there's so much else.
 
C

celticlass

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May 7, 2011
Messages
1,445
Location
Scotland
Well you know depression comes for all sorts of reasons. I don't know you see - for example, you say you at this point can only accept what you are. What are you? Can you say? I was stuck in a marriage that did little for me for many years. I would not leave for sake of my kids. Then I fell in love with a woman and I had to think about it lol! So that was my bisexuality coming out if we must label it. I made that my cue to leave my husband. Life has been much harder for me from that point. I am true to myself now and that is important. Owning who I am. So I hope you come back and try to talk this through.
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 6, 2021
Messages
1,341
Location
Punta Gorda, Florida, USA
I was reading an article just now, and it mentioned that you should focus on finding the "causes" of your depression rather than finding the "reasons." I'm still trying to understand this subtle but important distinction.
 
D

Drippity

New member
Joined
Feb 28, 2021
Messages
4
Location
London
Thank you for all of your advice, it's helped me in absolutely no way. I really hope everyone on here gets better, if God exists he must have heard my prayers by now. And again thank you.
 
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