• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

dont tell my friends about my problems

H

HodakaYN

Member
Joined
Sep 14, 2020
Messages
18
Location
N England
i dont like to talk about my problems to friends. i likd to think about them and act on them. if i tell someone a problem, im looking for advice. but my problems are complex and happened in the past, and i cant change them. or they cant be solved, at least for now, as im in limbo until i get more info about them. i dont know if people like that i do it, and maybe arent as open with me because of it. but also i feel bad. its not nice stuff to talk about. and i want to be a positive person who can fix their own problems. i know its not right to think like this but it feels so wrong and guilty to share my problems
 
Rex Smith

Rex Smith

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 30, 2020
Messages
478
Location
San Diego
i dont like to talk about my problems to friends. i likd to think about them and act on them. if i tell someone a problem, im looking for advice. but my problems are complex and happened in the past, and i cant change them. or they cant be solved, at least for now, as im in limbo until i get more info about them. i dont know if people like that i do it, and maybe arent as open with me because of it. but also i feel bad. its not nice stuff to talk about. and i want to be a positive person who can fix their own problems. i know its not right to think like this but it feels so wrong and guilty to share my problems
I wouldn't bring up any topics where you're seeking advice from someone that's unfamiliar or has limited knowledge about it. You wouldn't ask complex mathematical problems with a literature major.

If you want to open up about yourself and provide a better understanding about your conditions is something both parties can have a conversation about. Primarily with you being asked questions and providing them answers. Just be cautious because not everyone is accepting towards it and can have an negative impact towards you.

So you shouldn't feel it's wrong or guilty for not sharing.
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
4,525
Location
England
I don't like to share them either, they are so private. I feel free to write on the forum though, because people here probably understand and don't overreact either. I don't get shallow replies. I just like to vent mostly, but feel happy that some people might be reading and relating.

It is ok to be practical and independent. Some of us like to sort things our ourselves, in our own time. Some people like to read and google, not relying on someone else's opinion. Even the opinion of a counsellor, it is just a person too, who may not have it all figured out either.

We do though need a person too. You don't need to tell everything to your friends, or details, but you can tell them something. You have to choose carefully who to tell and when.
 
D

Daringdan

Well-known member
Joined
May 8, 2020
Messages
207
Location
Louisville, Ky
Its good that you are sharing with us as much as you have. Having some kind of dialogue open, albeit a vague or reserved one, can help to emotionally normalize these problems so that you don't feel as alone and it can lessen the pain or discomfort of your issues.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
1,617
When dealing with our own problems, we are limited to our own views/insight. We don't always have the balanced answers, or sometimes even the right answers. However the same can possibly be said about others' too. Finding the right people with the right qualities are often key, it may well take time to find the right person/people, or perhaps a trusted Professional could be the way forward. Hope this helps :)
 
Top