Dont know what to dooo!

[halflife]

basically i have 5moths left of college and i am seriously not coping!

I am so far behind on my work...I have no motivation and my social anxiety makes it extremely difficult when asking for help with assignments and it's seriously stressing me out I just dont feel bright enough anymore...

yesterday I was at my friends and I started panicking really badly and before I knew it I was screaming very loudly then crying and shaking uncontrolably for about an hour! this resulted in me getting veryy drunk all day to block everything out and now my best mate probably thinks im nuts! great...

Also, 2 weeks a go I took an overdose because I was getting so stressed out about having to face people everyday...I hate the feeling of dread I get every morning and the fact that I cant even sleep now makes it worse because im up all night thinking about it!

I know that I really should just quit college as its having a serious affect on my mental health but it seems like such a waste! and im scared i'll just get even more depressed with nothing to do and I have interviews for university next month.... but if im like this in college I know i'll never cope in uni!
I honestly dont know what to do
I know I only have 5months left but that can feel like an eternity when depressed.
any advice?
x

 

[SimonB]

Hey...don't quit!

I went through a similar experience when I was at polytechnic studying engineering [BEng], got to my final year and felt diffrently also had lost interest but I didn't know at the time it was depression.

Speak to your GP and speak to your tutor, you can get everything put on hold if you do it right. This buys you time to come to terms with the way you feel.

It is easy to loose inspiration and focus when you feel like this.

Get everything deferred if you can......and then focus on you for a little while.

 

[halflife]

Im going to see my GP Monday so hopefully he'll give me something that will actually help a bit!

and as for my tutor, she's the stone cold, no feelings type or person.I have indeed talked to her about my problems a few times and actually broke down crying infront of her twice but I just get this feeling that she really dislikes me! after all im not really a 'model student' as you can imagine my attendence is quite bad as my social phobias been getting a lot worse lately.I dont think shes the type that understands mental health issues...and just see's it as an excuse...

I should really go to the college counsellor but im scared! having to tell someone my problems face to face scares me.

ahh what to do

Thanks for your advice
x

 

[SimonB]

Its tough but you have to make some decisions here, whether your tutor likes you or not has nothing to do with your depression and how its affecting your studies.

You need to see your GP and tell him about your experiences and your studies. Your tutor [irrespective of whether she likes you] has to act if you are depressed and unable to continue at the moment. If your relationship with her is so bad speak to someone else...but talk you do need to do.

It would be a shame to waste your studies because of a tutor who has no insight!

 

[Ainsworth]

Halflife, you told someone, several times (who you think doesnt like you and is unfeeling) your problems, the college counsellor is a person who does care, its why they do that job.

think about it matey, you have spoke up before, maybe just to the wrong person, so you can do it again. and the counselling will be confidental

goodluck i know its all scary

 

[sallyG]

dont give up...when i was your age i was studying to be a nurse..i got through my years of training only to leave six weeks before my finals...ive regretted it ever since...see your gp..talk to him and tell him how you feel..x

 

[iffybob]

Hi

Yes you are going to the GPs... good, I hope they can help you ..

But do go to the collage counciler , make use of what is available to help you get through this as soon as possible , the longer you leave it the harder it is , and just thinking about and not acting can make it seem worse...

... good luke .. boB ...

 

[halflife]

Hello again

Thanks for the replys

my doctor has put me on prozac...not sure what that will do for anxiety as I've read that its just for depression? oh well have to wait and see...

Also i have decided not to go back to college...but i have to take back some equipment that i borrowed im so anxious i feel like im gonna faint! x

 

[SimonB]

Hey its great you saw your GP, its a start.

Prozac, known as fluoxetine, it should start to take the edge of things a little! You need to give a few weeks to have full effect.

Have you left college for good?

 

[halflife]

....

my Doctor was very helpful felt so much better after seeing her...

Yes, i just wish i had a bit more patience...never been my strong point

Well im not sure whats gonna happen with college, Im gonna ring them tomorrow and explain that im leaving...the worst thing is i feel like im letting everyone down, including myself! but I just had a good chat with my mum and we both think its best that I get myself better before continuing with anything like a nervous wreck!

ahh things can only get better from here...I hope

 

[SimonB]

Hmmm its a difficult one, but sounds like you and your mum have a plan, and thats the main thing.

Its important that you don't see this negatively, sometimes the positive thing to do is take away some of the things that stress you for a while and see how you go

If you can defer a year would that help? Or would all be too daunting knowing that you have to return?? Anyhow, theres no hurry, I did my degree in a hurry without thinking if I was suited to it properly, when the big D hit it all paled into insignificance.....now I'm a nurse...far removed from the world of engineering.

Sometimes theres a great pressure on us to get on in life, when the best thing to do is take it steady for a while

Keep well and keep posting

 

[Meredith]

Just some food for thought

I know how you feel about the whole depression/college thing. I've got five quarters left as well and I'm about to go nuts. I'm snapping at people, I'm taking my frustrations out on the horses that I work with. I was about to pack up all of my stuff, sell what wouldn't fit in my car and take my pissed off butt back to Tennessee. But then I went and talked to some of the office staff and found out that I could take a non-medical Leave of Absence for up to six weeks. I decided to take off four weeks, three weeks of LOA (less make up work to do later) and one week Spring Break. I'm already feeling better about everything because I know that I'm going home for a month to be away from the idiots that I'm surrounded by. I've just got to make it through the next week.

I know that you've already dropped out of school, but you should have talked to a counselor to see if you could have taken some time off to get your life straight. Just getting it set up to leave for a few weeks has brightened my outlook on life. Can't wait to see what the actual break does for me.