Dont know what to do

B

Blueplanet

New member
Joined
Apr 7, 2019
Messages
4
Location
London
#1
I split from my partner last year after they had an affair. I was broken and devastated, just didn't see it coming.
We have a nanny but she is more like family. I leant on her heavily and she was a massive support to me at this time despite dealing with a recent health diagnosis herself. I wasn't expecting it but just months on I met someone amazing. We have now been together for 8 months and I couldn't be happier.
Problem is my babysitter/friend is not happy. She keeps going quiet and distant on me and has expressed concern at the situation. She also has mentioned feeling hurt when I went (in her eyes) quiet on her when I met my partner.

Last week I knew she was dealing with a lot in terms of her health and the fact that she feels anxious about me. I told her that I wouldn't need her to babysit the morning she was due to come round. She was not happy and said if I didn't want her to help anymore I only had to say. I told her that wasn't the case but we would see how she was feeling after Easter and see if she was in a better place emotionally. Her final text to me was to say that she couldn't have done anymore for me than she already has. I said I knew that and that I hoped I knew how grateful I was, she didn't reply. My child loves her and I just don't know how to deal with it from here. Is it coming across like she has underlying mental health issues? Please help.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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#2
Hi,
Welcome to the forum
It could be physical health problems, she obviously loves her job and is worried maybe you don't need her as much anymore.
It could be you two got very close and she doesn't want to be apart from you.
Take care
 
B

Blueplanet

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Joined
Apr 7, 2019
Messages
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Location
London
#3
She has been quite open about the fact she is concerned about the situation between me and my partner as well as the health worries. She just seems very angry and I don't know why or how to approach it next.
Of course now I have a partner I can't be as emotionally involved but that's not my fault. 😐
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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#4
Hi,
It really isn't your fault, maybe she's jealous.
I'm glad you've found someone, hope things work out for you.
She's maybe angry that your not with her as much, hopefully she will calm down and accept your new partner.
Take care
 
B

Blueplanet

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Apr 7, 2019
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Location
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#5
She has said she feels hurt and used in the past as I was contacting her almost daily but then stopped when I met my partner. But it was just the way things went. Obviously I couldn't keep that level of contact up with a girlfriend
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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#6
Hi,
It isn't your fault, you needed someone at that time. You haven't used her, maybe she has some issues of her own surrounding feeling abandoned etc by people in her past.
Take care
 
B

Blueplanet

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Joined
Apr 7, 2019
Messages
4
Location
London
#7
I do think there is a mental health problem there. I didn't use her despite what she says.