S
sunny71
Member
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2009
- Messages
- 15
hello there
Im new here and dont really know where to start -but how i feel today is how i feel most of the time.I cant tell people,especially family because they put me down without realising and dont understand.
I come across as bubbly and people,employers think i will go far in life because ii work hard,do things for other people.
Without blowing my own trumpet im told im attractive but i never accept compliments and feel ugly most of the time.The main problem is i dont go out anywhere outside my comfort zone- eg-i had a wedding to go to today which iv been dreading for weeks.It caused arguments with my mum coz i didnt want to go. I couldnt face people,scared of how i smile,walk,dance and think people are talking about me..
I have family over from abroad and scared to death of meeting them.I make myself ill at the thought.I dont go out with my husband except 2 walk the dog and go to the shops. When i do make the effort to go anywhere,im exhausted afterwards with the worry,anxiety of going.Im fine at work except i cant talk in front of groups of people.Im scared of failing so i chose a job i know i can do. I do things on impulse-like i may get up in the middle of the night and decide to iron or decorate.
My husband is a recovering alcoholic, my dad was a heavy drinker and was verbally abusive,always put me down,was very strict,i could never go out,couldnt have boyfriends so i left when i turned 18. Then i was bullimic.
I get on like a house on fire with my dad now but i have all these issues- i mean this was 20 yrs ago!!!
I cant have kids and love my dogs to death and feel they are my only companions i want to be with. I have disowned my friends on purpose,idont feel i need them.I dont want any friends or see family except for my mum n dad.If i see a car outside my parents i drive past.
I get annoyed with myself for being like this so i isolate myself from everyone,yet i can still go to work.im in retail so i face people everyday.I sometimes take painkillers,toget through the day. ionly take 4 at the most in a day because they are strong and make me feel good.
I have history of depression &Iv been on antidepressents but i dont want to go down that road again.i havent told my gp how i feel lately.
Help-is there somet wrong with me or am i being daft?
thanks somuch for any advise.
Im new here and dont really know where to start -but how i feel today is how i feel most of the time.I cant tell people,especially family because they put me down without realising and dont understand.
I come across as bubbly and people,employers think i will go far in life because ii work hard,do things for other people.
Without blowing my own trumpet im told im attractive but i never accept compliments and feel ugly most of the time.The main problem is i dont go out anywhere outside my comfort zone- eg-i had a wedding to go to today which iv been dreading for weeks.It caused arguments with my mum coz i didnt want to go. I couldnt face people,scared of how i smile,walk,dance and think people are talking about me..
I have family over from abroad and scared to death of meeting them.I make myself ill at the thought.I dont go out with my husband except 2 walk the dog and go to the shops. When i do make the effort to go anywhere,im exhausted afterwards with the worry,anxiety of going.Im fine at work except i cant talk in front of groups of people.Im scared of failing so i chose a job i know i can do. I do things on impulse-like i may get up in the middle of the night and decide to iron or decorate.
My husband is a recovering alcoholic, my dad was a heavy drinker and was verbally abusive,always put me down,was very strict,i could never go out,couldnt have boyfriends so i left when i turned 18. Then i was bullimic.
I get on like a house on fire with my dad now but i have all these issues- i mean this was 20 yrs ago!!!
I cant have kids and love my dogs to death and feel they are my only companions i want to be with. I have disowned my friends on purpose,idont feel i need them.I dont want any friends or see family except for my mum n dad.If i see a car outside my parents i drive past.
I get annoyed with myself for being like this so i isolate myself from everyone,yet i can still go to work.im in retail so i face people everyday.I sometimes take painkillers,toget through the day. ionly take 4 at the most in a day because they are strong and make me feel good.
I have history of depression &Iv been on antidepressents but i dont want to go down that road again.i havent told my gp how i feel lately.
Help-is there somet wrong with me or am i being daft?
thanks somuch for any advise.
