• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

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Candigirl23

New member
Joined
Mar 24, 2015
Messages
1
I have been diagnosed bipolar for about 5 years I think. I have been highly successful in past careers. I have been married 10 years and have two beautiful daughters. I have had issues with depression and mania. The worst was a couple years ago... I was working in public safety. I made great money and had amazing benefits. One day my husband was offered a promotion, but we would have to relocate. I jumped at the opportunity! I quit my amazing job, sold our house and moved. Things went bad FAST! I somehow spent all our money from the sale of the house... 20,000.00 I can't be real sure where it all went. I decided to go to beauty school. I thought it was very clearly the best thing for me to do... I have no idea why... Because I wanted to 15 years ago... My husband's job went bad and we ended up moving home. We lost our nice vehicles, had to file bankruptcy. Many times I wanted to quit school, but my husband continued to support me. I did end up finishing school, but now I hate working! I am nervous all the time. I hate to just sit at home. I am restless but I have no idea what to do about it. I hate to give up on the beauty industry already given how much time and money we have spent. Is this a issue with Bipolar? Is it normal for someone with bipolar to feel so conflicted? Take something you were so good at and throw it away, then be dead set something else was such a great idea only to end up hating it later? I feel like I can not make any decisions right now because I will only hate the outcome or realize how wrong I was in the decisions I have made. How can I be a good example for my kids if I can't stick to anything. Has anyone else felt this way? What did you do?
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
I'm not diagnosed with bipolar, so I can't really come at this from a complete understanding.

But I have experienced a rush of enthusiasm for a new project/course/way of being and signed the dotted line, only to find things not working out in the long term.
For me I get that similar sense of restlessness - though I also get a sense that I "should" be doing something in order to be a useful human being, which means I put myself under that extra pressure.

I don't mean to be nosey, but are you under pressure to support yourself financially? I can see that if you need to work for the money, these changes in enthusiasm and drive could be a problem.
I receive benefits and so luckily it isn't quite so problematic for me.

With regards to what you said about being a good example to your children, I don't think you should be too harsh on yourself.
I actually think that to an extent, it's really good to get out there and explore lots of different avenues.
It helps you 'find yourself' in a way and it gives you really rich experience.

Anyway, i'm sorry I don't have anything helpful to say in terms of actual advice.. I just wanted you to know that I understand the struggle and do think it's a part of mental health issues, and that you shouldn't beat yourself up too much.
 
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