• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Don't have any relationships

U

unknown

Member
Joined
Dec 17, 2009
Messages
23
I'm a complete failure with people. I grew up isolated, got bullied at school and haven't had any friends in nearly 10 years.
I've been clinically depressed for a couple years, but the treatments don't give me any friends or a life. I moved back home with my dad and he's a nightmare, but he's all I have and I imagine he won't be around many more years.
I'm trying to pre-empt the abyss of loneliness that faces me, but I can't get on with people.

I do get out a little, I go to a weekly dance class and a weekly boxing class, I'm a 'full-time' student (for all of 6 hours a week), but I don't click with anyone and I hate not having anyone pleasant or supportive to talk to, that isn't paid to talk to me. The therapist has been doing some intro to CBT stuff; recording my thoughts when I struggle most in my dealings with other people. It usually revolves around me getting pissed off because someone did something I didn't like. I stop liking people very easily and feel really embarrassed for liking someone when it doesn't work out like I want it to. For example, the only person I know that I'm attracted to showed up to the dance class with what I assume was her boyfriend, and I felt butterflies in my stomach.. I was so embarrassed for buiilding it up in my mind that I liked her and then.... she already has someone... someone that knows how to talk and be normal.
I've had a single fling in my entire life and have never had an intimate relationship ever.
I really worry that if I don't meet someone that I'm gonna end up alone and just end being more depressed than ever. Bad situation for someone that seems to be pretty unappealing.

Does CBT help with relationship/emotional problems?
I feel like I should get out and meet more people, but the lack of motivation, tiredness and fear of doing new things, that my thought patterns will make unenjoyable, is difficult to overcome.
 
trombone_babe

trombone_babe

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 15, 2009
Messages
1,191
Location
Kent
Hi unknown, :welcome: to the forum. I know how you feel, I've always felt 'on the outside looking in'. Can I ask, how old are you? I'm guessing quite young.
 
T

telemetry9

Guest
advice isn't great

I don't have any great advice but it sounds like you are at least living your life. Be thankful for what you have already as you are doing things that other people might find impossible - ie.college/socializing.

Don't be so hard on yourself and give yourself some praise and self esteem. Have the courage to believe in yourself more - you deserve that.

There is a quote that helps me a lot. "the possible is what you want to do - not what you think you should do."

Don't try to predict the future as from my own experience it's quite often the case that it is nothing like what we anticipated. Enjoy your dad while you have him every day and count that day as a blessing.

best wishes
robert.
 

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