- Jul 12, 2011
So recently I've been thinking about how I've failed at life .................. i'm 27 now and I feel stuck in my situation financial / work / personal I use to get myself through it by going if it ever gets really bad you can just kill yourself and it will be over (Nice, eh!) I'm fed up of not knowing what's wrong with me - GP's in general don't seem to care, or just label everything anxiety (which I'm not denying - I do have anxiety) and I don't want to have anything but I know I do ...... because the things I think / do can't be normal. I was self harming recently (so embarrasing), and even though i'm really mild mannered and like getting along with people I hate the way some people treat others, Rude, Obnoxious, i've been thinking to myself - the next person who is rude to me is getting thrown to the floor and their head stood on. I drove to a hospital on christmas eve and just sat outside in a secluded part of the hospital playing with things that could harm me I left them to one side and went in to the hospital to walk around, Christmas Day I was back and ended up seing a police van and going up to the officer and asking for directions. I know they say people who talk about suicide are looking for attention etc and maybe I am but I genuinely think new years day this year would be a good date to go 01/01/2015 (it's got a nice round figure to it (and at 27) i'd say it's a good age .... not young - not too old.
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