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Don’t want to be here tomorrow

  • Thread starter Mrs Tiggywinkle
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Mrs Tiggywinkle

Mrs Tiggywinkle

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Such a difficult day today and I can’t see me improving any time soon. Added to my personal struggles is the fact that my son has some form of OCD and is continually swearing at me and is taking control of our house, things like laundry. I did it today and he rang me up from home...I was shopping which was a great effort for me to do. I thought I was doing well and my mobile rang as I’d gone to get washing tablets which he wanted amongst other things. He said “I’d fucked up the laundry” as I’d put underwear with towels. I thought it was just tea towels that was the issue. That was so lovely to hear from him as he put the phone down on me. After I got home after an altercation he proceeded to do it all again including the dry clothes that were near to the wet laundry. :doh:

Not nice to hear when I’d personally made extra efforts to see my gp and get a referral for counselling today (very hard for me and crying my eyes out in the surgery). I really want him and his girlfriend to leave as he’s making my life a complete misery and is only because we care that he’s still living with us. I do feel for his girlfriend. He’s nearly 23 and not paying rent.

As I’ve said in the title...I don’t actually really want to face tomorrow as the crap just starts all over again. His OCD is something new to me and I can’t help thinking that it’s my fault that he’s the way he is. I don’t even know him any more and he always takes his anger and frustration out on me. I worry for him, but it seems I always get the full brunt and he manages to be mostly civil with everyone else it seems. Being a caring mother I do worry about him and I’d much rather go through it myself than see him suffer in this way.

That being said he is a little shit quite a lot of the time with me, but it can’t be easy for him having to endure the way his mind works.

Your thoughts please on my dilemma?
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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I think you did the right thing getting him a doctors appointment, he does need help with his OCD :hug:

:hug:Does his girlfriend have her own place or does she still live with her parents? I think him moving out even if temporarily to give you a bit of space might be helpful to both of you, tbh, if its possible (its not being selfish its knowing your own limitations)
 
H

Helena1

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Why cant you let him do the laundry, sounds like it could do with doing some thing round the house. Does he do it wrong or something?

What else is he particular about?
 
Mrs Tiggywinkle

Mrs Tiggywinkle

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Thanks midnight....the gp referral is for me for my depression, sorry for the misunderstanding. I just hope it’s not my doing the way he is, both me and my husband are very understanding people and I feel good parents. I honestly don’t know where these OCD tendencies have come from. It breaks my heart. :low:
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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Thanks midnight....the gp referral is for me for my depression, sorry for the misunderstanding. I just hope it’s not my doing the way he is, both me and my husband are very understanding people and I feel good parents. I honestly don’t know where these OCD tendencies have come from. It breaks my heart. :low:
ok could he get some help for his OCD? It does sound like he needs it :hug:

and you needs some loves so heres some :loveshower:
 
Mrs Tiggywinkle

Mrs Tiggywinkle

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Why cant you let him do the laundry, sounds like it could do with doing some thing round the house. Does he do it wrong or something?

What else is he particular about?
He is doing the laundry, it’s just it was piling up a bit and I thought I’d put a white wash on and I wish I hadn’t. I’m not working at the moment and he does work, so I thought I was doing something useful.
 
Mrs Tiggywinkle

Mrs Tiggywinkle

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ok could he get some help for his OCD? It does sound like he needs it :hug:

and you needs some loves so heres some :loveshower:
I think he does midnight....he had some counselling a couple of years ago for it. I will maybe broach the subject with him about having it again?
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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He is doing the laundry, it’s just it was piling up a bit and I thought I’d put a white wash on and I wish I hadn’t. I’m not working at the moment and he does work, so I thought I was doing something useful.
i must admit he would hate my house if he was here, i never sort through the washing it just all gets stuffed in the washing machine all together no matter the colour cause otherwise i would be saving up one colour and never washing another colour, only exception is work clothes :redface:
 
Mrs Tiggywinkle

Mrs Tiggywinkle

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I think you did the right thing getting him a doctors appointment, he does need help with his OCD :hug:

:hug:Does his girlfriend have her own place or does she still live with her parents? I think him moving out even if temporarily to give you a bit of space might be helpful to both of you, tbh, if its possible (its not being selfish its knowing your own limitations)
His Girlfriend doesn’t have her own place.
 
Mrs Tiggywinkle

Mrs Tiggywinkle

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Midnight....if he only thought like you regarding the laundry...it would make my life so much easier. :hug1:
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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what i mean is one colour would get saved up and another colour would forever be in the washing machine

its not like everything turns barbie pink in the washing machine :hidesbehindsofa: :D
 
L

Longtermbolloxed

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I think explain exactly your situation and how you feel and have a genuine heart to heart with him.

When I lived at my mothers she did everything in the house for me and I did take it for granted but I would never try and put her down. If she had ever sat me down and talked to me about something I was doing that hurt her I would feel guilty and try to understand.

Let him know that you love him but you feel he doesnt treat you nicely and that you would like him to move out with his girlfriend for a while and speak to someone about his OCD as you cannot keep living like that. Once you say it in a heartfelt manner and do not have a fight with him im sure he will take it on board.

All the best to you x
 
D

DC1

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Evidently you must complete the washing before you go out or it will get a second wash. He is able to swear at you because you are in such close proximity. Can you help him/them to move out into a place of their own, either by chasing it up with the council or by putting a deposit on a rental flat?
 
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