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Does this make me weird?...

M

misingno

New member
Joined
Jun 18, 2009
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right, i dont know if this makes me weird, or personality flaw or what... im hoping you can help me?...

every so often, ill get irrational urges to touch something, anything that might be near me. once ive thought about/seen the object i have to walk over and touch it with both hands, not so much to coress it, but to put my mind at ease that i just touched it. It has to be with both hands, and they both must touch things with the same ammount of force, otherwise one will feel heavy. this is the same with walking, or going down the stairs. i have to alternate feet to they get each step evenly, and end by jumping off the last step landing on both feet. other times, i get very anxious, for example when they announce whos evicted in big brother. during the time it takes for the outcome to be announced, i must touch an object, or do something with my body, such as cracking equal fingers on each hand, or standing up then sitting back down... stuff similar to that. i cannot stand for volume to be left on odd numbers. equally, if im walking down the street, and get my irrational urge, ill go to length to cross the street to touch it, or double back on myself a few feet. once ive had concious thought about the thing it NEEDS to be touched, or crack my fingers on it, it drives me crazy! i feel that everything must be equal. i dont like turning round in one direction more times than turning in the other, often finding myself taking the course of most effort, just to satisfy my "equallness"

. ... can anyone help me on this?... thanks
 
A

Apotheosis

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I have heard lots of similar things. It's like some OCD type stuff. But people do very similar things. I think it has to do with the way we are, & the way our minds work - our minds work on pattern recognition, I think this has to do with a superstition kind of thing - that things will be right/go well, if we perform certain actions. As a kid I had this similar thing that I had to touch things in a certain way, with a sequence of finger taps a certain number of times, it wasn't major, when I was around 11 I had this one night that I had to keep getting up & doing this with a picture above the bed, for hours - I stopped this habit after that.

Later on I used to get this thing as a teenager that I had to walk on a specific side of lamp posts, & other obstacles in the street, it was random, but my thinking has been partly influenced by right & left path esoteric ideas.

Present day, the only thing I have is checking when I leave the flat. I have to check that all the plug sockets are off, & the cooker. It isn't just being safe - I know plugs are off, & the cooker is off, & I may re-check them 3 or 4 times. I go from room to room - checking. For maybe a few minutes.

People have foibles, It isn't major. I also think it has to do with the way the brain is wired - & it's similar to other superstitious type activities that don't make any rational sense - like lucky rabbits feet, 'touching wood', not walking under ladders, black cats etc etc, & could maybe even be carried further into having similarities to the compulsions with a plethora of religious rituals.

In part our survival is based very much on pattern recognition, & noticing things which are out of the ordinary, in our collective past that would have been something that told us a dangerous animal was around, or that some danger was present. But it can get overly developed - so we see such patterns where there are none, or no deeper meaning present. Like finding luck when wearing a certain tie, as an example, we associate certain objects or actions with beneficial outcomes - that's my thoughts on this anyway.
 
Last edited:
A

Apotheosis

Guest
Reading your post again - Would you not think that this behaviour is a physical manifestation, or a reflection of a desire & need for balance & stability in your life? - To have control over things which we cannot control? That is performing these actions it will make things OK? Much like in a similar way to a religious ritual, kind of thing?

Just ideas.
 
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