Does it never end?

K

Katss

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Apr 2, 2013
Messages
2,979
#1
So there I was looking out of a cafe window sipping soup and contemplating life suddenly just for a fleeting second it seemed as if nothing mattered, there were no worries, no big problems and actually felt ok happy even. Cut to seconds later and it's all anxiety ridden doubt again, what about the homeless? What about the refugees in Syria? What about the famine? The endless wars, the sick, what about those who can't afford to buy soup? and on and on it went. No longer just me sipping soup and staring idly out of the window contemplating the London traffic and passers by?

No it's like as soon as a situation or physicality is ok, I have to make it not ok? But why does this happen? Why is it seemingly impossible to be ok? Do I sabbotage stuff on purpose? Is it never going to be ok? Will it always be a bi-polar wilderness? A mood swinging horrid pendulum that never ever stops and gives or let's me have any peace?

Katss
 
J

Jim4120

Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2015
Messages
24
Location
Texas, USA
#2
Sometimes it can feel this way, especially dealing with the swings of bipolar. Up and down, back and forth, it seems like it'll never stop. But I think we have to be there for each other, and we have to continue to hold on tightly to the hope that, one day, we will be able to live our life, with or without the continued swings of the bipolar, in a way that allows us to be happy and enjoy our lives. I think this is 100% possible, and it's probably the only thing that keeps me going. Hope is the one thing that no one can ever take from you. It can beat the most exhausting battles, the most discouraging losses. Never lose hold of that.
 
K

Katss

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Apr 2, 2013
Messages
2,979
#8
Can always rely on a couple to give irreverent non replies. And thanks very to Jim and jruth for that, rass yes what is a mood? Though it's more than that the whole picture changes so rapidly and for the worse? That is very destabilising and scary not to say how horrid and upsetting that feels and is? Cpu if knew what "it" is or was it would not be an issue can't see how naming it helps .

Katss
 
cpuusage

cpuusage

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Sep 25, 2012
Messages
37,660
Location
Planet Lunatic Asylum
#9
Cpu if knew what "it" is or was it would not be an issue can't see how naming it helps.
i'm referring more to the ways we understand, deal with & approach our mental health. Is it a brain disease, you're mentally ill for life & not a lot that can be done except take pills & live with it all. Or is there more to it all than that?

Are there potential ways of addressing & dealing with things more fully?

i don't know exactly, & i think things are very individual - i was asking you an open ended question as to what you think the problem is?
 
K

Katss

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Apr 2, 2013
Messages
2,979
#10
Not being able to be ok and or 'happy' in any given situation, guilt, horror, sipping soup innocent enough and calm and ok for a few seconds then BHAM!!!! into the abyss of anxiety, tension, feeling horrid? Do I do it to myself? like self sabotage? And if so, why would one choose to self sabotage situations and or an ok mood? I certainly don't do it consciously or deliberately, I was enjoying looking out of the window contemplating the street, life and people watching, or, if it is an affective mood disorder, then one has to assume that outside situations affect me more so than is the so called 'norm'?

But then why would something as seemingly innocuous as sipping soup in a café on a London street send me into a spin, and off on a mood altering horror ride? What ever that means. don't know myself Cpu that is why am posting, so to see if anyone can help with the horror of it all?

katss
 
cpuusage

cpuusage

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Sep 25, 2012
Messages
37,660
Location
Planet Lunatic Asylum
#11
What ever that means. don't know myself Cpu that is why am posting, so to see if anyone can help with the horror of it all?
i have my own theories - that i've posted reams about on this forum, but i don't have categorical answers either - does anyone?

How much is it 'just' a medical/psychiatric condition - &/or how much other stuff?

i get what you describe as well - always have done - & have gone into all kinds of subjects to try & find an answer/resolution. Probably a lot going on at different levels.

i found it's helped recently to switch off to as much mass media as possible. Probably helps as well to limit screen time.

Case of keep taking the tablets & try & make the most/best of things - we're not here forever - we'll pass on one day, sooner or later.
 
BlueBerry

BlueBerry

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 13, 2014
Messages
1,261
Location
Edinburgh
#12
Katss, I know the feeling all too well. In fact many times I've been innocently sitting in a cozy little coffee shop when I suddenly go into some kind of mental/emotional tempest of horrible negative thoughts, images and ideas.

I have no idea how to control it or how to make it stop. Anything can set me off and it can happen anywhere at anytime. The mood swings and horrible thoughts don't seem to make any logical sense in their place or timing.

The quiet corner of a coffee shop seems like the perfect place to relax, or a nice walk outside or just sitting listening to relaxing music... but then the moods kick in again without warning anyway. It's so frustrating.

I wish I had an answer for you, but I don't. I think the best time I've been able to keep the moods and thoughts at bay was when I was really distracted by something interesting, like when I stumble across a really good book. But then it's only temporary relieve and it only happens sometimes.

I hope you have better luck finding an answer than me. Take care sweetie. xxx :hug1:
 
C

ChesireCat

Guest
#15
I'm very much like this. Yeah. I have nothing to do with the news anymore either because it only makes things worse for me. I've been trying really hard lately to focus on the positives because the negatives just way me down so much. I see the world as so cruel and want no part of it sometimes.
 
J

Jim4120

Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2015
Messages
24
Location
Texas, USA
#16
I have nothing to do with the news anymore either because it only makes things worse for me. I've been trying really hard lately to focus on the positives because the negatives just way me down so much. I see the world as so cruel and want no part of it sometimes.
I can definitely sympathize with this. I have felt this way so much. I try to just go out there, and make things better for everyone when I can. My bipolar disorder keeps me from doing this many times, and it in turn makes me feel selfish that I can't put aside my own emotions and help others out, because that's the greatest thing in life to me. I love making someone else feel good. The smile on somebody's face when you know they are grateful for something that you've done is an amazing thing, and I hope I never lose the ability to do that completely.
 

Similar threads