- May 3, 2010
- South England
I have been aware of my mental illness since about 4 years ago. When it first happened and I realised it was depression I was so ashamed. I hid it which made it worse. I did however go to the doctor who prescribed medication and after a few months felt on top of the world. Then about 14 months after that it hit again. This time I was not so ashamed of it and asked for more help (counselling). But my third and final attack came early December 2008. I deliberately delayed taking any medication and hence went into a severe depression lasting 3 months. During that time I was willing myself to die. I had no hope and was so scared of everything. I might add that I have a fantastic husband and grown up children who were very helpful but I know nothing would take away the excrutiating pain, especially mornings. My tablets started to work eventually and this time I am not coming off them! But over the last few days I have begun to feel scared again - not as bad as last time but I am so frightened that it will happen again regardless of the fact that I am on medication. I have upped my dosage but has anyone out there actually conquered this dreadful disease with the help of tablets or anything? Or is it a case of "once you have it, you have it for life"?