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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Does it always come back?

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tapdancer

Member
Joined
May 3, 2010
Messages
18
Location
South England
I have been aware of my mental illness since about 4 years ago. When it first happened and I realised it was depression I was so ashamed. I hid it which made it worse. I did however go to the doctor who prescribed medication and after a few months felt on top of the world. Then about 14 months after that it hit again. This time I was not so ashamed of it and asked for more help (counselling). But my third and final attack came early December 2008. I deliberately delayed taking any medication and hence went into a severe depression lasting 3 months. During that time I was willing myself to die. I had no hope and was so scared of everything. I might add that I have a fantastic husband and grown up children who were very helpful but I know nothing would take away the excrutiating pain, especially mornings. My tablets started to work eventually and this time I am not coming off them! But over the last few days I have begun to feel scared again - not as bad as last time but I am so frightened that it will happen again regardless of the fact that I am on medication. I have upped my dosage but has anyone out there actually conquered this dreadful disease with the help of tablets or anything? Or is it a case of "once you have it, you have it for life"?:confused:
 
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Mad Hatter

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 17, 2007
Messages
308
Location
Birmingham
Hi sorry to hear of your situation. I've suffered on and off for 27 years now, anxiety and depression. In my experience it comes and goes, right now not having the best of times myself. Some people overcome completely so don't give up hope. Right now make the best of your good days and on bad days remember you will come out of it. Good luck.
 
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tapdancer

Member
Joined
May 3, 2010
Messages
18
Location
South England
Thank you Mad Hatter (love the name!).

My daughter explained to me once in one of my very bad times that depression is like a roller coaster. You go up and then you come down and then up and so on. Thinking of depression like that in my darker days does actually help a bit knowing that "tomorrow" I may be on the up but if not, it will probably be the day after but in any event, it will go up at some time. Depression is not always about being gloomy and down in the dumps. It sometimes is about that sick scary feeling you get in the pit of your stomach that wont go away. With that quite often comes the feeling of "no hope" for the future which makes it all the more worse.

So sorry you are in that place at the moment. Have you tried "Meditainment"? Its a CD you can get from Amazon (yellow flower on the cover). Just find a comfortable place to lie or sit on your own and listen to it with your eyes shut. It helps me. Its very very soothing.

Good luck.:)
 

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