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Does Choosing To Be Happy Work?

L

LokiPokey75

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 1, 2020
Messages
675
Location
United States
Hi everyone,

Thank you all for your input on this. I know that I'm a depressed person and I asked this because I was trying to determine how much happiness I was foolishly denying myself. I can see now that I wasn't denying much. When it pertains to my mother, I realized that I didn't want to follow her advice because it wasn't solicited and I never felt validated in my own negativity. Now that I'm choosing happiness, I can see there's a limit to how much you can have without taking action to improve your life. I have to accept my situation and it looks like I can do so without losing both the pain and the hope inside me. It's a strange balance that I'm just starting to understand is possible. What I'm doing (or not doing), I have to continue...for now. And maybe one day, I will be able to do things differently. That knowledge is helping me deal with the unhappiness of the present, even as I struggle through it.

I appreciate all the feedback. Thanks again!
 
K

Kavaris_Valiant_One

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 17, 2019
Messages
999
Location
PA
Hi everyone,

Thank you all for your input on this. I know that I'm a depressed person and I asked this because I was trying to determine how much happiness I was foolishly denying myself. I can see now that I wasn't denying much. When it pertains to my mother, I realized that I didn't want to follow her advice because it wasn't solicited and I never felt validated in my own negativity. Now that I'm choosing happiness, I can see there's a limit to how much you can have without taking action to improve your life. I have to accept my situation and it looks like I can do so without losing both the pain and the hope inside me. It's a strange balance that I'm just starting to understand is possible. What I'm doing (or not doing), I have to continue...for now. And maybe one day, I will be able to do things differently. That knowledge is helping me deal with the unhappiness of the present, even as I struggle through it.

I appreciate all the feedback. Thanks again!
Depression is like the Well in the Ring. You dont be scared of it though, because its just sitting there, its just a Well. It might have something inside, but admire it. Thats where the depression once was. The well of happiness is out there, pouring with love. Just a matter of scooting about the forest. Finding one Well over the rainbow sometimes means theres another nearby.
 
ATARI

ATARI

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Joined
Sep 22, 2021
Messages
453
Location
south carolina
Hmm. . .

If Your Eternal Foundation Is Upon The Landscape Of Hope, Love, And Peace.

You're Choosing Over The Alternative Of Possible, Probable Failure. Sorry Not Sorry.

Pretty Much The End To All End's In Any Sort Of Honest Wisdom.

Good Luck!. . .:coffee:
 
Me Myself

Me Myself

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Joined
Aug 13, 2021
Messages
453
Location
USA
Choosing to be happy is easier said than done. I was in a special palace when I was finally happy. It also leaves the door open for people to tell others to snap out of it. Though, if you want to "choose" you will have to put in some foot work. Thats what my mother could never do. Not because she was depressed but because she thought I should suffer as she became some crazy creepy cult like spiritualist. A lot is gender related. When things were looking up for us she did her best to destroy things. It's the first time I ever believed people like my mom existed (she was not the only one). I sympathized with her as a depressed person who had a "rough" life. She wants me as a literal dog with her stans.
 
Me Myself

Me Myself

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Messages
453
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Also, but if you really aren't happy now and aren't being intentional about it the best thing you can do is let go and let it happen and not berate yourself too much. Appearances are appearances. If you are not a model you can still feel happiness. I finally did. :)
 
jajingna

jajingna

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Jul 31, 2020
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7,162
Location
Canada
I don't think you can choose to be happy any more than you can choose to be confident. You can fake it but that is not genuine and you'll feel like an imposter. But then again, people are acting all the time, pretending they are something they are not, so who knows, maybe you can get used to playing a role and it can begin to feel real after you've been playing at it long enough. Others can barely tell the difference most of the time, and they'd rather see the act than the real person.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
2,422
In my opinion two people could live the same lifestyle. One person may be happy, the other not so happy. I think a lot of things come down to perception and the ability to see beyond what some might see as impossible situations. I'd imagine it could be said that positive thinking is finding that silver lining in those clouds, not being defeatest and always striving to find a positive way forward. Unfortunately very little in life is given on a plate, many of us were possibly accustomed to having things done for us growing up which can build a expectation in life. I think in those circumstances it's easier to blame others for our downfall rather than take the bull by the horns and turn things around, or seek the support of others to facilitate positive change etc. The thing is the second we start making that effort our mood lifts as there's hope. If we look at things from a perspective of dwelling in self misery, versus hope and relentless striving to change things for ourselves, looking for the positives and the positive solutions which state of mind is likely to bring the more pain and suffering? Hope this helps. :)
 
S

Sarabi_Gyarados

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 20, 2019
Messages
305
Location
UK
I think radical acceptance and a realistic plan to move forward help the most. You don't need to think everything is great, sunshine and rainbows but also no need to think it's all evil and ugly either.
 
M

Mistral

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Joined
Apr 28, 2011
Messages
741
I think happiness is something that is a biproduct of the things you do. So just skipping the things that you do and trying to go straight to the happiness will not work.
 
LearntheEssentials

LearntheEssentials

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Joined
May 22, 2021
Messages
411
Location
Germany
Saying "im happy today" won't make you happy.
Just like loosing those pounds that always bugged you or getting a nice Six Pack or quitting smoking:
You have to fight yourself.
Every day. You have to force yourself to be happy, as weird as that sounds.

I did so and after a few weeks, i changed subconciously.
Sure, i still have very bad times regularely but i changed myself completely as a person.

So yes, for me it 100% helped

-LTE
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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2,422
I think there is always so much to be grateful for. Turning our thoughts to more positive things can help keep things more in perspective and help us to become more appreciative of things we might otherwise disregard. I think it also helps to uplift our mood somewhat...
 
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