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midnight

midnight

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does anyone self harm? I don't know why I do it but I only do it when I am an inpatient and am incredibly secretative about it.

Whats that say about me ?
 
daffy

daffy

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hi midnight, yes i do occasionally, its not too bad now and i think i ahve it under control as long as i dont get too depressed. Mine usually involves self harming of a specific area. Fortunatly its not too badly scarred but i do tend to keep it covered. There is only one person in my family that found out what i was doing.

It isnt the kind of thing you can just mention in a conversation, that why i think so many keep it a secret
 
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april

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This is one of the issues that I am now dealing with my daughter. I'ts hard for me to understand although I am trying to. I am really upset about it but I also know it's her way of dealing with things going on in her life. I haven't told her to stop as I feel it has to be her desision, she hasn't since I found out so hopefully it will get better. She has told me that it is a relief for her now that I do know as she is very open to me because of how I handled it. I know it won't just disapear, however she did get the idea from a mate at school apparently it seems to be the "in thing" at school to do.
It does seem to be very common amongst the younger generation. I know my daughter only self harms if she gets really really angry with herself. We are now working on other forms of behaviour to stop the self harm.
I personally don' t self harm unless you can call over eating self harm wich in a way is also not a good thing, or shall I say also a form of self abuse?
Take care Midnight I know from seeing what my daughter is going through how you must feel sometimes.
 
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midnight

midnight

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mines my left arm as well - there you go - snap. Mines scarred but not too visible as it as about 9 months since the last go at it which is good for me.

I used to do something alot and I have had that diagnosed as self harm too but for me I had voices telling me to do it - but hey I often can't remember clearly what was going on in my mind at the time. I just remember staring in the bathroom mirror and the reflection starring back telling me to do it. Not depressed just directed by others. I have not really explored this area of my issues too much as its too scary to re-live but my CPN said it was self harm.
 
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midnight

midnight

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Hi April,

talking about your daughter, I have a daughter a few years off secondary school but I was chatting to a friend whoes daughter is just starting and I think you might be right about some people doing it to follow the crowd - one of the cliques in my friends daughters schools are called the EMO's which stands for 'emotional wrecks'

I think if your daughter is doing it for a trend thing then its probably less deep rooted than if the desire if driven by her but if it is driven by her then you are doing all the right things I am sure. the only thing I would say is I know how upset my husband is when he sees my scars - I make every attempt to hide them becuase I don't like to upset him or even get him invovled its a private thing - even though he knows I do it I won't tell him when I have it will only be accidental if he finds out
 
A

april

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one of the cliques in my friends daughters schools are called the EMO's which stands for 'emotional wrecks'

THis is spot on at her school too. She is classes as EMO but diddn't know what it ment. Her whole dress style has also changed to suit the image. I don't really know if it is just to be in the In crowd, as it was by accident that I found the marks also on her left arm, but also on her legs. The most distressing for me is seeing the scarring.I know how your husband feels. I just worry that she may be suicidal. She says she isn't and she tells her psychologist she isn't and she wants to start taking her of her meds but I don;t think she's ready just yet. Only time will tell. Take care
 
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midnight

midnight

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April,

I am no doctor so any advice I give you is obviously to be treated as you see fit. I suppose the distinction is clearly is this a social inclusion thing ( if it is then my guess is you should be less worried - unless of course you feel that her friends could seriously misguide her)

However if you feel she really is depressed and I would guage that through changes in her personal behaviour - does she have friends and socially interact? (If she does my guess is that is not the behaviour of a seriously depressed person) Does she appear REALLY moody? I was depressed as a teenager and although we had a family history I did not understand these feelings or what they were and no-one talked to me about it. I was socailly isolated and so obnoxious even my mum said "I love you but I don't like you" I spent alot of time on my own and thats when I first started to self harm as the physical pain helped me deal with the emotional stuff. Looking back I was suicidal but I did not understand that either. I felt alot of pressure as a kid to do well - none of it was explicit just implicit by the fact that I have a ridiculously successful father who I am so proud of now I have made my own way but at the time became too much of a role model I felt I could never match up
 
A

april

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Hi Midnight

Well, my daughter was put on anti depresants before the EMO behaviour as she was being severly bullied at school as she has acne. I got her meds for the acne which has cleared up nicely but the bulling didn't stop. I was not aware of the bulling until she one day ran away from home because they had threatend her not to come to school the next day. I knew she was depressed as she was not sleeping and had lost a lot of weight from my experience of having depression I saw all the signs. My other half refused to believe it until she ran away. I had to involve the police with the school to get everything sorted out. Which it does seem to be. The EMO behaviour has only been in the last few months. My daughter does have friends and is very sociable which is good. I do still worry though as I'm sure any parent would.

Thank you for the advice it is really helpful, I think sometimes it's the depression and the growing up all mixed together sometimes. I know all that I can do is be here for her and tell her that I love her and hope she will make the right dicisions in life. I know as a parent I have done a good job the rest is now in her hands and if she falls I'll always be here to pick her up:)
Thanks again for the advice
 
midnight

midnight

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you are doing all the right things April, sounds as though you have been through the mill. I hope things settle out for your daughter in the longer term, I am sure that she will appreciate all you have done for her - good luck
 
A

AJS

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EMO'S

Hi all, my son is an EMO and he doesn't hurt himself at all so please dont assume that all EMO'S are "emotional wrecks" as you call them it actually stands for "emotional person" As for self harming its surprising just how many people self harm and dont realise that they are doing it. There are lots of ways of self harm, people who have numerous tattoos are a class of self harmers as are those who pierce various parts of their bodies.
Most of the people I have looked after over the years who have been self harming have had a traumatic life of some kind, finding the right path to help them stop is one of the most rewarding things that I have done in my life and will continue to do if I can.
Your not alone out there!

AJS :grouphug:
 
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M

Mad Hatter

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I damage my face every so often. Does t hat count as self harm?
 
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AJS

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Hello Mad Hatter
Why do you hurt yourself in the face? What leads up to that final event? These are the reasons you should be focusing on, then maybe you could find another way of releasing the anger instead of hurting yourself in this way.
I have had clients do different forms of self harm all of them had different reasons for this, one only did it when her father had visited her! another did it because of the voices telling him to (they told him he needed to be punished) and another couldn't speak and tell us what was upseting her because she had Huntington's, so she screamed at us self harming. After further investigations the poor lady was suffering from toothache so badly but she couldn't tell anyone because of her awful condition. So what i'm trying to say is that most people selfharm because of a reason!!
I hope you work out what your reason is a lay it to rest once and for all.
Happy New Year by the way. :grouphug:
 
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M

Mad Hatter

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I haven't got a clue why I do it, it's just sort of automatic. I'm full of hate and self loathing so that's probably it. Sorry for the late reply!!!
 
Tribe

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some of us self harm

:cry:
 
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D

Dollit

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I think there's a lot more self-harm about than anyone realises. I'd love to stop but after having been doing it for 35 years it's hard work. I've actually went years without doing something physical to myself but at that time I was drinking & using and that's just self-harm in a different form. My consultant is pretty clued up on self-harm and he says that we do it for different reasons but some people are just never able to stop. Currently I'm in that category and I don't want to be. I've tried everything - literally, every time a new technique or idea comes up I get told about it and nothing works. And it doesn't work because it doesn't make me feel the same as the self-harm does.
 
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