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does anyone with ptsd experience this?

M

mismatched

Member
Joined
Apr 20, 2020
Messages
10
Location
london
ok guys this may be triggering. im in the biggest crisis of my life my hallucinations became more and more graphic ive believed im god ive gone on telepathic missions im experiencing deep prophecy but losing my sight due to a glucose reaction which is so upsetting because im an artis. I went to a and e to check my vision my hallucinations were very stressful my heart rate and temperature went sky high I was sent to another ward I asked the nurse to check my mouth because I thought there was a snake in it I asked them to check if my tongue had fallen out etc etc I was told I was being silly an go back to my room things got so bad I cried myself asleep I was woken by a team of nurses screaming at me I was moved to ward closer nurses station I was grabbing wires sin bins light bulbs each time screamed at no one ever asked if I was okay or how I was feeling this went on till 4 in the morning I was moved to another hospital put on a drip locked in a room with a nurse for hours an told off 24 7 they wouldn't even turn away when I had a wee on the commode they wouldn't give me my own medication a nicotine patch a paracetamol or make a phone call. the alps psych team came they offerered no meds no therapy and no psych bed and sent me home with a letter saying I had no insight into my actions but posed no risk ro self harm??? they told me to speak with my psychiatrist so ive waited for three weeks for her to call. my symptoms are even worse. today I got a letter that ive been discharged. in the letter she said shed prescribed zopiclone she hasn't id begged her for 9 weeks. she said id refused psychological work but she had never referred me to a psychologist she said id refused to join a peer group id already told her id emailed the voice hearing network and they are now closed. she diagnosed me with emotionally unstable personality disorder. I don't think it fits. I have been with my partner 20 years I am never clingy I don't have a fear of abandonment I don't have anger or identity issues. yes I have suicidal thoughts but I think its natural in my circumstance I also have childhood trauma but I don't really dwell on it. I found my brother in later life he didn't grow up with me he had no history of trauma but he had same symptoms as me he was schitzophrenic and commited suicide three years ago. my dad had it and my maternal grandad also same symptoms but not diagnosed who killed himself when my mum was 9. she says theres no genetic link. she advised me to come off my olanzapine an antipsychotic completely. what the hell am I supposed to do? I feel like shes gaslit me big time
 
Zero One

Zero One

Well-known member
Joined
May 19, 2020
Messages
1,194
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United States
@mismatched ... They (the voices) tried the God one on me and that I am an angel, but they tricked my logic on the latter and I believed that they believed I was an angel which caused a lot of other beliefs. I have schizoaffective disorder but they initially thought it was Dissociative Identity Disorder. I have been a little off the wall with delusions but the things I felt as physical I kept them to myself because I didn't physically see anything to cause such pain although sometimes I could in my mind's eye. I never exhibited some of the behaviors you have but that is because I kept everything inside...which would sometimes lead to greater delusions so then I would talk to people and reality check. I would say to tell the psychiatrist you don't agree with the diagnosis and possibly give her your thoughts why and what it seems like to you. Childhood trauma has a part in so many disorders...I think, but I am not a doctor.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
13,016
Location
England
Hi Mismatched,
You really need an advocate who can help you complain and get better treatment.
Do a search for advocates free services in your local area some specialise in mental health.
There is a genetic link with schizophenia.
I'm so sorry about your experiences.
You are meant to wean of antipsychotics very slowly, might your Gp be able to help you?
Take care
 
M

mismatched

Member
Joined
Apr 20, 2020
Messages
10
Location
london
@mismatched ... They (the voices) tried the God one on me and that I am an angel, but they tricked my logic on the latter and I believed that they believed I was an angel which caused a lot of other beliefs. I have schizoaffective disorder but they initially thought it was Dissociative Identity Disorder. I have been a little off the wall with delusions but the things I felt as physical I kept them to myself because I didn't physically see anything to cause such pain although sometimes I could in my mind's eye. I never exhibited some of the behaviors you have but that is because I kept everything inside...which would sometimes lead to greater delusions so then I would talk to people and reality check. I would say to tell the psychiatrist you don't agree with the diagnosis and possibly give her your thoughts why and what it seems like to you. Childhood trauma has a part in so many disorders...I think, but I am not a doctor.
thanks yes I relate. im finding this episode so hard to navigate on my own with no support x
 
M

mismatched

Member
Joined
Apr 20, 2020
Messages
10
Location
london
Hi Mismatched,
You really need an advocate who can help you complain and get better treatment.
Do a search for advocates free services in your local area some specialise in mental health.
There is a genetic link with schizophenia.
I'm so sorry about your experiences.
You are meant to wean of antipsychotics very slowly, might your Gp be able to help you?
Take care
thanks yes im using an advocate service to file an official complaint. the psychiatrist has caused me psychological harm and refused me access to any help x
 
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