Does anyone understand what I'm talking about?

[Diana_99]

I've recently been diagnosed with type 2 bipolar disorder. Up until my diagnosis I could never find the words to describe how I felt. The only way I knew how to describe it were with colors. When I am in mania, the world is shades of gold and white. Everything is bright and beautiful, but as the colors start to change, so does my mood. I know when I'm sinking into a depressive episode because I start to see the world in light grays. Once I'm in dark blue, nothing can get me out of my depressive episode. But I'm frustrated! No one gets what I mean! They don't understand colors and the way things change. I just can't seem to articulate the colors well enough. Even here I am not describing them accurately. I looked it up, and apparently, this can happen. So, I guess my questions is: does anyone else experience this? Does anyone understand what I'm trying to say? No one knows how to handle my bipolar disorder. They don't understand that it's more than mood swings. No one understands the colors.

 

[Fairy Lucretia]

i just wanted to welcome you to the forum x love Lu x

 

[butterfly88]

(Random chatter- best to ignore it)

Why do the colors have to change? It only changes because you want it to change because you dont want things to change because you are afraid of change because you are afraid of being afraid of change because you are afraid of being afraid because you are afraid of your self.


Im just going a bit crazy, this forum helps me unload some craziness in a safe way.. Dont take me seriously. Welcome to the forum.

 

[EclipticNight]

I've got meds for my bipolar but even so I cant always control it. I often say if you take a look through my eyes when in mania is like seeing the image and behind it a saturated version giving it a brilliance. In depression it's more like seeing the world in grey scale. Colors are muted. I understand the colors but I've never mastered control of my bipolar.

 

[Bipolarbear808]

Hi Diana_99,

I'm sorry, I can't say I have ever experienced the world in terms of grays and blues. But, when I am in a really good mood the sun does seem to shine brighter. So I can kind of understand how that could affect your mood.

Have you ever heard of Synesthesia? It is a phenomenon in which our wires can get crossed and you can experience a multitude of different senses. I've actually heard or people being able to hear and taste color before. I'm not sure if its the same as what you might be experiencing, but I think it would be worth mentioning to your doctor. I hope this helps and that you're able to meet people that understand colors in the same way that you do.

 

[Garnia]

Yes, I’ve experienced this! For me when I’m happy everything is bright and super colorful. When I’m sad everything just seems grey. There are a ton of quotes about it, so I know it happens to other people as well. I know a lot of ppl will see red when they’re angry as well. You’re definitely not alone

 

[Bipolarbear808]

Yes, I’ve experienced this! For me when I’m happy everything is bright and super colorful. When I’m sad everything just seems grey. There are a ton of quotes about it, so I know it happens to other people as well. I know a lot of ppl will see red when they’re angry as well. You’re definitely not alone

Thats really interesting! When you say you see gray and red, is it like wearing gray or rent tinted sunglasses while you're having that emotion?

 

[Garnia]

Thats really interesting! When you say you see gray and red, is it like wearing gray or rent tinted sunglasses while you're having that emotion?

Not exactly, I’m sure it’s just how my emotional state perceives color at the time. It’s more of a subconscious thing. I don’t even really notice it at first.

 

[Bipolarbear808]

Not exactly, I’m sure it’s just how my emotional state perceives color at the time. It’s more of a subconscious thing. I don’t even really notice it at first.

Thanks for the explanation Garnia, I think I understand what you mean now.

 

[UpnDwn1978]

It's not colors but when I'm manic the world does seem to be a bit brighter and some people have a glow to them and I don't notice the ugliness and imperfections in things and peoples appearances. When I'm depressed the world seems a bit darker and faded and people becomes more pale and lose their glow and the ugliness and imperfections of my surroundings becomes more pronounced.

 

[Opalescence]

I have only had one (hypo) manic episode, but I definitely experienced something similar. Colors were more vivid and bright, nature could bring me to tears because it was so beautiful and colorful. People I loved had a bright white/golden shine around them. Also, sounds were louder and clearer.
It was amazing but at the same time I knew I wasn't my usual self because I couldn't stop talking, etc.
My usual mood is dysthymic. Everything is covered with a greyish veil. This gets worse when I am really depressed. Then the world feels distant and muffled.

 

[venusgarci]

I do! When youre manic is like things have a glow and colors are more saturated and everything is sharp. In depression things look foggy and blueish. Maybe you are sinestesic. I am a bit. Manic states also have sounds. Have you seen episode 3 of modern love? It's about a bipolar woman and the opposing colors are yellow and blue, for manía and depression.