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does anyone think they should be happy?

nutri

nutri

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does anyone think they should be happy?

if so, why?
 
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6ofusathome

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I look at my life. Wonderful hubby, 4 healthy young kids, close friends, supportive community, enough money, my dream house, deep faith. And yes I think I should be happy. But I am not because I am illness that prevents me from experiencing emotions appropriately...its called depression.

Do you think you should be happy? Or has your depression convinced you that you don't seserve happiness?
 
pepecat

pepecat

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No, I don't think I should be happy. Nor that I 'deserve' to by happy.
What does that even mean anyway? Where is this rule of life that says we should be happy, or we deserve to be happy?
It's unrealistic. Life is not like that. There will be times when we are happy, yes, but equally there are times when we wont be, because life doesn't work that way.

When I am happy, I'm grateful and thankful, but I don't 'expect' to be happy or feel I 'should' be, somehow.

I think a more important word is 'content'.
I can be content, but not happy. Happiness is a fleeting thing, I think, and the pursuit of it always leads to trouble, imo. Contentment is slightly different - it's about being ok with where you are, what you're doing, how you're living etc. So you can be happy, or angry or sad or whatever, and still be content overall.
 
nutri

nutri

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I agree with the 1st half of your post

I think a more important word is 'content'.
I can be content, but not happy. Happiness is a fleeting thing, I think, and the pursuit of it always leads to trouble, imo. Contentment is slightly different - it's about being ok with where you are, what you're doing, how you're living etc. So you can be happy, or angry or sad or whatever, and still be content overall.
so, do you think you should be content?
 
W

WillowOak

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I think it's nice to feel happiness, and to feel sadness and to feel anger and to feel. I think contentment and peace balance out a person in a way nothing else can.

I wouldn't use the word 'should' because it creates a resistance in the mind. It's healthier to be content than not content :)
 
pepecat

pepecat

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so, do you think you should be content?
As willowoak has said, 'should' is a very loaded term.

I am content, as it happens, but it's taken a lot of work and thinking and whatnot to get here.

'Should' becomes a stick to beat ourselves up with, if we're not careful, and we can end up feeling worse because we're not as content or happy or satisfied or whatever as we think we 'ought' to be or 'should' be. We compare ourselves to other people in similar situations to us and think 'well they're content', I 'should' be too.

'Should' can either be about 'everyone else is feeling / being like this' therefore I must feel that way too. But we can end up feeling disappointed that we don't feel as everyone else is and we wonder if there's something wrong with us, or are we doing something wrong somehow, and that's why we don't feel that way.

Or 'should' can be in terms of sense of entitlement - I 'deserve' or 'should' be content......just because.
If we feel that we're not getting what we think we deserve - contentment or happiness or whatever, that can also lead us to feel angry and frustrated because there's a gap between how we are feeling and how we think we deserve to feel.

Being content is about being happy with where you are - even though you may not have / be doing / feel what you think you should have / be doing / be feeling or deserve to have / be doing / feeling.
 
ScaredCat

ScaredCat

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No one 'should' be anything. I agree is not a good word to use
 
S

Stray

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does anyone think they should be happy?

if so, why?
No, I don't. I think as humans we have the capacity to be happy, so there seems to be an ongoing search for happiness, but it is a fleeting feeling. There is pressure to feel happy, an expectation, a concern if we're not happy, but imo it's unrealistic.......And yet I pretend I am happy to avoid concern. I am stupid.
 
6

6ofusathome

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I used to be happy. I used to be content (not in a lazy way but in a striving to be whole. content with where I was at for the moment and content with the direction I was headed in). And now I am not happy. I am not content. I go from grieving, to sadness, to emptiness and back again. over and over.
 
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