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Does anyone recall the day their brain officially broke and OCD took over?

Drawings_T

Drawings_T

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Well I was smoking cannabis a bit leading up to that, but I think it was the stress of the whole episode
 
T

Trentness

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Thank you all for sharing! I know it can be hard to rehash. It's interesting how many people had traits before but most definitely remember the moment the actual disease started.
 
CDHeed96

CDHeed96

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Mine initially came on after a traumatic illness I had during my teenage years, (I think) it also took 2 years to come on but they were subtle signs I didn't realize. It also runs in my family too, which I think could also be a factor. So yeah trauma and genes are probably the reason.

I used to struggle with compulsions and obsessions, but now it just tends to be crippling instrusive thoughts, mixed with BPD and GAD it doesn't help. I remember going out for a long walk and never feeling more sad and strange in my life with all these thoughts going around in my head, confused.

I lived with mild to moderate (managed by Sertraline) OCD for the next few years until I had full breakdown due to the instrusive thoughts. Got CBT in the past but never properly engaged with it due to lack of motivation and interchangeable moods.

At the moment I would say my instrusive thoughts are fairly severe, but just restarted on the Sertraline again (which seems to work) and Quetiapine (not for the OCD other things but hoping it may help a little)

It's a horrible condition and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy to be honest! Hopefully with new medications and things I'm doing (weight lifting, mindfulness, etc) it might help! Staying positive and fingers crossed.

It was 17 when it came on, worst at 22-23.
 
CDHeed96

CDHeed96

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Mine initially came on after a traumatic illness I had during my teenage years, (I think) it also took 2 years to come on but they were subtle signs I didn't realize. It also runs in my family too, which I think could also be a factor. So yeah trauma and genes are probably the reason.

I used to struggle with compulsions and obsessions, but now it just tends to be crippling instrusive thoughts, mixed with BPD and GAD it doesn't help. I remember going out for a long walk and never feeling more sad and strange in my life with all these thoughts going around in my head, confused.

I lived with mild to moderate (managed by Sertraline) OCD for the next few years until I had full breakdown due to the instrusive thoughts. Got CBT in the past but never properly engaged with it due to lack of motivation and interchangeable moods.

At the moment I would say my instrusive thoughts are fairly severe, but just restarted on the Sertraline again (which seems to work) and Quetiapine (not for the OCD other things but hoping it may help a little)

It's a horrible condition and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy to be honest! Hopefully with new medications and things I'm doing (weight lifting, mindfulness, etc) it might help! Staying positive and fingers crossed.

It was 17 when it came on, worst at 22-23.
Also smoked quite a bit of weed as a teenager, which I bet didn't help.
 
Drawings_T

Drawings_T

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Also smoked quite a bit of weed as a teenager, which I bet didn't help.
Feel we've had similar experiences! Weed was just normal when I was at school in the 90s, so idiotic looking back. I got into harder party drugs later in my teens, I knew how stupid it was, I think by that stage I just didn't care, hated life so much. The OCD got so bad and scary I totally quit at around 20 and since then haven't gone near drugs for about 19 years. I think if you're somebody who's easily bored (I have ADHD) you need a lot of guidance at that age to avoid the drugs trap.
 
Drawings_T

Drawings_T

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Mine was also very bad in my early 20s. I was just getting on top of it when a traumatic event brought it back again in a new way. Anyway, managing it OK at the moment. I think it was always there with me in a more subtle way, counting little patterns and things, and worrying a huge amount even as a child. Not helped by my Dad going off the rails with drink when I was about 8. On the plus side it has taught me a lot of self-discipline, in terms of eating well and exercising lots :)
 
CDHeed96

CDHeed96

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Mine was also very bad in my early 20s. I was just getting on top of it when a traumatic event brought it back again in a new way. Anyway, managing it OK at the moment. I think it was always there with me in a more subtle way, counting little patterns and things, and worrying a huge amount even as a child. Not helped by my Dad going off the rails with drink when I was about 8. On the plus side it has taught me a lot of self-discipline, in terms of eating well and exercising lots :)
Yeah it makes you disciplined at times which can be good sometimes, not that I'm saying OCD is a good thing! I find lying in on a morning bad for my OCD, I think getting up early helps too. Getting a good amount of sleep, but not too much
 
V

VideoGamer_1

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When the voices in my head started to tell me I was going to be the Antichrist. I seaked psychiatric help and it was a relief when I found out I have OCD. But it blew my mind when I looked back at the past 30yrs and wandered how many decisions I have made due to the OCD voices in my head.
 
H

Hope8327

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Mar 24, 2020
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63755
Mine started around 6 years of age when I was running from the neighbors yard to my house and a coyote was running after me...then my OCD literally started up and a dose of paranoia that has never left (although it's not about a coyote anymore).
 
N

Narcissist714

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It was definitely a distinct moment. I remember it happened when I was 10 years old my family just moved to a new house. I remember I was playing with a lighter and I burned a piece of paper and it caught on fire. After I put out the fire I felt intense guilt and anxiety and thought “what if my dad sees it he will hurt me”. I remember I kept telling myself the the paper is not on fire anymore. I went to go throw it in the trash so my dad wouldn’t see it. After throwing it in the trash I felt extremely guilty and anxious and kept thinking he was going to find out even if I got rid of the evidence. I felt guilty for getting rid of the evidence and not coming clean. I eventually told him but he wasn’t that mad. I thought after telling him I would feel better but later on the thought came back and I kept feeling guilty that I burned the piece of paper, that I’m a bad kid for thinkng about getting rid of the evidence from my dad. I kept obsessing about that minor event for a few days and that’s when I realized something is wrong with me. I think growing up in an abusive household and being on alert most of the time caused this, but I’m not sure.
 
V

VideoGamer_1

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It officially took over when about a year ago. To the extreme that I am now seeing a psychiatrist... I was doing a bible study and I became convinced I was the Antichrist everthing started to spiral down. thoughts were so convincing and I just knew I was going to hell.

Due to my obsessive disorder I couldn't stop thinking about it. I finally told my wife about this.
She said it was not normal and people don't usally hear "voices." "invasive thoughts"

I always knew I was different. I never knew that anyone had the thought process that I had. I didn't know that I was obsessing of thoughts and that made the anxiety.

It almost makes me angery that people just through around OCD as a joke.

If people only knew the true meaning of OCD...
 
Faith198

Faith198

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(This might be triggering)

yep same for me. A slow build. My first experience that I can remember is in kindergarten. I had a thing with aligning my pencils perfectly straight on my desk. I think it was a coping mechanism and I felt if I did that, that both my brother and I wouldn’t get yelled at or beat by my dad at home.
 
M

Marion24

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I was around 7 or even younger. Of course at the time I didn't know what it was, I was just compelled to do repeated movements, I went on with obsessive hand washing and so on.
 
M

Marion24

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(This might be triggering)

yep same for me. A slow build. My first experience that I can remember is in kindergarten. I had a thing with aligning my pencils perfectly straight on my desk. I think it was a coping mechanism and I felt if I did that, that both my brother and I wouldn’t get yelled at or beat by my dad at home.
I think physical abuse has a lot to do with ocd. I was too being beaten by my father out of the blue, I was constantly scared and I now realize that ocd was a coping mechanism, gave me a sense of safety and control
 
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