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Does anyone recall the day their brain officially broke and OCD took over?

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Trentness

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Mar 17, 2020
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Was it a distinct moment or a slow build. I had traits and some small compulsions but they didn't provoke much anxiety and I wasn't even sure what they were at the time. It definitely didn't eat up my time like it did after it hit full-on.
 
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iWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH3

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Mar 31, 2020
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When I was 10. It was a gradual procession. But it did keep getting worse and worse. I even attempted suicide because of it. OCD is torture.
:hug:
 
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Mister_Fabulous formerly BetaMale

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I was almost fifteen. While I didn't know it was OCD, I certainly knew my brain was broken.
 
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ji_11

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Mar 29, 2020
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Bahamas
I've had signs of ocd since I was like 8 or younger, it was brought on my stress at that time. But I can still tell you the week it really started which was the first week of January 2012, I was 12. I was very stressed because I had just found out I'd be moving countries and leaving my new house and dad behind, as well as starting public school in the new country after homeschooling since I was little.

I remember the first night I freaked out about something small and had a panic attack, I cried myself to sleep and it's like when I woke up the next morning I knew something had changed. That my mind wasn't working right but I didn't know what mental illness was so I considered myself just 'crazy'. Soon after became delusional and paranoid, attributing it to possession and started magical thinking :/

So very sudden for me, though it had really always been there at that time I could look back to a few days before and think 'I miss when I was normal'.
 
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Trentness

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That sucks that you all are going through this too. You're right, it's definitely torture. I got hit with it at 13 and there was a distinct thought/subject that entered my mind. Instantly, I met ocd face to face with all the ugliness and terror that it carries with it.

I'd never experienced an anxiety so intense; it was like it was radiating from my bones and my soul. My mind was left clawing for relief, an answer, some kind of reassurance ... you know the rest.

Instead of introducing itself by name, it told me its second lie; it told me that I was the Monster.
 
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ji_11

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That sucks that you all are going through this too. You're right, it's definitely torture. I got hit with it at 13 and there was a distinct thought/subject that entered my mind. Instantly, I met ocd face to face with all the ugliness and terror that it carries with it.

I'd never experienced an anxiety so intense; it was like it was radiating from my bones and my soul. My mind was left clawing for relief, an answer, some kind of reassurance ... you know the rest.

Instead of introducing itself by name, it told me its second lie; it told me that I was the Monster.
Ah I think we can all relate to that unfortunately. Seeing yourself as a monster especially as a child is so hard to go through. I wish ocd didn't so often start in childhood.
 
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Mama88

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Apr 15, 2020
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Yes, I was in the first grade and my friends cousin told me I would die on my next birthday because I ate poison. I was scared for 1/2 a year for my birthday to come. Even after my birthday my obsession with poison didn’t stop. I felt like a different person after that happened and my world went dark.
 
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Trentness

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that's a young age to start dealing with that, hopefully it's gotten better for you.
 
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Antartic Hand

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Jan 5, 2020
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Australia
Yes. It was almost 8 years ago when I was 27. Surprisingly things had been going well, as I had just gone back to Uni and had gotten good marks after the first Semester. Then, obsessive thoughts about morality entered my head. This had happened before, but this was when it became truly extreme, and I fell into a major depressive episode.

Previous to this, I had been suffering from social anxiety disorder since childhood. I can't say for sure, but as 27 is a fairly old age to suddenly be struck with OCD, I believe that my social anxiety had somewhat morphed and manifested into OCD.

Ever since that time I have had obsessive thoughts, and have had a further 3 major depressive episodes. As I did not have the kind of physical compulsions typically associated with OCD I just did not understand what was going on. Thankfully, I discovered the term "Pure O" to describe my condition. Even if the term is somewhat unscientific (as mental compulsions still exist), it let me know that my condition was at least recognised.
 
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Johntron9999

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Nov 18, 2018
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Calgary alberta
i remember when OCD started for me uhg its really upsetting. had anxiety as a kid but it was moderate... more than the other kids for sure but as i got older anxiety got worse and worse probably because your brain develops more and you think farther down the road about life but that can also result in worrying about the future and intrusive thoughts. when i was 21 ish i was going through sever depression and a disturbing thought came out of no where and i literally was scared for my life and broke down. the thoughts just looped ovvverrr and overr and it wouldnt stop and it gave me a constant panic attack! it was hell the fear and OCD was daily and would not pass! thats when i took my first ssri celexa and it actually helped out so much i didnt think i would get out of that dark spot EVER. i thought i was permantley brain damaged. my ssri stopped working unfortunatley and ive slipped right back into depression and OCD... BUT i will say just taking celexa got me out of the worst mental pain i could imagine. it really was a miracle it worked for over 5 years! im working with a doctor to get it under control again currently.... thats the short story
 
Keesha

Keesha

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I’d known I had other mental disorders but didn’t know how badly I had OCD until I started caring for my dad who has OCD. Both my parents were going senile but my dad became very obsessive about certain things like his favourite cup. It had broken a dozen times and he’d glue it back together. Then it couldn’t go in the dishwasher because of the glue. A tray he’d treat the same way. It got very worrisome and annoying and it wasn’t until two years ago that I realized how bad my ocd was too. At times our personalities would clash so bad.

All my life I figured ocd was about counting; like washing hands three times or checking the door three times before leaving. That type of thing is what I considered OCD yet oddly enough I’d have intrusive thoughts in my mind that I’d think over & over again not realized that it was a form of ocd.
This discovery really freaked me out and it was then that i understood how bad I was with this and it was scary and intimidating.
 
EddieH

EddieH

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It came on at work at first and spread to family situations eventually. It's sort of a staring problem and having trouble with eye contact. People think i am very odd, the way i act, but it is totally out of my control. I think it might of been the stress i was under at work and moving out of home, something did seem to break in me. Lucky for me it seems to be going away to some degree at the moment, things are a bit better. Totally maxed out on Escitalopram
 
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GetUp1068

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Apr 20, 2020
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My mind officially snapped when I found my father dead at home at thirteen years old. The obsessive thinking started soon afterwards...Idk if that counts.
 
Drawings_T

Drawings_T

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Feb 21, 2020
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After an intense episode of depression at age 15, which my parents and the doctor didn't take seriously.
 
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