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Does anyone know why this happens?

W

whiteflag

Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2008
Messages
18
Hi
Many times I want to go out with friends, for lunch or dinner or just coffee on weekends. Sometimes I am the one who suggests that lets go out. But towards the time to go out, I resist going out and make a lie to my friends, like I sprained my foot, or I've slipped and hurt myself. I dont know why I do this. Can someone shed some light?
 
A

Ainsworth

Guest
im the same :(

i cant plan anything, it has to be done on an impulse, if its planned my brain has time to think about it and panic
 
Q

quality factor

Guest
I'm another one too...the anticipation becomes almost unbearable, generally tho' I do try and go. The whole process is a nightmare and it takes me ages to recover when I get home again. I do often wonder is it worth it!!

QF.
 
W

whiteflag

Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2008
Messages
18
Oh am I glad to see u guys here have the same issue. Not that I mean its good to see more like me. I wish we could just plan things.

unremarkable - u hit a nail... impulse. if it is planned then yes there is time to panic.

I am about to start a new job. I have ben running my own business for years and this will be the first ever job I am undertaking. I am so scared that one day I will just resist to go to work. I know I will have to learn to deal with this. I dont know if counselling will help. Have any of you seen ny kind of therapist for this?
 
dib4uk

dib4uk

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Jul 23, 2009
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south london,england
I've also done somethings very similar but with me when I've arranged something social by the time it comes around to doing it I just can't be bothered to go, or I've lost the enthusiasm to attend- and spend the whole night/evening resenting the fact that I'm out.
 
trombone_babe

trombone_babe

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Kent
Yes I do that as well, in fact I have done for many years, long before any suggestion of a MH problem. My hubby used to think I was sulking or something and it caused quite a few rows years ago. He's a lot more understanding nowadays thankfully. :)
 
A

Ainsworth

Guest
i tried CBT for this one, the therapist thought i should just get out there! talked my through the positive steps and opening my mind to how wonderful it would be and how to cope!

so funny with me saying 'yes yes i will' knowing damn well i wouldnt :LOL:

my brain must of been on holiday for that therapy :unsure: :D
 
W

whiteflag

Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2008
Messages
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unremrkable - do you still resist going out or does the CBT do anything for you?
Also, if it is ok with you, can you tell me a little bit of what CBT is about? I mean I know I can look it up online, but if you have gone thru it, i'd think a personal experience with it will be much more of a better idea what to expect...as I am thinking of going thru it with a therapist (never done it before)
 
A

Ainsworth

Guest
CBT is a therapy thats suppose to give you another way at looking at things and giving you more of a positive outlook on the things that happen around you that could cause the negative feelings that we get.

its based on the here and now and not the cause, so treats the effect not the cause.

meaning they dont need to deal with how you came about to feel they way you do they just help treat the emotions you have around it.

it didnt work for me as i felt i was at starting place A and they wanted me to jump to C without dealing with B (does that make sense)

they try and make you think through things like, if someone ignores you or doesnt call you back, they make you look at reasons why, which are not negative to ourselves. to rationalize the though process.

as i said it didnt work because i have issues from the past that i need to deal with head on. i think once i have maybe i will go back to it and try again
 
A

Ainsworth

Guest
oops didnt answer the first bit, yes i still resist going out.

it got to the point that even thinking of having to go to CBT was making me worse.
 
A

Anu Smith

New member
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Dec 7, 2009
Messages
3
The main reason for such things are that you might not be satisfied with yourself. You want to avoid people. It may be because of outlook or your unsatisfaction with your career.
 
L

Lady Summer Isles

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NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE
ME TOO:scared: Another impulse person. Can't plan anything generally except for holidays. Only prob then is I usually want to come home when i get there. Hate social events with avengance. Have said yes to a xmas meal which is in the evening( when i never go out anyway) with the women's group I go to and already doubting i'll make it.
Tannith
 
S

smith

Guest
Even i do this quite often, my friends complaints about the same like i make plans but at the timr of exeuition i tend to go resists outing . i don't know is it normal or not?
 
D

diddypinks

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this only happens to me hen feeling low. you think well i dont want to be around me so why would anyone else? pushing people away because you cant put on a happu face now a real friend someone who could deal with me as i am i have never found..........yet.
 
bubbling under

bubbling under

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I can identify with this as well. If I know I've got an event coming up, I am in total worry mode about it, thinking ways I could get out of it. For example, it's my class xmas bash next tuesday, and even though it's 'my' event it sends me in to a spin. But with that it's more because the success/failure is down to just me :unsure: More often than not it's because I don't feel good enough or socially equipt to deal with whoever I might cross paths with, and I'm crap at talking to people. I forget to keep eye contact, and normally feel like what ever I say makes me sound like a twit :(, or I don't explain myself properly and waffle...bit like now really :redface:
 
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