Does anyone know what its like to have Avoidant Personality Disorder?

[cookiesncream]

So I have not been diagnosed but all my life I have feared social situations - in particular I get really stressed and anxious about being around others to the point where I get physically sick. I've turned down job interviews and I've dropped out of college because I'm so afraid of being criticised or rejected. When I was in school, I avoided any subjects where I had to do speeches, presentations or anything where I was being judged. And if I had a class presentation in a mandatory subject - I avoided it. I dropped out of college because I couldn't handle the idea of having a lot of practical exams where I was working & being judged alone. I feel as if the only outcome of any situation is failure, embarrassment, judgement - even if its as simple as walking down the street I feel embarrassment and judgement from others. I've had a pretty traumatic childhood where I felt rejection from my parents & classmates. I noticed my problem when I was doing a child psychology module in college, I feel like I'm stuck.

I would be so grateful if anyone could point me in the right direction

 

[ManDss]

Yeap, that sounds very much like a pure avoidant personality disorder.

How are you doing this days about that ?

 

[jajingna]

I guess this is one for the social anxiety forum. A long time ago a psychiatrist sort of casually referred to my social phobia though I had never heard anybody say those words, just saw it in a book.

I was a teacher for years and would get evaluated sometimes. The kids would all behave well then with other authorities present. But for those of us with this anxiety, we might really botch things up because we're being observed and judged.

 

[I_Was_Punished]

So I have not been diagnosed but all my life I have feared social situations - in particular I get really stressed and anxious about being around others to the point where I get physically sick. I've turned down job interviews and I've dropped out of college because I'm so afraid of being criticised or rejected. When I was in school, I avoided any subjects where I had to do speeches, presentations or anything where I was being judged. And if I had a class presentation in a mandatory subject - I avoided it. I dropped out of college because I couldn't handle the idea of having a lot of practical exams where I was working & being judged alone. I feel as if the only outcome of any situation is failure, embarrassment, judgement - even if its as simple as walking down the street I feel embarrassment and judgement from others. I've had a pretty traumatic childhood where I felt rejection from my parents & classmates. I noticed my problem when I was doing a child psychology module in college, I feel like I'm stuck.

I would be so grateful if anyone could point me in the right direction

i haven't actually been diagnosed with it but i am pretty sure i have it too. I could have written this post myself

 

[OddballOut]

I have APD

Do you see a therapist? That would be my first step. Find a psychologist, get a diagnosis. There's a few disorders that are closely related to APD. If they're decent they'll administer a personality test to determine if you have APD or not.

There are also work books. Generally DBT, ACT and CBT are useful. Recognizing and changing cognitive distortions. Exposure therapy etc.
Medications can help with the anxiety so that you stop avoiding and get to a baseline comfort level so you can actively work on feeling and overcoming the anxiety that makes you want to avoid everything.