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Does anyone have experience with avoidant restrictive food intake disorder?

C

Coffeeandrainbows

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I’ve never been diagnosed with an eating disorder but when I’m depressed I would rather food was just injected in me or something similar. Although same with all basic functions. I do eat mostly to shut my stomach up and do feel better for it. But it is a bit of a chore. And it is enjoyable if it’s good food, like a roast dinner.
I'm not fond of eating to be honest. I like very specific things and if they touch the wrong way or are not the right things. I just don't eat. I feel so much pressure at this time of year.

I've honestly wondered if I'd be better suited to use meal replacements most of the time and not for dieting just because food stresses me so much.

It was young when it started but my sibling thought I was being silly and my reaction was overstated as I have coughed and ran to vomit around certain foods. I get it to some extent... It must seem ridiculous but I have to close my eyes/look away/ hold something strong smelling like coffee under my nose/ and constantly lie to myself about certain aspects of how food is prepared.... I'm afraid my worst might mean I literally have to farm my own food or starve.

I've managed to create some blocks that stop me getting there but this is a problem, and they struggle to treat well known mental illness, so I'm afraid of taking to much into it in a CBT type scenario. I know it doesn't make sense to most people but I would prefer to starve slowly and even have acted that out in certain cases. My worst was trip with my school and I was scared of cross contamination. I ate about 4 packets of crisps that week.

As an adult I struggle, before COVID we had Xmas lunches or dinners. I hate weddings, events, Xmas dinner where I have to try and eat something.these days I normally just try and pretend to eat and not look at anyone's plate.
 
LoqLamp

LoqLamp

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not quite the same but I will never finish the last part of a drink or even food due to some childhood trauma. I can force myself now but it makes me gag. It was due to idiot childish stuff like putting snot in drinks to prank others. No idea how that started.
 
C

Coffeeandrainbows

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not quite the same but I will never finish the last part of a drink or even food due to some childhood trauma. I can force myself now but it makes me gag. It was due to idiot childish stuff like putting snot in drinks to prank others. No idea how that started.
I understand but at least that makes sense.

My problems were there before I remember although I do think sometimes family even being well meaning made me feel tricked and paranoid.

My brother on the other hand loved to eat everything and isn't the best at empathy (not a bad guy, just seems to live in his own world even when we are both over 30).

The article on BBC has a psychologist trying to explain when it's not just picky eating and is an eating disorder.

I'm sorry you are facing these issues and even though it manifests differently I think there are a lot of things that are probably similar. It's also sad as often getting dinner with friends can be a nice social experience but knowing you can't have that❤️❤️❤️
 
LoqLamp

LoqLamp

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Ah yeah mines more that I can’t get a certain thing out of my head and it causes a gag reflex. But I can link it to something that happened. We’re a bit the same but quite different. Wish you all the best.
 
C

Coffeeandrainbows

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I have a similar issues certain foods I can't be around, I even have nightmares.
 
C

Coffeeandrainbows

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I wish I knew what caused it, but all I have is coping mechanisms. There does seem to be a few psychologists/ psychiatrists are looking into what causes it. I read some you infants have traumatic feeding in where they for might feel they are choking, there be also appears to be some link with autism.

Im just glad that it's beginning to be noticed as a problem. I hate that judgey look.
 
LoqLamp

LoqLamp

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It’s an issue to not be able to finish a beer. But I link it back to being told about backwash when I was young. And I just can’t get that out of my head when it’s the last dregs of any drink.
 
C

Coffeeandrainbows

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Funnily enough liquids I'm good with. I always needed extra milk or dilliiluted juice, as a teen I had to have soda, juice or water, but food as my problem even though that doesn't make sense. My obsessions with food were extreme.

I have wondered if meal substitutes may be a solution as I have some problems associated with malnutrition like anemia, low b12.

Then I could just make an occasion where I make exactly what I want... But Im also uncomfortable with them.

I can't eat a turkey Xmas or go for the veggie option my mum gets. In my head even though my aunt goes out her way I don't eat.

If I cook meat I panic, so my partner doesn't enjoy that. Going vegan or veggie at least would make sense for me ( I have high paranoia about under cookers meat).

Still though I can't make sense of limiting my diet even more. Every single thing needs to be a certain way. Get it wrong once and I don't trust you. I have a few unspoken issues with family, where they think things re fine but deep down I feel I can't trust them.
 
LoqLamp

LoqLamp

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Mines very much liquid. I do have an issue where’s I have to leave the last part of food. Most notably the corner crust of a sandwich. The liquid part I can link back but the food thing I have no idea. Just have always done it. I have tried meal substitutes. If you try them be ready for a hell of a sugar rush. Gave me a panic attack. That’s what put me off of them. Not really ready to take about 700 calories and like 200 calories in a sugar alternative. Good if you go to the gym a lot though.
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

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I’ve never been diagnosed with an eating disorder but when I’m depressed I would rather food was just injected in me or something similar. Although same with all basic functions. I do eat mostly to shut my stomach up and do feel better for it. But it is a bit of a chore. And it is enjoyable if it’s good food, like a roast dinner.
Me too. I wish I could just get IVs of all my nutrients put into me. My issue is I am just hardly ever hungry. It's literally like I HAVE no stomach. It isn't connected to my brain anymore. There are no hunger signals. It never rumbles or gurgles, ever.
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

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Funnily enough liquids I'm good with. I always needed extra milk or dilliiluted juice, as a teen I had to have soda, juice or water, but food as my problem even though that doesn't make sense. My obsessions with food were extreme.

I have wondered if meal substitutes may be a solution as I have some problems associated with malnutrition like anemia, low b12.

Then I could just make an occasion where I make exactly what I want... But Im also uncomfortable with them.

I can't eat a turkey Xmas or go for the veggie option my mum gets. In my head even though my aunt goes out her way I don't eat.

If I cook meat I panic, so my partner doesn't enjoy that. Going vegan or veggie at least would make sense for me ( I have high paranoia about under cookers meat).

Still though I can't make sense of limiting my diet even more. Every single thing needs to be a certain way. Get it wrong once and I don't trust you. I have a few unspoken issues with family, where they think things re fine but deep down I feel I can't trust them.
As a kid, I had trouble swallowing some things. It was an ordeal to swallow tablets. I couldn't take big bites of things that I had to chew, as I couldn't swallow them. Meat was a particular problem as I would chew it too much, so it would end up all over-chewed and dry, so I couldn't swallow it. I used to stuff some in my mouth, so one of my cheeks looked like a chipmonk, hide some under my other food, and then spit it out into the toilet (no vomiting).

I also could NOT eat a meal without having a drink with it. I'd watch some friends eat their whole lunch or dinner and THEN have a glass of juice or water, but...nothing DURING the meal! I couldn't do that. I'm still the same.

I also find I prefer lots of gravy on things, and other sauces, like custard or cream, and when I have Indian or Thai curries, I like a lot of creamy sauce. No dry curries.
 
C

Coffeeandrainbows

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Location
Scotland
Same IV me up. I'm nervous about going on food replacements that are currently marketed. I do feel hunger but it's nothing in comparison to feeling about the foods I don't like.

Smell, texture, appearance it makes me gag. Even after adjusting as an adult, I still struggle. If my partner eats certain foods I need him to clean up right away, then he misses something because a tiny thing in the sink or the bin wouldn't be a problem for most people, they would just rinse it or take the bin out. I feel nausea and start to panic about cross contamination.

I know it's not rational, but the effect it has on my life is strained relationships with family particularly my brother, wieght yo-yoing, anemia from lack of proper diet and vitamin deficiencies. I know outside my head this seems crazy to folk but I would rather starve and have done in the past.

My bro was even saying recently that he felt a double standard when we were younger of he didn't like something, difference being I would not eat at all. Also I've always been okay with the things that kids tend to not like. I'll eat my greens, but why did you add that weird sauce, or sometimes I need separate plates for things cross contamination is a big problem for me.
 
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