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Does anyone feel as screwed up as I do?

D

Dazed & Confused

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 19, 2021
Messages
2,338
Location
Australia
Right now, I'm in a really bad way. I don't know how to describe it but I'm feeling really fucked up in the head. My thinking is very negative and I can't get a song, an earworm, out of my head. It is driving me crazy.

I have been staying in bed all day, every day. I'm not looking after myself today. I'm not showering or drinking water.

I have so many problems in my life that it is not funny. My physical health is terrible. I feel embarrassed about the state of my life and my health because I'm a grown woman.

I'm 50, I feel old and I feel like a failure. My life is a fucking mess.

I just had to get it out there.

Does anyone feel as fucked up as I do?
 
Marmalade

Marmalade

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 2, 2012
Messages
104
Location
Herne Bay, Kent, UK
Yes, mate. I've been there, and am still there in some respects. I function enough to hold down a job and keep a home for myself and my cat, but believe me... it's still a struggle.

I'm 62, by the way, and am here to say that although is has never been easy... it's still something I want to carry on with, to see where it might lead. I keep saying to myself: The only way to know if life can get better is to continue to live it.

Just keep going, my friend. Get some sleep, even if it's all day. Eat food, drink water... and try to keep your hope alive. You aren't alone. And we're always here for you.

Take care ;)

Tom
 
Marmalade

Marmalade

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 2, 2012
Messages
104
Location
Herne Bay, Kent, UK
Then do. And keep talking. Because what you say helps others, and they in turn help you. That's what's great about forums like this. The understanding. The reciprocity.
 
D

Dazed & Confused

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 19, 2021
Messages
2,338
Location
Australia
I love the name Tom. Thank you for reminding me that I want to call my next purebred black Labrador Tom.
 
L

Lewis21

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 22, 2021
Messages
102
Location
U.K
Right now, I'm in a really bad way. I don't know how to describe it but I'm feeling really fucked up in the head. My thinking is very negative and I can't get a song, an earworm, out of my head. It is driving me crazy.

I have been staying in bed all day, every day. I'm not looking after myself today. I'm not showering or drinking water.

I have so many problems in my life that it is not funny. My physical health is terrible. I feel embarrassed about the state of my life and my health because I'm a grown woman.

I'm 50, I feel old and I feel like a failure. My life is a fucking mess.

I just had to get it out there.

Does anyone feel as fucked up as I do?
Yes 53 and heads a total mess xx
 
D

Dazed & Confused

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 19, 2021
Messages
2,338
Location
Australia
Then do. And keep talking. Because what you say helps others, and they in turn help you. That's what's great about forums like this. The understanding. The reciprocity.
I have this deep down belief that I'm bad and worthless, and it stops me from talking to people.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
9,162
Location
Nashua NH
Right now, I'm in a really bad way. I don't know how to describe it but I'm feeling really fucked up in the head. My thinking is very negative and I can't get a song, an earworm, out of my head. It is driving me crazy.

I have been staying in bed all day, every day. I'm not looking after myself today. I'm not showering or drinking water.

I have so many problems in my life that it is not funny. My physical health is terrible. I feel embarrassed about the state of my life and my health because I'm a grown woman.

I'm 50, I feel old and I feel like a failure. My life is a fucking mess.

I just had to get it out there.

Does anyone feel as fucked up as I do?

Yes I do. I’m 44 years old, in debt, live with my widow mother (my father just died this past August) and I haven’t worked or had a job in over ten years. I have no real friends or contact with people for the most part outside of my mother. I do have a therapist and a case manager who I see weekly and biweekly respectively and I volunteer at a food pantry two days a week. There is no way I will be able to support myself financially, emotionally, psychologically, socially or otherwise should something happen to my mother. I feel like I should have gotten things sorted out by now and been able to get things together so that I would be more functional as an adult and human being. I didn’t choose these struggles, though, they chose me. I work hard to keep my sanity in check and to stay out of trouble. The state took away my drivers license when I was manic and I have criminal convictions associated with this that I am currently working off. I am on probation for this and will be on it for almost another year. So yeah, I definitely share your feelings. It’s especially frustrating since in the past I always worked hard and strived and made the right choices. Each new episode brought another backslide, though. It’s hard to accept my situation where I am now. xo, j
 
Lone_wanderer

Lone_wanderer

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 22, 2012
Messages
6,618
Sometimes, yes mate, there isn't much in life for a 52 year old Schizo and former drug addict. But other days it's okay.
 
D

Dazed & Confused

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 19, 2021
Messages
2,338
Location
Australia
Things have been really bad since my mental illness came back in 2017/18.
 
losingme1989

losingme1989

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 13, 2019
Messages
12,875
Location
England
Some days I do yeah, depends on how much I let darkness within me take hold. 🤔

I need to go easier on myself, for a while now I've been feeling I should be doing more and more in life & it gets overwhelming when my body/brain is screaming no to it. 🤔
 
M

martkad666

Member
Joined
Nov 11, 2021
Messages
19
Location
England
Negative thinking... My second name! I am trying really hard to reframe my thinking and shut down the racing thoughts. You're not old and you're not a failure! And most of all you are not worthless, you just need some time. It will get better!
 
D

dewey

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
1,912
Right now, I'm in a really bad way. I don't know how to describe it but I'm feeling really fucked up in the head. My thinking is very negative and I can't get a song, an earworm, out of my head. It is driving me crazy.

I have been staying in bed all day, every day. I'm not looking after myself today. I'm not showering or drinking water.

I have so many problems in my life that it is not funny. My physical health is terrible. I feel embarrassed about the state of my life and my health because I'm a grown woman.

I'm 50, I feel old and I feel like a failure. My life is a fucking mess.

I just had to get it out there.

Does anyone feel as fucked up as I do?
Wow, I thought it was only me that struggled with earworms. I get them *all* the time, even though I don't even listen to music. It's just songs from the past that come back and replay in my head over and over, for some reason.

Yeah I also feel totally fucked up! So you ain't alone.

I'm 28 and feel old.

What kinds of problems do you have? Physical health?
 
Lone_wanderer

Lone_wanderer

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 22, 2012
Messages
6,618
@dewey apart from arthritic knees I am in near perfect physical health or at least I was when they checked me over last spring when they checked me over in a and e. I do have some arthritis In my knees but it is mild.

With me it's mainly negative symptoms of sz. The last couple of days I have managed to maintain a very mindful state so the intrusive paranoid thoughts were held at bay.

I get the bloody earworms as well.
 
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