
magich8ball
Member
I'm a new poster, just made an account to hopefully read other people who understand me.
I have talked to my therapist a little..but I struggle a lot with shopping compulsions. For instance, when I see something I saw on someone else online (let's say, someone on instagram was wearing a pair of pink socks and I thought they were cute) I will obsessively think about them if it's something I know I can find discounted. I used to use finding discounted stuff as something as a "fun" game to help my friends out, but now it's become a gateway into me feeling like I /have/ to buy it because of the discount.
I am better about it now, in that my closet of clothes I don't wear has grown to the point where it's unmanageable for my other compulsions (folding clothes and cleaning) so I try to think very hard about needs vs. wants but it's still really difficult.
I have this cycle where I go from seeing something --> feeling like I /need/ the item ---> feeling an intense period of urgency as though I need to buy it or ""else"" --> buying the item and feeling the urge fulfilled --> immediately feeling a massive amount of guilt for knowing that I am adding to the piles of stuff I already have ---> subsequently going back into a low point and needing something to fixate on to satiate me ---> usually ending up scrolling on a website where I find something that I feel will complete me and the cycle starts again
But I guess it's also hard because even in trying to be better about my shopping (which I feel like I am getting better and my partner says I am) I still feel this nausea even when I choose to get things to treat myself or even buy things I actually need. I just hate how much guilt and self deprecation my OCD has me complicit in against myself...
I have talked to my therapist a little..but I struggle a lot with shopping compulsions. For instance, when I see something I saw on someone else online (let's say, someone on instagram was wearing a pair of pink socks and I thought they were cute) I will obsessively think about them if it's something I know I can find discounted. I used to use finding discounted stuff as something as a "fun" game to help my friends out, but now it's become a gateway into me feeling like I /have/ to buy it because of the discount.
I am better about it now, in that my closet of clothes I don't wear has grown to the point where it's unmanageable for my other compulsions (folding clothes and cleaning) so I try to think very hard about needs vs. wants but it's still really difficult.
I have this cycle where I go from seeing something --> feeling like I /need/ the item ---> feeling an intense period of urgency as though I need to buy it or ""else"" --> buying the item and feeling the urge fulfilled --> immediately feeling a massive amount of guilt for knowing that I am adding to the piles of stuff I already have ---> subsequently going back into a low point and needing something to fixate on to satiate me ---> usually ending up scrolling on a website where I find something that I feel will complete me and the cycle starts again
But I guess it's also hard because even in trying to be better about my shopping (which I feel like I am getting better and my partner says I am) I still feel this nausea even when I choose to get things to treat myself or even buy things I actually need. I just hate how much guilt and self deprecation my OCD has me complicit in against myself...