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Does anyone else struggle with food/ purging?

E

ElleJay

Member
Joined
Jan 7, 2020
Messages
5
Location
UK
Hi, I’m new here and whilst waiting to get further help for BPD thought I’d join this forum. I’ve currently gone through a relapse or episode or whatever want to call it. Occasionally in the past I’ve purged as a form of punishment i guess. This time around I’m now stuck in this cycle where I struggle to eat or make food. But i do as i know if i don’t it’s not going to be beneficial to me to starve myself. What i’m struggling most with is as soon as i’ve eaten i am purging. I have battled with myself to not, eaten out with friends and stayed with them after in the hope the need to wears off but when they are gone i still do it. Has anyone on here done this and have any advice on how they stopped or reduced doing it after everything they ate? I spoke to my doctor today but she didnt seem phased but i know this is going to be damaging if i continue. I’ve googled online but not had much luck. Thanks for reading.
 
E

ElleJay

Member
Joined
Jan 7, 2020
Messages
5
Location
UK
Hi blue spark, no am perfectly happy with my weight i think! I was on mirtazapine last year and i gained on that then came off because of weight gain but mainly sick of being a complete zombie unable to get up. In the month after i came off i lost 1.5 stone that i’d put on.
 
G

Girl interupted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
1,515
You might consider going to an overeaters anonymous meeting. You don’t have to be overweight to go, just have emotional issues tied with food. It works in a similar 12 step program like AA, but the more important thing is that it will connect you with others who struggle with food and make you feel less alone.
 
SwanLake

SwanLake

Well-known member
Joined
May 20, 2019
Messages
1,137
Hi, I’m new here and whilst waiting to get further help for BPD thought I’d join this forum. I’ve currently gone through a relapse or episode or whatever want to call it. Occasionally in the past I’ve purged as a form of punishment i guess. This time around I’m now stuck in this cycle where I struggle to eat or make food. But i do as i know if i don’t it’s not going to be beneficial to me to starve myself. What i’m struggling most with is as soon as i’ve eaten i am purging. I have battled with myself to not, eaten out with friends and stayed with them after in the hope the need to wears off but when they are gone i still do it. Has anyone on here done this and have any advice on how they stopped or reduced doing it after everything they ate? I spoke to my doctor today but she didnt seem phased but i know this is going to be damaging if i continue. I’ve googled online but not had much luck. Thanks for reading.
I’m not familiar with your trait but just be aware we all have self destructive coping strategies that are there to give us temporary relief from our emotional pain, and this could well be one of yours. Might be worth you looking into some BPD and Mindfulness books whilst you await therapy as I would think that if you address your BPD you’ll address this condition by default.
 
E

ElleJay

Member
Joined
Jan 7, 2020
Messages
5
Location
UK
You might consider going to an overeaters anonymous meeting. You don’t have to be overweight to go, just have emotional issues tied with food. It works in a similar 12 step program like AA, but the more important thing is that it will connect you with others who struggle with food and make you feel less alone.
I’ve not heard of this before, i’ll look into thank you.
 
E

ElleJay

Member
Joined
Jan 7, 2020
Messages
5
Location
UK
I’m not familiar with your trait but just be aware we all have self destructive coping strategies that are there to give us temporary relief from our emotional pain, and this could well be one of yours. Might be worth you looking into some BPD and Mindfulness books whilst you await therapy as I would think that if you address your BPD you’ll address this condition by default.
Do you have any you would advise? I’m also a bit sceptical when it comes to mindfulness as sometimes feel can be more hurtful than helpful
 
SwanLake

SwanLake

Well-known member
Joined
May 20, 2019
Messages
1,137
Do you have any you would advise? I’m also a bit sceptical when it comes to mindfulness as sometimes feel can be more hurtful than helpful
I would recommend The Mindful way through depression by Kabat Zinn and Mindfulness for BPD by Blaise Aguirre and Gillian Galen. Personally I think buying them in audio format gives you the best results. Please do not think Mindfulness is hurtful, it’s all about getting your mind into a relaxed state and living in the present moment, as opposed to ruminating about the past or projecting into the future. It is absolutely key to controlling your emotions and in turn managing your BPD traits. Good luck.
 
E

ElleJay

Member
Joined
Jan 7, 2020
Messages
5
Location
UK
I would recommend The Mindful way through depression by Kabat Zinn and Mindfulness for BPD by Blaise Aguirre and Gillian Galen. Personally I think buying them in audio format gives you the best results. Please do not think Mindfulness is hurtful, it’s all about getting your mind into a relaxed state and living in the present moment, as opposed to ruminating about the past or projecting into the future. It is absolutely key to controlling your emotions and in turn managing your BPD traits. Good luck.
thank you will give them a try!
 
R

Rogue7

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 2, 2020
Messages
56
Location
Australia
Hi, I’m new here and whilst waiting to get further help for BPD thought I’d join this forum. I’ve currently gone through a relapse or episode or whatever want to call it. Occasionally in the past I’ve purged as a form of punishment i guess. This time around I’m now stuck in this cycle where I struggle to eat or make food. But i do as i know if i don’t it’s not going to be beneficial to me to starve myself. What i’m struggling most with is as soon as i’ve eaten i am purging. I have battled with myself to not, eaten out with friends and stayed with them after in the hope the need to wears off but when they are gone i still do it. Has anyone on here done this and have any advice on how they stopped or reduced doing it after everything they ate? I spoke to my doctor today but she didnt seem phased but i know this is going to be damaging if i continue. I’ve googled online but not had much luck. Thanks for reading.
I have been diagnosed with cptsd, eating disorder, ocd with bpd traits. I purge. I try not too, my eating disorder is more anorexia than bulimia but I try to eat (in recovery) but sometimes I freak out and purge it. Dunno if that's a bpd trait or just part of my ED. But know you aren't alone xx
 
Acorn

Acorn

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 11, 2020
Messages
168
Location
England
Hello
I’m wondering what function purging is achieving for you? In my experience the key to stopping a particular behaviour is to work out why you are doing it what purpose it achieves and then how something less destructive can serve the same function.
 
B

blue spark

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 25, 2014
Messages
181
Location
bottom of dingly dell
Hello
I’m wondering what function purging is achieving for you? In my experience the key to stopping a particular behaviour is to work out why you are doing it what purpose it achieves and then how something less destructive can serve the same function.
It rots your teeth.
 
Acorn

Acorn

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 11, 2020
Messages
168
Location
England
Yes it does, but I’m talking about emotional function. Why purge? What is trying to be dealt with and/or communicated
 
K

Kmc92

Member
Joined
Nov 6, 2019
Messages
5
Location
Uk
ED s d BPD are very closely linked, lots of research into how dysfunctions with serotonin increase trait expression in both disorders. I was originally diagnosed with an ED then BPD, my therapist recognised a preoccupation with weight but that my binge purge cycle was mainly a maladaptive coping mechanism for stress.
She used to tell me to find ways to prolong decision making if the urge to purge was impulsive, such as taking myself for a 5/10 min walk after dinner to appraise my decision. I don’t know if yours is an impulsive action, but buying time between kitchen and bathroom helped me to manage some purge epusides.
 
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