Does anyone else obsess and hero-worship people?

fazza

fazza

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2014
Messages
698
Location
U.K
#41
I have hero worshipped in the past and it has caused me a lot of problems. I have just started C.A.T therapy which is similar to CBT therapy.

I grew up mostly ignored and dismissed as a child. My dad was a monster towards me and my mum.

I found a perfect outlet at the local outdoor education center and the instructor took me under his wing. Little did I know that over time he used the information that I was giving him and his responses led to me being groomed.

Sad thing is that I thought he was fantastic. Now I am paying the price for it.
 
H

Heljun

Active member
Joined
Feb 26, 2019
Messages
34
Location
Paris
#42
Strange, I think I'm like that a little. Except I'm gay (female) but mostly don't have relationships, or haven't for a long time. I tend to idolize straight females and strike strong friendships with them, and I might fantasize about the relation to become romantic/physical at some point (which has happened some times), but i don't really do anything to make it happen, being aware its generally not possible, and sort of contend to bask in their friendship, living "as if" they were my partner and being extremely thoughtful/caring, with gifts, attentions and all, and also being afraid of them disappearing from my life if they see through me. Many a times those women (one at a time) will appreciate the attention and maybe flirt a little, but not necessarily having a clue as to how deep my feelings run. Especially since most of them (not that there were that many) are in a situation where they do need saving and unconditional love for having been damaged by bad relationships with men. So there's a bit of a savior complex running on my part, and I figure this also keeps me from engaging in a genuine two-ways relationship. Last occurence of this, I've been obsessing over a friend for some time, with strong feelings... but those feelings don't really leave me frustrated, I get ridiculously happy from any mark of affection and sort of go with it though yes, I do have desire for her sometimes. I think it has actually turned into a genuine friendship but it's undoubtedly taking too much of my energy and time for me to develop another relationship with someone who's available. Food for thought.