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Does anyone else have these kind of thoughts with depression?

U

u8mypizza

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I have had depression for a while now. Currently my life has been content, but I just can't stop thinking about a way to die. Not necessarily suicide because from experience it can destroy loved ones which is something that's very hard for me to do. So I think of alternative ways of dying such has having a terminal illness. A freak accident on the road or get murdered. Some kind of way to die without intentionally committing it myself. So that way family wouldn't be as sad if i were to kill myself and blaming themselves but dying cause nature or bad luck permitted it. I honestly hope for it, and it doesn't seem sad to me but a form of release. I wonder if other people who've dealt with clinical depression have had similar thoughts. If not then I'm probably crazy lol
 
T

TTC93

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I have them thoughts quite a lot. I don't ever feel suicidal but I always imagine different ways of dying. I'm not sure if I want it to happen but I feel happy whilst imagining the thoughts.

We feel like this because we feel like we can't be happy and that its exhausting always feeling this way. The thing is we battle through it each day, even if we don't want to there must be a reason we continue.
 
keepsafe

keepsafe

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Yes, Yes I feel like that too, the release from this life without the hurt to anyone else. I have often thought of if I had a terminal illness or accident/other happening. The truth is terminal illness is horrible and the suffering is immense. You say you are content - so what is making you feel this way, not just the depression?

Take care
KS
xxx
 
nonotme

nonotme

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yes i have odd wired death thoughts. almost wishing cancer on yourself at times. sick i know.
 
BulldogBrit

BulldogBrit

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Why, only last night, whilst laying bed and trying to get some sleep I pondered death. I have Peripheral Arterial Disease, which is when certain arteries (often in the lower leg) get clogged up and fail to allow a healthy blood flow. I had done some research on PAD during the day and basically, PAD is a precursor to either heart attack, a stroke and a blood clot. I got to thinking, very seriously, whether I would be better off dying like this or just killing myself. I even did a Google search on it! On the face of it this is just idle thoughts during a sleepless night but I know myself and this is a sign of my depression. Add to all this that in the last year or so I've been through a really bad time, with no solution coming anytime soon, and I'm very concerned about some possible upcoming problems, and that right now I'm feeling pretty worthless and just keep pondering over my failures in life, it all adds up.
 
C

CB1000

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I have had similar thoughts in the past too - cancer mostly - although not always thoughts of wanting to die from it. When I was miserable because of my job I mainly thought about being seriously ill to have a good reason to leave my job - feel ashamed to say that. Other times I thought about hurting myself & also thought about dying from terminal illness rather than ending it myself. I'm in a better place mentally now - still not great but improved - mostly through a career change. Sorry to hear you're having these thoughts, hope this helps - you're not alone in thinking this.
 
calypso

calypso

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Hiya and :welcome: to the forum. Have you had any help with these thoughts? Many of us know depression and how it can make life so hard to continue at times. I have these thoughts (and others) every day. Would any therapy help do you think? Support to know how to combat this can help hugely.
 
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clarabow

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Definitely have those thoughts, in fact was about to write something about it. I don't really want to die, just want to be at peace with myself. But your thoughts are pretty normal for a depressed person. The trouble is, death causes pain to our loved ones even if not by suicide. That is why we all have to hang on, and find the reason to be here. What would make yu want to really & truly live?
 

MarlieeB

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I have had depression for a while now. Currently my life has been content, but I just can't stop thinking about a way to die. Not necessarily suicide because from experience it can destroy loved ones which is something that's very hard for me to do. So I think of alternative ways of dying such has having a terminal illness. A freak accident on the road or get murdered. Some kind of way to die without intentionally committing it myself. So that way family wouldn't be as sad if i were to kill myself and blaming themselves but dying cause nature or bad luck permitted it. I honestly hope for it, and it doesn't seem sad to me but a form of release. I wonder if other people who've dealt with clinical depression have had similar thoughts. If not then I'm probably crazy lol
Welcome to the forum :)

Yes, I have the same thoughts. It's hard to find something to stay alive for when you are in that state of mind. I lost the one thing last week and I dread to think the next time it gets that bad for me. Hopefully it won't but yeah.

x
 
G

Gredge23

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I also constantly have thoughts like you are not alone xx
 
krista

krista

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I think it's "normal" to have these thoughts if you are ill.. I mean, so many of us admit to having them.
 
T

Trunchy

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quite literally ur in a stage of coming to terms with wat u personally believe about death. You're searching for what you want of it and probably feel a bit overwhelmed with the idea of how fragile and momentary each life is. What you NEED to understand though is there is not a single type of thought capable of occurring in the human mind that someone else in the world has come to consider. And that's not supposed to be a negative truth, the fact is there are people out there who can definitely connect and reach these ideas themselves- me being in a similar position. If any of these thoughts continue or you just don't wanna talk to anyone you know about it, feel free to chat with me. I won't judge you for it, I'll just let you know my experience and it'll be be completely up to you with what ideas you take away from it.
 
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