does anyone else have no idea how to love themselves?

  • Thread starter Flameheart (was BPDevil)
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L

Lunar Lady

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#21
the most basic advice people give is 'love yourself'

yeah how then

where do you even start
Be the friend you've always dreamed of - to yourself.

I don't run negative dialogue through my head - I celebrate my good attributes and forgive myself for the less appealing ones ;)

Our greatest critic is normally our own internal voice - so I swapped mine for someone warm, loving and encouraging.

There's an old saying that I remember my dad saying to me: "It's not the cards you're dealt that matters but how you play your hand." I make the most of what I've got and have re-trained my mind to appreciate the beauty in me. xx
 
O

OCDguy

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#24
Lol, you are a real inspiration :respect: are you able to share some of the things that helped you on the way. For me it's all about having a element of control, something to work with and from :)
 
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JasonR28

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#25
I'm a realistic person. I don't know how I got that way but it happened. I can like my strengths but also be relatively comfortable with my weaknesses as everyone has flaws and weaknesses.

The thing which holds me back and makes me have those low days where I doubt myself is down to society and my MH problems.

It's like I love myself for many things, but I never get a chance to be what I love about myself because of a combination MH symptoms and how society is (in my experience, far from understanding/accepting of people's MH problems). So then I feel bad about it
 
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#26
Lol, you are a real inspiration :respect: are you able to share some of the things that helped you on the way. For me it's all about having a element of control, something to work with and from :)
I guess the starting point was removing negative language as a form of expression. Once I removed negativity from my speech, it disappeared from my thoughts too. I look for beauty in everything - once you've trained your mind to hone in on positive things, this becomes your experience and reality.

I can still get lows - the difference is, I can lift myself out of them quickly.

It really matters how you talk to yourself. xx
 
O

OCDguy

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#27
I'm a realistic person. I don't know how I got that way but it happened. I can like my strengths but also be relatively comfortable with my weaknesses as everyone has flaws and weaknesses.

The thing which holds me back and makes me have those low days where I doubt myself is down to society and my MH problems.

It's like I love myself for many things, but I never get a chance to be what I love about myself because of a combination MH symptoms and how society is (in my experience, far from understanding/accepting of people's MH problems). So then I feel bad about it
Sounds more like a circumstances thing, rather than a personal thing. What elements of control do you have to change your environmental circumstances (e.g. a change of social circles, accommodation etc.)
 
O

OCDguy

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#28
I guess the starting point was removing negative language as a form of expression. Once I removed negativity from my speech, it disappeared from my thoughts too. I look for beauty in everything - once you've trained your mind to hone in on positive things, this becomes your experience and reality.

I can still get lows - the difference is, I can lift myself out of them quickly.

It really matters how you talk to yourself. xx
I absolutely love that. That sounds like the best advice I have heard all year (y)
 
O

OCDguy

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#29
Be the friend you've always dreamed of - to yourself.

I don't run negative dialogue through my head - I celebrate my good attributes and forgive myself for the less appealing ones ;)

Our greatest critic is normally our own internal voice - so I swapped mine for someone warm, loving and encouraging.

There's an old saying that I remember my dad saying to me: "It's not the cards you're dealt that matters but how you play your hand." I make the most of what I've got and have re-trained my mind to appreciate the beauty in me. xx
I hope I'm not being nosey (please tell me if I am), but it crossed my mind, was there a trigger in your life that brought this change of thinking into play :)
 
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Girl interupted

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#30
I guess the starting point was removing negative language as a form of expression. Once I removed negativity from my speech, it disappeared from my thoughts too. I look for beauty in everything - once you've trained your mind to hone in on positive things, this becomes your experience and reality.

I can still get lows - the difference is, I can lift myself out of them quickly.

It really matters how you talk to yourself. xx
Love this. :thanks:
 
L

Lunar Lady

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#31
I hope I'm not being nosey (please tell me if I am), but it crossed my mind, was there a trigger in your life that brought this change of thinking into play :)
No, just a gradual learning process x
 
Flameheart (was BPDevil)

Flameheart (was BPDevil)

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#34
theres some really great answers on here, thanks everyone
 
L

Lunar Lady

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#35
theres some really great answers on here, thanks everyone
BP, hope it genuinely helps.

When you next move around on the forum, start counting the number of negative affirmations an individual can write in one post (the last post I counted had 16 over two paragraphs)

Things like: I'll never be happy.. I'm no good at anything... I have no talent... people hate me etc.

Your brain follows programming in the same way as a computer - so if you keep building these negative neural pathways, you condition your mind for depression. Change the way you think.

Parent yourself - be encouraging, supportive and constantly loving towards the growing 'you'. Catch the negative thoughts and challenge them - who's voice is it? Who is damning you?...and replace that ugly judgement with something empowering.

Tell me ten good things about you...I'll start you off with two:

You are incredibly strong and a survivor.

You have a disarming honesty that others would kill for.

Your turn :hug: xx
 
Flameheart (was BPDevil)

Flameheart (was BPDevil)

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#36
BP, hope it genuinely helps.

When you next move around on the forum, start counting the number of negative affirmations an individual can write in one post (the last post I counted had 16 over two paragraphs)

Things like: I'll never be happy.. I'm no good at anything... I have no talent... people hate me etc.

Your brain follows programming in the same way as a computer - so if you keep building these negative neural pathways, you condition your mind for depression. Change the way you think.

Parent yourself - be encouraging, supportive and constantly loving towards the growing 'you'. Catch the negative thoughts and challenge them - who's voice is it? Who is damning you?...and replace that ugly judgement with something empowering.

Tell me ten good things about you...I'll start you off with two:

You are incredibly strong and a survivor.

You have a disarming honesty that others would kill for.

Your turn :hug: xx
okay

im good listener
im creative
critical thinker
i dont follow the crowd
i can love and care deeply when committed

thats five. I cant think of any more
 
L

Lunar Lady

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#37
okay

im good listener
im creative
critical thinker
i dont follow the crowd
i can love and care deeply when committed

thats five. I cant think of any more
That's a great list.

If you're a good listener, you must be compassionate and caring (otherwise, you wouldn't listen.)

To not follow the crowd, you have to be independent, strong-willed and strong-minded.

You're capable of love - so you're emotionally whole and emotionally open.

A critical thinker has a logical, analytical mind........

All great things...so these are what you focus on. Start to build a relationship with the person you really are.

This is the real reflection of you - not the distorted and disproportionate image you see reflected in the warped fairground mirror of mental illness.

.....and you're something special. xx
 

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