does anyone else have no idea how to love themselves?

C

Coolname

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#2
No idea but if you find an answer, please share ;)
 
G

Girl interupted

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#3
This turned the lightbulb on for me (after I stopped bawling watching this)

 
O

OCDguy

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#4
To me it is simple, but I apologise if you find this dismissive of your every day struggles :hug: Basically you need to look beyond those struggles, and possibly write down your values and what motivates/inspires you. Here are some to give you a idea... truth/honesty, mutual respect, build trust in others, empathy, sympathising, compassion, sharing, caring, understanding. These are some of the foundations used to build strong, loving relationships and no doubt there are many others :) If you are able to focus and build from your strong positive attributes, it may help you over come the every day obstacles which are thrown in your path. For essentially when you take those obstacles/struggles away, you are left with the real you, and you may get a idea of what your real development/accomplishments may look like... :hug:
 
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Coolname

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#5
This turned the lightbulb on for me (after I stopped bawling watching this)

Thanks for sharing that, it makes so much sense. I have been trying to access self compassion and self regard for a long while now, I think I am inching towards it. Fingers crossed.
 
C

Coolname

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#6
To me it is simple, but I apologise if you find this dismissive of your every day struggles :hug: Basically you need to look beyond those struggles, and possibly write down your values and what motivates/inspires you. Here are some to give you a idea... truth/honesty, mutual respect, build trust in others, empathy, sympathising, compassion, sharing, caring, understanding. These are some of the foundations used to build strong, loving relationships and no doubt there are many others :) If you are able to focus and build from your strong positive attributes, it may help you over come the every day obstacles which are thrown in your path. For essentially when you take those obstacles/struggles away, you are left with the real you, and you may get a idea of what your real development/accomplishments may look like... :hug:
Hi

Funnily enough, your method of identifying and committing to your values is a key part of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy which also contains much on the mindfulness and self compassion that Girl Interupted raised.
 
RockSolid

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#7
Eat healthy foods, avoid drugs and alcohol. Keep your body moving all day long in a way that doesn't leave you exhausted the next day but in a way that forces you to go to bed early. Avoid people with a Doomer mentality. Don't use cellphones. Unplug your WiFi every night before bed. Feel free to enjoy sex without guilt. Explore nature to help quiet your mind. Find a hobby that doesn't stress you out. Avoid shopping but every few months reward yourself with a small gift. Little things like this will keep you healthy and after a while your brain will feel more energized and positive.
 
Lunus

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#8
the most basic advice people give is 'love yourself'

yeah how then

where do you even start
Having had glimpses of mindfulness and seeing me in BPD mode, fuck knows how anyone would like me let alone me liking myself.
 
G

Girl interupted

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#10
Thanks for sharing that, it makes so much sense. I have been trying to access self compassion and self regard for a long while now, I think I am inching towards it. Fingers crossed.

I am hopeful for you hon. I think you have it in you. Then you can permanently remove that 2 year date. Xo

And neither of you two are terrible. At least from what I have seen here you have reached out to help others and show compassion. Terrible people have zero compassion.
 
E

EstherRose94

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#11
For me it’s been getting to know my inner child self.
 
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OCDguy

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#12
Dig deep, look for the positives and build on them :)
 
Lunus

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#13
I am hopeful for you hon. I think you have it in you. Then you can permanently remove that 2 year date. Xo

And neither of you two are terrible. At least from what I have seen here you have reached out to help others and show compassion. Terrible people have zero compassion.
:hug:
 
Urban Hermit

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#14
For me ... One simple act of kindness for someone else, is often enough to know that I'm going to be okay X

Plus shower/ bath , sleep well, eat healthy, go for a walk and listen to good music X
 
Mayfair

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#15
the most basic advice people give is 'love yourself'

yeah how then

where do you even start
Well quite! see next...

No idea but if you find an answer, please share ;)
I think the question is probably an impossible one to answer. Everyone is different.

I'm happy on my own and doing the things I like. (like chatting online in a couple of places), listening to music, and reading and watching things that interest me. Spending time in the garden. I could go on, but you get the gist! - if I could do all that and not have to work but still have enough income to live. I would be happy then, and happiness is an important thing about 'loving yourself' - well , I think.

As it is, I can't support myself, and spend almost every day of the year working to pay for these things that I have, and I want to use and can't! (catch-22)
 
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Pollypop

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#16
I am gaining so much from this thread.

Thank you everybody.

I shall be taking a lot of this on board and also
looking into the therapy. x
 
Mayfair

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#17
I am gaining so much from this thread.

Thank you everybody.

I shall be taking a lot of this on board and also
looking into the therapy. x
Yes, that's partly why I posted, to sub into it.

I generally don't post in this sort of thing, but I think 1 of 2 very interesting topics tonight, that I want to read more replies.

-

For me, it probably interests me, because I hear a lot of advice in real life, and although I can't respond, sometimes I think it's crap! :LOL:
 
A

Ana

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#18
I’ve always been critical of myself and constantly feel inferior to others.
However, I have realised that if no one likes me then at least I must like myself.
This was a lengthy process,and I’m still learning to love myself more to the point where I’m sometimes acting like a narcissist.
Don't worry if it takes long, because eventually you will realise that you are your own best friend.
 
sadpunchingbag

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#19
i have no idea never thought of loving myself as an actual thing i would say i hate myself in every way imaginable
 
O

OCDguy

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#20
Rather than thinking of it as love, think of it as being comfortable with who you are. When things don't work out as they should, or as you would like, just brush it off, pick yourself up, carry on and put it down to experience. Too much self criticism and inward thinking is generally not healthy...
 

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